I dreamt of a guy
He was bright, cheerful, as pretty as the moon
I met him at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
and then we eventually kissed

But at that moment he left
and you came back

I pushed you away, why do you keep coming back
I regret it, why can't I forget it

I just want to dream in happiness
But not even my mind is safe

What do I do?

I keep thinking what I did wrong
I keep thinking what I could have done better
I keep thinking of a different reality
One where you and I actually happened

I'm sorry

I know you don't want this
But I can't control how I'm feeling, how I'm thinking

and how I'm dreaming

I thought of a girl
She was confident, thoughtful, and a smile as bright as the sun
I met her at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
And we eventually kissed

But she, like all figments of my imagination, left
And you came back

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do






What can I do?

The sun draws it's last breaths, it's light stretching to the trees
Their still shadows grab it before becoming phantoms to the night
As it dissipates on the cusp of the horizon, the moon brings a familiar face
The shadows of the leaves cry in the wind, their tears blanketing what little blue is left

The spotlight is in my eyes
The moon's glow surrounds me
I stare into the sky
Never knowing when you'll be here

I'm just staring at my phone again
With the moon as my light
That text message was seen
But I wonder if you've really seen it

The moon dances alones
No more contacts, no more souls
So I dance alone
With the moon and my phone

Do you take a breath before running across my mind?
Because at this point it's sprinting, maybe get some water?

Your outta my mind
But come back in anytime
The door is always open

My heart is vacant
But rent a room for a few days
It'll be short but fulfilling

The lights don't work
I've lost all my energy
But there's a lot of room

So spend the night
The door is unlocked
Not that there was a lock to begin with, or a key to open it

I don't want to hurt you
While I'm falling down
This bliss of colors
And collage of feelings

I want to hold you girl
And you say you went let go

But I'm scared
To hurt you
To feel pain

But I want life to be worth it
I want it to be worth it with you
I want memories to call ours
Ones I promise I won't let go

They always said having a big heart was good
I beg to differ

It's terrible

Feelings happen faster
Pain hurts more
And dead love lasts longer

I am a hopeless romantic
And I am ashamed to admit it
While others admit they are too
They really don't understand

It's not longing love, it's obsessing over it
It's not feeling sad, it's feeling desperate

For someone who idealizes love above else, a hopeless romantic is willing to lower all their standards for a taste

Ask a friend if they have a type, a hopeless romantic won't
They've been alone for so long, that just the sight of love would be enough

And it's not something they can control, I fight it everyday
I have dreams of going to the stars
I have worries, homework, hobbies.
I have so many other things in my life

But yet every waking moment of my existence I think of it
It clouds every other motive in my life, lowering my ambitions and killing my happiness

Love is not what it used to be
It's a crutch
A disease
And I hate it

I hate it

I failed
And it hurts
From the torso down
I can't feel my head
I haven't felt my heart for a few days now

A new monster fight
Right on New Year's Eve
But it's no time to give up
I know what I want is there

I just need to take it a step at a time

And push

Wrapping around my mind
Intoxicating my soul
A golden string stiching my heart back together

The gems clinking
Glimmering
The yarn shining
brightly
The little buttons
Waiting to be pulled

The past has entered the present, holding a ball of yarn

A ball of hope...

I took a swim today
In this deep blue ocean of ours

With a dandelion as my guide I swam with the eagles
I swam with a plane
I dipped in and around some clouds
To get out of the sun's way

But a dragon fly from the depths pulled me back a shore
Still the grass and wind applauded my return
I couldn't ask for more

I have my heart set
On topaz tinted clouds
Resting on a bed of pink rose retals

Nothing will stop me from reach them
Nothing

I'm not done
I'm not done
I'm not done

Sweet caramel brown
Black hair flowing down
A beauty like the sun
Stealing everyone's eyes

She exists in my heart
Someone who I'll always want
To love? Sure one could say that
To be? More than anything in this world

Vuloptuous

Skin as smooth as ice
Glistening eyes in the night
I could finally look at the stars
And see a reflection just as attractive

I could wear what I want, love who I'll be
Love who I want, and finally believe

That I was born in the right body
One my soul desires

A body as pretty as my dreams...
My dreams of being a lady

This butterfly moon
And these three lonely stars
Try to guide me

I've lost my will to follow today
My vision slowly erodes
Sunflowers seem so dim at night

There's no soul to share my burden yet
Just me and the streetlights
I'm walking without another
Just me and the streetlights

The moon and stars have left me again
Just me and the streetlights
I feel so alone
Just me and the streetlights

Mindlessly driving my cart
With one tire stuck on it's axle

I'm searching for something sweet
Maybe savory
Maybe not

I'm going to hurt these people if I don't
Confess, choose, and make up my mind

I don't want to hurt them

The suns going down
I'm still stitting up
I'm restless when I think about your face baby

This might actually last
But first I must say
That I'm scared as hell without you baby

Why do I trust these thoughts and feelings that have never come before

Why do I say these words when I know that they don't mean much to you

I'm still looking at you baby girl
I'm still thinking of a time
I'm still wondering if this could work out baby girl
But it's time I head to sleep tonight

Dreaming, Dreaming, Dreaming of you tonight

Dreaming, Dreaming, Sleeping alone at night

The thumping harmonious with the message of the bees
Love is in the air
Pollen is in the sky
I'm sneezing, I'm loving
A new light to chase

Can I get a kiss?
Can you make it last forver?
Im about to go to war
If I dont see you again

I stand on this divide between two worlds
It's a narrow path, a little shaky, easily swayed by the wind

Sometimes the path becomes too small, sometimes it gets too big
Either way I fall into my worlds, be it choice or not

These worlds I wish were my own


One filled with sunflowers in a magenta sky
Filled with dreams I call mine
Love in the air
Happiness in my eyes
I could sleep in this world
For the rest of my life

One a deep blue ocean in the sky
Filled with my life
It's wind grasping my heart
And opening my eyes
Clarity in the air
And the sun on the horizon

I can fall into these worlds, but I need to get out, because I'm not meant to be in one for too long

So I fall again, in the opposite direction, hoping to miss the divide by an inch, but my back hits it with a thud

I'm tired but I look up not towards the worlds but inwards
A mix of blue and pink lay inside

The sun refracts the stars above
The shattered glass shines your light
But the moon drips from the reflection of your tears
And again, I'll count the days till I see your eyes

Outside my window
Two stars stare
They laugh and gloat
For being so bright

But when they look next to eachother
They see an abyss of black
Billions of light years away
From each other

I wish I could laugh
But I'm farther
trillion of light years
away from you

Where did you run off
Summertime and fall, Summertime and fall

When did you turn back
Back and back again, Back and back again

Why did it go wrong
Winter nights and spring, Winter nights and spring

How could I have known
What you mean to me, What you mean to me

Blood dripping from my hand

Crimson bathes in the spot
where only a few drops managed to touch

His face revealed just like his plot
Oh god why'd they make him so hot

Flying through the sky, in front of you a falcon

You follow it without realizing what's beyond it's wings

You never look beyond it's wings

You never see what could be

I've got a lot of things
I only have two hands to hold them
My range of emotions is limitless
But I can only feel them one at a time

I don't have the strength to be happy for you when I'm sad
I don't have the time to be sad about us when I should be glad
I don't have the energy to talk these days

But i'm still chugging like a choo choo train

My heart rythmic with the sky
Your smile illuminating the night

You'd be a girl, no a guy
Honestly it wouldn't matter what's outside

Because we're here in the fields
A summer breeze passing by

You gazing at the stars
While I stare into your eyes

The reflection I hold most dear
Your heart thumping with mine

I want to see the stars
The moon
A shooting star I hope

I want to see it all through the most beautiful telescope

I want to give my heart, my soul, everything I have

Just to stare into your eyes once more
My beautiful telescope

I want you
I need you

But I can't find you

The stars are so dim in the night

I'll search
I'll stumble

I need to see you

In hopes that one day you'll say

That I look prettier than the stars
Or that your smile belong to me

I'm hoping you'll just be there
When I can't seem to see

I want you
I need you

But without my astral reflection

There's nothing to love

I love you
I see you

Somewhere in my heart

Looking outside a window, at the same two stars

Hop into the sky

See the clouds
See the sun

See it all change in the blink of an eye

Hold on to your tree, see it cut down

Give up on the soil, and watch flowers bloom

Everything changes
The ground
The sky
The water

Except your coat of fur
Only matted with tears of regret

My heart emanates a bright glow
It's hole pouring that light all around me


What does it long for
A shadow or another light?


With my light, I could illuminate the shadow
Give it warmth that it so longed for

Or, with a light, I could finally seal a part of the hole
So there would be an equivalent exchange of warmth

Or am I the shadow?
All I look at are others
There light entrancing me like the beauty of a star
Maybe I don't radiate an ounce of light
I'm just in a futile attempt to siphon the radiance of others

Am I trapped in a hell where no light is right for me?
Or in a hell where no shadow is?

No
Stop

No amount of darkness could stop you to see
No amount of light could blind you

Just take it one step at a time
Life is rarely black and white

There's so many different colors radiating from everyone
We're all in this collage of pastels, both dark and light

Don't let this dredge of darkness and light make you lose sight

I'll go to sleep
One arm under my pillow to lift my neck
The cool side is getting hotter
I think I need to put the fan on again

It's time to go for a swim
In this deep blue ocean of ours

Where the sun lights the sea floor
And refracts the stars above

A retreat from the sands of tomorrow
An unattainable escape from today

For only birds have the ability to flee yesterday
And bathe in this sea of clarity

But if you stop in the moment
And feel the wind in your arms

One day
Maybe one day you´ll fly
To this deep blue ocean of ours
Our ocean in the sky

I kept looking
Behind the crooked tree
Arched over my dreams
Where only birds can vivist

I keep seeing
The blue ocean
Behind the gateway
To my peace


I keep dreaming
Of an ever flowing grass land
On the otherside of the gateway

But in these dreams I can't find my love
I forgot to look in the skies above

Maybe?
Should I
Well....
Maybe not?
I don't know
At least i'm sure of one thing

I really don't know

The stars above were the final destination
I'd take a rocket ship and roam with no hesitation
Through asteroids and suns I'd dodge and roll
But I didn't think you would be my first obstacle

Hundreds of suns exploding all around me
But you've stolen my sight
A black hole could appear right in front of me
But it wouldn't eclipse your light

I wondered where we are
What we're doing here
Why I even exist

But all those questions seem to leave my mind when we kiss

Comets dividing couldn't stop me from wanting
Stars colliding couldn't stop me from seeing

Wherever I travel in this deep dark void
You'll be there to light the way

Galaxies crashing couldn't stop me from needing
The universe dying wouldn't stop me from loving

No matter how long it takes, it won't matter
Time is relative anyway

The shadows etched into the waters of fire and ice
One star
and one slice
Light the night

It's happening again
I can feel it in my bones

The grass is swaying
The trees are shaking
From my window I can see
Figures roaming in the sky

I want to dream
I want to believe
I can put everything
Into this lie

It's not a clear sky
But sunny nonetheless
The deep blue bathes the clouds
That continue to swim

Into a pool of dreams, devoid of any worry
High above the confusion and the gravity of my decisions

If it only it was easier, life would be better
But I can't stop moving because the winds not in my favor
I'll follow it and see where it takes me
And hopefully the destination will be worth it

But if not, that's okay
I'll continue to walk as long as clouds still move

We tried

With this flower we cultivated

Doused it in yellow paint
Glued sunflower seeds on it
Stapled green leaves
Taped yellow petals

But it's smell
It's not it
It's not what I'm looking for
No matter how well the disguise may look

It's just not right
Maybe we should accept it for what it is
It's not a sunflower, but a pretty flower nonetheless

I'll enjoy this flower's scent still, but let's take this facade off together

Another storm
Clashing bolts
Rain chipping me away

All I want
All I need

Is someone to call me pretty

My parents forget
My friends lie

I can't cry

There's no time

Sadness seeps inside
My heart dies

My laughs turn to sighs

My hair crawls on my legs
Sticking to me like parasites

It keeps coming back, slamming me in the face
Reminding me everytime I look in the mirror
I'm born a guy

To my dad that's what I am
To my mom that's what I should be

A rock eroded

When the sun comes we'll say our greetings
As the clouds dissipate from my view
A clear blue sky

In the fall leaves I made it known
In the winter snow I let it show
In the spring flowers I thought it died
In the summer breeze I finally cried

I'll forever search
for the warmth of the light
the one glinting off your eyes

I'll forever chase the warmth of the sky
The one we talked, loved, and kissed under
before the start of the night

But when the sun leaves we'll say our goodbyes
As the clouds sway under the moon
Our dreams becoming distant phantoms

The memories of that bench
Shone in the light

Relying on the warm winds I felt when you hugged me
To say goodbye one final time

I´m walking down this dark space
above me the sun
below me the moon

In the sun, a grassy hill sits
with intertwined sunflowers bathing

In the moon, an iced over ocean emerged
With frozen blue roses sprouting from the cracks

But I'm neither here or there
I walk on this tightrope between two realities
covered in darkness, absent of love

I used to cry in the heat
Now I´m suffering in the cold
I use to drown in the water
Now I´m dying from thirst

In my 4 dimensional sun lies my love
In my 3 dimensional moon lies my longing
And in my 2 dimensional mind lies my loneliness

The wind in my hair
The stars in my eyes
The sun in my arms
The moon by my side

There’s no light in sight
My hearts a gaping hole
And yet I pour everything
My time, my life, my soul

This journey in my rocket ship
With two chairs
In one chair I sit
While the vacant one I stare

No cosmic event could take my eyes off of you
No intergalactic spectacle could stop me from loving you

My sunflower
Sitting at the top of a hill
Millions of light years away
From me, my willow tree, and my moon

Take off my clothes
drenched in sweat

Take off my glasses
So I can't see myself in the mirror

Take off from this planet
On a rocket ship
Alone

Slowing things down
Sticking to my mind
Causing this anxiety

Covering the sun
With clouds of uncertainty
that lie about reality

Against the machine
Against myself

Against all that I believe and doubt

My heart strings it tugs
It tries to unplug

Everything that I care about

So maybe all I need is a little grit and salt
A therapist could be something

I'll pull the rug, right under this slug
And shrug like it was nothing