To save my humanity
I'd construct walls
But tears don't lie to me

I'll let them tumble
Their rubble nurturing the surrounding flowers

Would I wish to stand
In a garden of pure flowers
Not burdened by my sins

To hide the indecencies
I'd shower myself in red
I wouldn't see the shriveled roses being left to dead

Yes but still, I'll save the blood I wish to spill
To color the flowers which lead me to a path unseen

A path soaked in red
Ending with light shining from azure skys

Surrounds my cortex
Blocks the clarity
I so desperateley desire

Burns the walls
Crushes my spirit
Makes me feel in-human

I'll talk about it soon
It'll only leave through my mouth
I'll mutter it's weight

and drop it behind my path

The waning lines etched on the roof
A chair swinging in only two directions

Neither of which I know

Take off my clothes
drenched in sweat

Take off my glasses
So I can't see myself in the mirror

Take off from this planet
On a rocket ship
Alone

When the sun comes we'll say our greetings
As the clouds dissipate from my view
A clear blue sky

In the fall leaves I made it known
In the winter snow I let it show
In the spring flowers I thought it died
In the summer breeze I finally cried

I'll forever search
for the warmth of the light
the one glinting off your eyes

I'll forever chase the warmth of the sky
The one we talked, loved, and kissed under
before the start of the night

But when the sun leaves we'll say our goodbyes
As the clouds sway under the moon
Our dreams becoming distant phantoms

The memories of that bench
Shone in the light

Relying on the warm winds I felt when you hugged me
To say goodbye one final time

The sun risen
The sand crushed between my feet
Sprouted from the ocean
A blossom of clouds
Holding the sun captive

I'm not even half way up

Maybe?
Should I
Well....
Maybe not?
I don't know
At least i'm sure of one thing

I really don't know

It is the single most complex and simple thing in this world

It boggles my head
Hurts my heart

But it's there

The shadows etched into the waters of fire and ice
One star
and one slice
Light the night

I promise I'll hear
I promise I'll understand

Just tell me

And we'll figure it all out later

There's gray in the sky
Blue in my heart

But not sadness yknow

A clear blue, with the sun shining

I am a fool for dreaming
for marveling
for wondering
of you

A fool for believing
and thinking
I could be different

But what remains is a tired fool
Sitting on a bench
Alone

I kept looking
Behind the crooked tree
Arched over my dreams
Where only birds can vivist

I keep seeing
The blue ocean
Behind the gateway
To my peace


I keep dreaming
Of an ever flowing grass land
On the otherside of the gateway

But in these dreams I can't find my love
I forgot to look in the skies above

I wanted to hold hands
And draw together
Our love on the powdered floor

The sun warming us both
Our hearts close together
Your eyes fixed on mine

With a stick I drew
My name and yours
Engraved onto the sands of my dreams

The water crashing
erasing the memories
the future of our love

Like lines in the sand
Our love washed away by the ocean

My love still hanging on

Blood dripping from my hand

Crimson bathes in the spot
where only a few drops managed to touch

His face revealed just like his plot
Oh god why'd they make him so hot

Hop into the sky

See the clouds
See the sun

See it all change in the blink of an eye

Hold on to your tree, see it cut down

Give up on the soil, and watch flowers bloom

Everything changes
The ground
The sky
The water

Except your coat of fur
Only matted with tears of regret

Another storm
Clashing bolts
Rain chipping me away

All I want
All I need

Is someone to call me pretty

My parents forget
My friends lie

I can't cry

There's no time

Sadness seeps inside
My heart dies

My laughs turn to sighs

My hair crawls on my legs
Sticking to me like parasites

It keeps coming back, slamming me in the face
Reminding me everytime I look in the mirror
I'm born a guy

To my dad that's what I am
To my mom that's what I should be

A rock eroded

Wrapping around my mind
Intoxicating my soul
A golden string stiching my heart back together

The gems clinking
Glimmering
The yarn shining
brightly
The little buttons
Waiting to be pulled

The past has entered the present, holding a ball of yarn

A ball of hope...

Slowing things down
Sticking to my mind
Causing this anxiety

Covering the sun
With clouds of uncertainty
that lie about reality

Against the machine
Against myself

Against all that I believe and doubt

My heart strings it tugs
It tries to unplug

Everything that I care about

So maybe all I need is a little grit and salt
A therapist could be something

I'll pull the rug, right under this slug
And shrug like it was nothing

My heart rythmic with the sky
Your smile illuminating the night

You'd be a girl, no a guy
Honestly it wouldn't matter what's outside

Because we're here in the fields
A summer breeze passing by

You gazing at the stars
While I stare into your eyes

The reflection I hold most dear
Your heart thumping with mine

I want to see the stars
The moon
A shooting star I hope

I want to see it all through the most beautiful telescope

I want to give my heart, my soul, everything I have

Just to stare into your eyes once more
My beautiful telescope

I want you
I need you

But I can't find you

The stars are so dim in the night

I'll search
I'll stumble

I need to see you

In hopes that one day you'll say

That I look prettier than the stars
Or that your smile belong to me

I'm hoping you'll just be there
When I can't seem to see

I want you
I need you

But without my astral reflection

There's nothing to love

I love you
I see you

Somewhere in my heart

Looking outside a window, at the same two stars

The pulsating heart of the ground
Shadows born from the sky
A clash of light and darkness
Below a cloudy sky

On this green battlefield
Wind pushing the victors forward
The light pushing through
The shadows fizzling into the ground

A tree standing
The only constant of the land
Catering to the shadows and motivating the light

The clouds clear up and the battlefield revealed

The shadows have gotten darker
And the light has gotten brighter
In perfect harmony under this blue sky

Sweet caramel brown
Black hair flowing down
A beauty like the sun
Stealing everyone's eyes

She exists in my heart
Someone who I'll always want
To love? Sure one could say that
To be? More than anything in this world

Vuloptuous

Skin as smooth as ice
Glistening eyes in the night
I could finally look at the stars
And see a reflection just as attractive

I could wear what I want, love who I'll be
Love who I want, and finally believe

That I was born in the right body
One my soul desires

A body as pretty as my dreams...
My dreams of being a lady

Flying through the sky, in front of you a falcon

You follow it without realizing what's beyond it's wings

You never look beyond it's wings

You never see what could be

The stars above were the final destination
I'd take a rocket ship and roam with no hesitation
Through asteroids and suns I'd dodge and roll
But I didn't think you would be my first obstacle

Hundreds of suns exploding all around me
But you've stolen my sight
A black hole could appear right in front of me
But it wouldn't eclipse your light

I wondered where we are
What we're doing here
Why I even exist

But all those questions seem to leave my mind when we kiss

Comets dividing couldn't stop me from wanting
Stars colliding couldn't stop me from seeing

Wherever I travel in this deep dark void
You'll be there to light the way

Galaxies crashing couldn't stop me from needing
The universe dying wouldn't stop me from loving

No matter how long it takes, it won't matter
Time is relative anyway

I stand on this divide between two worlds
It's a narrow path, a little shaky, easily swayed by the wind

Sometimes the path becomes too small, sometimes it gets too big
Either way I fall into my worlds, be it choice or not

These worlds I wish were my own


One filled with sunflowers in a magenta sky
Filled with dreams I call mine
Love in the air
Happiness in my eyes
I could sleep in this world
For the rest of my life

One a deep blue ocean in the sky
Filled with my life
It's wind grasping my heart
And opening my eyes
Clarity in the air
And the sun on the horizon

I can fall into these worlds, but I need to get out, because I'm not meant to be in one for too long

So I fall again, in the opposite direction, hoping to miss the divide by an inch, but my back hits it with a thud

I'm tired but I look up not towards the worlds but inwards
A mix of blue and pink lay inside

It's time to go for a swim
In this deep blue ocean of ours

Where the sun lights the sea floor
And refracts the stars above

A retreat from the sands of tomorrow
An unattainable escape from today

For only birds have the ability to flee yesterday
And bathe in this sea of clarity

But if you stop in the moment
And feel the wind in your arms

One day
Maybe one day you´ll fly
To this deep blue ocean of ours
Our ocean in the sky

It's happening again
I can feel it in my bones

The grass is swaying
The trees are shaking
From my window I can see
Figures roaming in the sky

I want to dream
I want to believe
I can put everything
Into this lie

It's not a clear sky
But sunny nonetheless
The deep blue bathes the clouds
That continue to swim

Into a pool of dreams, devoid of any worry
High above the confusion and the gravity of my decisions

If it only it was easier, life would be better
But I can't stop moving because the winds not in my favor
I'll follow it and see where it takes me
And hopefully the destination will be worth it

But if not, that's okay
I'll continue to walk as long as clouds still move

There's a warmth on your back
And an idea on your mind
As you fall into the lake, and eventually sink
Sink into this world of yours

Where reality has no bearing
And you have all the freedom you can imagine
Where the consequences haven't reached you
And the rewards are endless

Where your heart can finally be one
And not broken into a million pieces

A dream where dreamers finally find meaning in their existence

A place where I'm not tethered to hope
A place where I have everything

A place where I finally have you by my side
Smiling and holding me

A place where I see your eyes
Watching over me

A place where I feel your warmth
Keeping me away from the cold

A place where love with you
Seems possible


But I wake up, with a full heart
Full of hope that this dream will come into fruition

That this dream will grow into a most beautiful flower

A sunflower shining it's light onto me
with a smile I can only dream of...

The sand on my feet rubs against the towel
A towel, on a beach, 2 miles from where we were staying

I can't help but notice the sun, no not you silly, but the sun in the distance
Melting into the ocean scattering it's aura across the sky

I could stare at it for hours but it seems like you brought me here for something else

You open our picnic basket and pull out a bottle of wine
The purple elixir flowed into the glass tinted with the sun's last bit of life

"I'd like to sing you a song, if you'd like?"

"Of course I would"

And a song he sang

The wind joined in the festivities helping the grass sway to my darling's voice.
The seagulls all became silent to allow this performance of love to go smoothly
And the ocean rolled in and out harmoniously with his song.

The melting sun froze it's retirement for just one moment, so I could see just how bright he really was.

The song ended, and he gave me a grin

"How'd you like it"

But I couldn't respond
They're were too many tears rolling down my cheek

But I had to show my gratitude somehow

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled in his general direction

And in return, he gave me a ring with the promise of love for a lifetime

It's half past 10
And the stars have never been brighter
And yet here you are
Lighting a ******* fire

And blocking my view of this terrific sight
Eclipsing the stars with all your light

It's half past 5
And the sun's rising
And yet your playing in the ocean
Which I find unsurprising

Distracting me from the sun, a sight worthwhile
With your calm, comforting, most beautiful smile

It's half past 1
And the trees are dancing
And yet here you are interrupting them
With your romancing

Covering my eyes from the clear blue sky
Kissing me on the lips, oh how I could just die

It's half past 10
And the stars have never been so dim
And yet you're not here
When did life get so grim

The plentiful stars now seem to be fading
God I wish we were more than just dating


It's half past 5
And the sun's rising
And yet you're not here
Which I find surprising

The sun seems to have froze
I really need to just propose

It's half past 1
And the trees are tired
And yet you're not here
The one I most desire

The birds now chirp less
I think it's time to confess

It's half past 10
All but one star is left
And yet you're here
committing a most heinous theft

You've stolen my sight, my lips, and most  importantly my heart
But still there's a question I must ask -
Would you love me through hardships, through Mondays, and till death do us apart?

Up until now I was comfortable with who I am
An average looking guy with impeccable taste

What if I was a girl?
What would change?

Would it be better than now?
Or would it just be strange

I'm tired of not knowing
Wondering and dreaming

Because reality hits me in the chin
As I wake up looking at the ceiling

I just want to be a cute girl
With my personality intact

Not this manly figure
Who knows what he is a fact

So I sigh and look out my window
With a tree flowing in the wind
Stretching out to the clear blue sky
Carrying a warm grin

I smile at the sight, as I often do
Dream about being a tree dancing in the wind
Dancing in the wind with you

A tree with no dreams, but a tree with happiness nonetheless

A tree in the snow, on a hill, touching the sky...

right next to my desk

They always said having a big heart was good
I beg to differ

It's terrible

Feelings happen faster
Pain hurts more
And dead love lasts longer

I am a hopeless romantic
And I am ashamed to admit it
While others admit they are too
They really don't understand

It's not longing love, it's obsessing over it
It's not feeling sad, it's feeling desperate

For someone who idealizes love above else, a hopeless romantic is willing to lower all their standards for a taste

Ask a friend if they have a type, a hopeless romantic won't
They've been alone for so long, that just the sight of love would be enough

And it's not something they can control, I fight it everyday
I have dreams of going to the stars
I have worries, homework, hobbies.
I have so many other things in my life

But yet every waking moment of my existence I think of it
It clouds every other motive in my life, lowering my ambitions and killing my happiness

Love is not what it used to be
It's a crutch
A disease
And I hate it

I hate it

I dreamt of a guy
He was bright, cheerful, as pretty as the moon
I met him at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
and then we eventually kissed

But at that moment he left
and you came back

I pushed you away, why do you keep coming back
I regret it, why can't I forget it

I just want to dream in happiness
But not even my mind is safe

What do I do?

I keep thinking what I did wrong
I keep thinking what I could have done better
I keep thinking of a different reality
One where you and I actually happened

I'm sorry

I know you don't want this
But I can't control how I'm feeling, how I'm thinking

and how I'm dreaming

I thought of a girl
She was confident, thoughtful, and a smile as bright as the sun
I met her at school and we started to talk

We laughed
We flirted
And we eventually kissed

But she, like all figments of my imagination, left
And you came back

What do I do
What do I do
What do I do






What can I do?

My heart emanates a bright glow
It's hole pouring that light all around me


What does it long for
A shadow or another light?


With my light, I could illuminate the shadow
Give it warmth that it so longed for

Or, with a light, I could finally seal a part of the hole
So there would be an equivalent exchange of warmth

Or am I the shadow?
All I look at are others
There light entrancing me like the beauty of a star
Maybe I don't radiate an ounce of light
I'm just in a futile attempt to siphon the radiance of others

Am I trapped in a hell where no light is right for me?
Or in a hell where no shadow is?

No
Stop

No amount of darkness could stop you to see
No amount of light could blind you

Just take it one step at a time
Life is rarely black and white

There's so many different colors radiating from everyone
We're all in this collage of pastels, both dark and light

Don't let this dredge of darkness and light make you lose sight

I sit down in my workspace
With dread on my mind
I'm exhausted beyond belief
But to give up would be out of line

A memory creeps up from behind
Sensing my pain
A storm of happiness emerged
To brighten my day

The call is on
This storm's force is getting strong
It'll help me break the weather
And keep me together

The storm grows, and water flows
From my eyes down to my nose

I really forgot why I was still running, still running, still running

Go
My brain says
Go
This storm
will grow


With the speed of the wind
And a strength like thunder

Go
This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm caused a grin
a grin like no other

Go
This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow

This storm will
Grow
So I have to follow


The storm left me even though I ran after it, but not without
leaving me with a smile, and possibly a flood warning for my eyes 0.0

You didn't ask for this relationship
I did
You didn't want a romance
I did
You wanted it to be casual
I couldn't
I would say you want to be friends
but I don't know if you do

My first mistake
I went into our friendship with romance in my eyes

My second mistake
I didn't let my feelings die that night

I dreamt of you the day I wanted to sever that connection
My head hurts
There's a pressure in my mind
Is this what our friendship is supposed to feel like?

I can't ask anything from anyone, in the end it's their life but still
Do you value our friendship? Or is it an obligation
Do you care about me? Or am I just another person in this world
Do you enjoy my company? Or am I just another part of your anxiety

If you do value me, then we can rebuild
But if you don't, then I don't know

I don't know

The bustling city life
Only brings the death like traits in us all
But when it rains
I escape to my grotto

Nestled in a park of the city
It holds a shrine, a pond, and my peace

The rain trickles down the trees
where ripples disturb the sleeping pond

That's when I met her

Everyday it rained
I met her

Everyday it didn't
I thought of her

Everyday became the rainy days, while sunny days no longer held the same warmth

All that mattered was the garden
Were only words were spoken
Not words of our lives
Not words of our worries
But words of our hope

She was the only comfort
But summertime came

I worked every night, and tried to detach myself from her
But I couldn't
I couldn't

It was still sunny, but I didn't care

I went to the garden
She was there

There were no words to be said
Only my love to be heard

Thunder clashed with the atmosphere
And drove us home

We enjoyed this temporary happiness
Free of society, of worry, of thought
We only spoke words after all
There was no thought behind it
Only feeling
And with all my feeling I said those 3 words

"I love you"

Thunder reemerged
Happiness scuttled away
I changed, and left
I stood at those stairs

With sadness, anger, and loneliness
I know we couldn't be my mind repeated

Before I could change the words in my head
She called for me and stared at me with those sad eyes

"I hate you"

"Why don't you say what your feeling"
"What do you think will change"
"I hate you"
"I hate you"

Before I could say three words, she ran and hugged me with all her feelings. I forgot my words. I forgot my feelings. In one instant I understood her pain and sorrow. "You saved me, thank you"


It's winter now, my grotto lay barren
The trees no longer hold water droplets to be passed onto the pond
But I still remember her

In our garden of words
Were no real word was spoken
But real feelings clashed
Were thunder sang, and trees danced

Were rain was the bridge between two humans and their happiness

I always wonder how she is doing but I hold one thought to my heart

That someday it'll rain

We tried

With this flower we cultivated

Doused it in yellow paint
Glued sunflower seeds on it
Stapled green leaves
Taped yellow petals

But it's smell
It's not it
It's not what I'm looking for
No matter how well the disguise may look

It's just not right
Maybe we should accept it for what it is
It's not a sunflower, but a pretty flower nonetheless

I'll enjoy this flower's scent still, but let's take this facade off together

Clarity

The sun is shining in the sky
Void of any cloud, worry, in my eyes

And so I walk
I feel this warmth from all directions
and I walk

A journey? sure
but a pleasure none the less
it's days like these, that life's not such a mess

on the porch I sit, the blades of grass dancing in the wind
The trees shaking with delight
as they stare at my grin

My heart isn't always empty
On the contrary, its rather full
I misplace it sometimes, that's all
but this dance helps me remember

Remember that I'm loved.

I´m walking down this dark space
above me the sun
below me the moon

In the sun, a grassy hill sits
with intertwined sunflowers bathing

In the moon, an iced over ocean emerged
With frozen blue roses sprouting from the cracks

But I'm neither here or there
I walk on this tightrope between two realities
covered in darkness, absent of love

I used to cry in the heat
Now I´m suffering in the cold
I use to drown in the water
Now I´m dying from thirst

In my 4 dimensional sun lies my love
In my 3 dimensional moon lies my longing
And in my 2 dimensional mind lies my loneliness

The wind in my hair
The stars in my eyes
The sun in my arms
The moon by my side

There’s no light in sight
My hearts a gaping hole
And yet I pour everything
My time, my life, my soul

This journey in my rocket ship
With two chairs
In one chair I sit
While the vacant one I stare

No cosmic event could take my eyes off of you
No intergalactic spectacle could stop me from loving you

My sunflower
Sitting at the top of a hill
Millions of light years away
From me, my willow tree, and my moon