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175 · Apr 2020
I feel it.
Rhiannon Apr 2020
For love it is a wretched word,
It does not sit well in my mouth.
Opposed to me in twos and thirds,
Consumes my brain in doubt.

For it keeps lingering ominously,
I do feel it in my skull,
Stuck, jarring sounds, cacophony,
My mind remaining dull.

And harsh it is to feel the sting,
A wasp crawled up my arm,
What ebbing state, vile thing,
Light up my thoughts in alarm.

But you are seen more in light,
Than darkness is to say.
I clench my fists in noble fight,
But you will not go away.
173 · Jan 2016
Made.
Rhiannon Jan 2016
With my bones I made a shield,
With my tongue I made a knife,
With my finger I made a prosecutor,
With my hand I made a friend.

But my heart I have yet to mend.
173 · Jan 2016
Love
Rhiannon Jan 2016
Patiently waiting for you,
Time ticking by.
I can feel the sunlight,
Rays straight up my spine.
Caressing my neck,
Enlightening my eyes.
173 · Apr 2016
You
Rhiannon Apr 2016
You
You have served me well,
You have made me a better human,
You have made me a better me.

You corrected my wrongs,
Picked me up when I fell down,
You shunned people for laughing at me when I hit the ground.

You've comforted me with hugs,
Given me sweet kisses.
You've loved me and granted my wishes.

Although I've used you all my life,
For some good and some bad,
But it's always been honest it's never been a lie.

Then the one time I lied to you,
You wiped my tears away as I cried.

You've never caused me heartache because you've always been you,
I just hope you love me as much as I've always loved you.
173 · Feb 2016
Trap.
Rhiannon Feb 2016
Of course you're right.
Why wouldn't you be?
You've always been the smart one,
Out of us three.

It's a shame about the arrogance,
You'd be better without it.
It's not your fault,
The bad traits come from Dads side.

But lately you're making me panic.
It's always been about your pride,
And any time I question it,
You scream, Shout then start to cry,
And I just cant handle it.

You're damaged beyond belief.
I know that's not nice to say,
But I feel as if you use me,
To bully and lead astray.

I'll put up with it for now,
But one day I'll finally snap,
And then I will find my way out,
Of your demented and cruel trap.
172 · Feb 2022
Waiting.
Rhiannon Feb 2022
Never thought I would meet you there,
Right on the edge of the precipice of despair,
As I self-sabotage into ruin,
I know not to beg and not to wait,
Dread in my gut constantly brewing,
Hoping it doesn't turn into hate.
172 · Mar 2016
Freak.
Rhiannon Mar 2016
Stop freaking out,
People have to come to terms with these things.
One breath can calm you down,
Just breathe.
No one's restricting your windpipe.
170 · Jun 2017
Please don't get involved.
Rhiannon Jun 2017
Tell me I'm not crazy,
Tell me I'm sane.

Oh, but maybe,
You're the one dissecting my brain?
167 · Dec 2015
Lonely
Rhiannon Dec 2015
Alone, Alone.
She said it would be temporary,
As her heart swelled and bled.
Like a cold it will be horrible,
You'll loose sleep,
But it will only be temporary.
It can only be temporary,
Alone.........
165 · Jan 2016
Understand.
Rhiannon Jan 2016
I don't understand,
How can I be eating a full meal,
And someone in another country be starving?
How can half this planet be obese?
And the other half strive to survive on a few grains of rice?
Where's the humanity?
Where's the sanity?
I want to go and help,
But  I am just too  young,
So when I am older and I'm bolder,
I am going to help.
I am going to strive with them,
Survive with them,
And maybe... Just maybe,
The world would be a fairer place.
165 · Apr 2016
Horror.
Rhiannon Apr 2016
She's always been beautiful,
Beautiful to the eyes.
But these poor boys have no idea,
What horrors lie inside.
164 · May 2020
heavy thoughts.
Rhiannon May 2020
An unsettled feeling twists in my gut, as I think of everything I haven't done. Every ounce, fragile pound of weight set upon my bones, leaves me lethargic. There is more to my life than work. My friends are embodiments of love, that God or whoever made us, gave to ease our pain. I am caught in the joy of movement. The joy of travel. The idea that escapism is enough. But how do you escape your own brain? How do you escape your own body? This life is what you make of it. But I want to know what made me. Am I truly in control? Or is this all some sort of sick joke? My thoughts are made up of question marks. But question marks do not give me answers. And what if I get the answers I want but they don't settle right with me?

What if this life is made up of more than question marks?
Rhiannon Feb 2019
It's always possible I find,
To try your best to be kind.

And if somebody among you is mean,
Do not fall down to their scene.

You're better than bitter resent,
Even if it's not how they meant.

Do not fall for their trick,
Dodge those nasty words quick!,

Because it's always possible I find,
To try your best to be kind.
161 · Nov 2016
I.
Rhiannon Nov 2016
I.
Listening to little lion man,
Half eaten bowl of Spaghetti to my right,
Half drunk mug of tea to my left.
I've waited five hours,
But you still haven't shown up.

You told me you'd be here at two,
But you forgot because you're scatterbrained.
I text you at four and asked if you were coming,
You said "yes", but I don't believe you.

Because I remember waiting up until two am,
But you never came home.
I'd get a brief text message that you're staying out,
Because you're always staying out.

I miss you, I always miss you.
I barely saw you for five years,
Then I got you for a few months,
But I took it for granted cause I'm a ******* idiot.

I miss you,
I've lost my appetite,
Just like you've lost interest.
But I still ******* miss you.
159 · Mar 2016
Forever.
Rhiannon Mar 2016
Forever the lone wolf in love.
You cannot change an independent woman's way of living,
But sometimes these walls I've built close in.
Crushing me under the weight,
The weight of my self-induced loneliness.
159 · Nov 2016
Fine.
Rhiannon Nov 2016
You said you were "Fine."
But I don't think you understand what "Fine" means.
It insinuates that you're ok,
Erasing the voices in your head that make your brain decay,
Causing a mass of anomalies to appear in front of you.

You told me you were "Fine."
But I've seen your wrists and I don't think they cut themselves.
It was all far too cliche for you to admit,
The fact that you need help.

'Cause I don't wan't to wake up without you,
Your bright smile makes my day,
And your soft words are of virtue,
That chase all the monsters away.

You cannot leave me now,
We're in too deep,
Both stuck in mud,
As the negatives devour our feet.
158 · Nov 2016
These idiots.
Rhiannon Nov 2016
It's the bizarre way you notice everything,
Like a spy you observe but you do not speak.
Someones insulted and someones complimented,
Still you do nothing except think.

It's the way you do not care for words,
Like too many are said in one day,
As if staying silent forever,
Will mute the hurtful things they say.

You hold your own reading your book,
Thinking you're rebellion is great,
And whilst you eat your lunch,
They knock your sandwich out your hands commenting about your weight.

But you just roll your eyes and carry on,
These idiots haven't got long left,
Within a year they'll be gone,
And then life will put them to the test.
158 · Sep 2016
If.
Rhiannon Sep 2016
If.
If I tell you that I love you,
Would you run and hide?
Because I've said it in actions,
At least a hundred times.
156 · Mar 2016
Nails.
Rhiannon Mar 2016
Friends is a term I tend to abuse,
Better bring out your dead,
This isn't old news.
With their slippery palms,
Finding a new heart,
To sink their nails into.
156 · Oct 2016
I.
Rhiannon Oct 2016
I.
I treated you nicely,
Bought you lovely things.
Like a brand new grand piano,
And a couple of diamond rings.

You told me that you liked me,
And everything was fine,
But then I found you kissing,
Their lips instead of mine.

You'd told me you were sorry,
Bought me some new flowers,
That's when I'd realised that money,
Was the reason you called this 'Ours'.

And I always found it funny,
Even from the start,
That no amount of money,
Could ever buy your heart.
156 · Dec 2015
feelings
Rhiannon Dec 2015
And then from that very moment I knew.
These feelings weren't natural,
They were created and manipulated from your own self pity.
Debated about and figured out.
They have never been natural.
156 · Oct 2016
Pray.
Rhiannon Oct 2016
Pray for your enemies,
Hold their hands,
Because their reasons for hurting you,
May be hard to understand.

But acceptance and forgiveness,
Will light you up and make you whole,
As love is the only real power,
That can cleanse a human soul.
156 · Oct 2016
Sun.
Rhiannon Oct 2016
The wind was cold and harsh against our skin,
But we didn't mind.
As we were saved and cleansed from sin,
Your glory and love was refined.

A mountain weight you took off your shoulders,
With just the brush of your hand,
And you trampled our demons with heavy boulders,
When they saw how tall you stand.

The sun was hot against my back,
As you encouraged me to carry on,
So when I helped my friends up you shielded me from attack,
Whilst singing a happy song.
156 · Mar 2016
Tick.
Rhiannon Mar 2016
The clocks ticking away seconds of my life,
So what do I do with this knife in my hand?
I don’t know whether this was planned,
Is my life contained in a can?

My liver is screaming for me to stop,
My skin is rough and of no good.
Everything here is misunderstood.

You have to learn!
That’s just the way it is!
Well, I'm sorry if I offend you,
But I couldn't give a **** anymore.
154 · Sep 2016
For a God.
Rhiannon Sep 2016
"For a God that preaches love and tolerance, I cannot imagine that he would condemn a love that is true regardless of physical body".
I don't know who said this but it's just a brilliant quote.
152 · Jun 2016
Forgive.
Rhiannon Jun 2016
He's got a smirk for a smile,
And keeps himself in top form,
He'll ace any trial,
And fight his way through any storm.

His broad shoulders are mine,
To rest my head upon,
As he talks about the times,
We forgave each other's wrongs.
152 · Jan 2016
Tricks.
Rhiannon Jan 2016
Don't try to play tricks on love,
Love knows all the tricks of the trade,
The trading of people's hearts.
Love begins with the emotions,
Then the physical reactions start.
Love takes the lungs,
The smile upon your lips,
The tremor in your hand.

Love reaches the eyes,
It can cause people to despise.
People do fatal things,
In the name of love.
152 · Jan 2017
Green.
Rhiannon Jan 2017
Do not take the Earth for granted,
It's eroding as we speak.

We've polluted the air and pulled out the plants,
Yet, You wonder why the wind shrieks.
151 · Feb 2016
Tell me.
Rhiannon Feb 2016
Tell it was a lie,
The way your lips shut,
On the fourth of July.

The way your skin went cold,
And your laughter ceased,
Then my heartbeat and anxiety seemed to increase.

The way the weekend before,
We went to that shop,
And how I desperately wanted to see you before your heart stopped.

Tell me it's a lie,
Where I am now,
Because I've walked on cliff edges,
Hoping to jump,
Then hoped to drown when the waves get rough.
151 · Aug 2016
Rain.
Rhiannon Aug 2016
Dancing in the rain,
Clothes soaking wet.
Lungs inhale fresh air,
Talking to your silhouette.

You're freezing cold,
The rain has drenched your heart.
You imagine their subtle smile,
As you fall apart.
150 · Jun 2016
Feel.
Rhiannon Jun 2016
I cannot breathe.
My lungs have stopped working,
Because crippling aniexty is making me heave,
And I can feel depression smirking.
150 · Sep 2016
Pain.
Rhiannon Sep 2016
I can't be bothered with this anymore.
Too many people are in pain,
Most of my friends drowned before they found the shore,
And I'll never see them again.
149 · Aug 2016
I like you.
Rhiannon Aug 2016
I really really like you,
Like a heck of a lot!
So much so,
I think I've lost the plot.

When we hold hands,
And sit on the beach.
You're like my favourite song,
Constantly on repeat.
148 · Oct 2016
Lonely.
Rhiannon Oct 2016
It must be lonely.
I swear last time you moved,
You told me you were lonely then too.

No matter that you'd come home,
To snuggle in your bed with your love,
But that didn't matter,
It didn't help.

Because you were lonely.
148 · Jun 2016
Storm.
Rhiannon Jun 2016
Thunder and lightning is ever so frightening,
And there's a humid stence in the air,
So you toss and turn as your insides burn,
Because you told him you didn't care
147 · Feb 2016
Him.
Rhiannon Feb 2016
You regret the past,
But it will never last,
When you bruise her skin.

And I can foresee a war,
Like none before,
So Darlin' please don't let him in.
147 · May 2016
You are.
Rhiannon May 2016
And I tell you now you're perfect,
No matter what you do.
You can scream, punch and ignore me,
But I'll always love you.
146 · Dec 2016
Ripped.
Rhiannon Dec 2016
You ripped out my heart,
Leaving an open wound across my chest,
You didn't even stitch it up,
And it's become infected since you left.

Well, I knew alcohol was antiseptic,
So I bathed it in whisky and *****.
You left me when I was high of anxiety,
I didn't even get to say that I loved ya.
146 · Nov 2015
Old.
Rhiannon Nov 2015
There was far too little time,
For me to comprehend,
That your time in life,
Was nearly at an end.

Corrupted slowly,
I was always told,
That you would only die,
Once you were old.
Rhiannon May 2018
If I was given the entire universe,
Upon a silver platter,
Would you like a piece for yourself?
Would it even matter?

If you were given the warmth of the sun,
To defrost your frozen bones,
Would you share the sunlight with me?
Or keep it for you alone?

If I was told to vanish from existence,
Would you put up a fight?
Or would you cave in and agree?
To tired to use your might.

If you were given all the answers,
To life's endless questions,
Would you indulge me in the truth?
Or wouldn't you even mention?

If I was struggling day after day,
Would you feel the ache?
Or would you smile plastic and tight lipped?
As your mask starts to crumble and flake.

If you were given a chance to paint me,
Would you create beautiful art?
Or would you declare me a philitine?
Then drain all the colour from my heart.
143 · Oct 2018
Fantastical indifference.
Rhiannon Oct 2018
My invisble friends carved their names onto trees,
Then a sick feeling in my stomach lurches like the broken bark.
Overused names sit sticky in my throat,
When broken down fantasies are denied exsistence.

Courage builds up in my bones,
But brittle begging forbids it.
My heart heavy like brickwork,
Tries to pound it's way outside my chest.

Delicate musk coats my body,
Like an effort to impress you.
Rich waves of belonging attach to me,
But all I feel is rotten inside.

Misleading practices go on throughout the day,
The gentle humming in my brain switches to crying,
As hopelessness indulges my senses,
Please, There has to be more than this.
143 · Jan 2019
Mornings light.
Rhiannon Jan 2019
Have you seen this new beginning?
The one of golden sun.
Daffodils for all your friends,
lets go have some fun.
143 · May 2016
Morning.
Rhiannon May 2016
I awoke one morning,
And saw the sun was yawning,
So I decided to go back to bed.
141 · Oct 2021
Let it be.
Rhiannon Oct 2021
Let go of distorted energy,
Of something that doesn't give back,
Charge your way through false beginnings,
Shield raised ready for attack.

Walk away from old behaviours,
They don't serve you anymore,
Think and choose your battles wisely,
There doesn't have to be a war.

Embrace the chaos of creation,
Never again operate out of fear,
Because life has no destination,
So embrace it while you're still here.
140 · Jun 2016
God
Rhiannon Jun 2016
God
God give me the strength,
To survive this day.
Let my heart repent for the bad things I say,
Teach me to be humble,
And tell me that everything will be ok.

Guide me when I'm lost,
Make me appreciate the way I am.
Let me hold hands with my enemies,
And give me the courage to stand against my fears,

Comfort me,
Please wipe away my tears.
And I devote my every breath to you.
139 · Aug 2016
Listen.
Rhiannon Aug 2016
I tried to tell you I couldn't confide in you,
But you kept interrupting me.
I tried to tell you what I meant,
But you wouldn't let me speak.

I thought we'd gotten over this,
I thought you understood.
So you better start to listen soon,
Or I'll be gone for good.
138 · Feb 2016
Focus
Rhiannon Feb 2016
Just underneath the screaming,
Whispers gently caress your ears.
They tell you all the secrets,
The ones that are important,
Rather then the screaming ones,
Who tell you what your eager ears want to hear.

You want to hear the gossip,
Everything that appears.
Why are you so content on listening to the screaming?
When the whispers are the beautiful ones.
Shut your lips and focus on hearing,
Listen to the silence that sings exquisitely.
137 · Mar 2019
Judge me how you want to.
Rhiannon Mar 2019
I will not surrender,
To your judgemental eyes,
I've got a thousand people to meet,
Through stormy and clear skies.

Your vicious words mean nothing,
When there's just empty space to fill.
I've got love and I've got something,
You've got dust, nothing, nil.

Ignorant, this, that, whatever.
You know you're nothing fine.
When you've got your own insecurities,
How come you pick on mine?

Is common decency difficult?
Does it load air into your brain?
Congratulations *******!
You spout your **** again!
More people need to learn that it's easy to be kind.
133 · Jun 2016
Teeth.
Rhiannon Jun 2016
You snarled with sharp teeth,
And your wounds were bleeding through.
So you drowned yourself in alcohol,
Because that's all you knew.

But now the times are different,
And you want to start again,
So you try to make up for it,
With the ink from your pen.
My Father sends me Birthday cards every year, but I just rip them up.
132 · May 2018
Old mans domesticity
Rhiannon May 2018
Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
A bird feather on his hat,
and pipe smoke in the air.

His fake teeth so white,
Like some pearls from out at sea,
And his humour so silly,
He'd make a clown out of me.

Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
dog treats on the table,
And gel in his hair.

OCD plagues him,
so you cannot move his things,
Listening to an old vinyl,
Loading the dishwasher whilst he sings.
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