Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
A bird feather on his hat,
and pipe smoke in the air.

His fake teeth so white,
Like some pearls from out at sea,
And his humour so silly,
He'd make a clown out of me.

Sitting home alone,
In my Grandads old chair,
dog treats on the table,
And gel in his hair.

OCD plagues him,
so you cannot move his things,
Listening to an old vinyl,
Loading the dishwasher whilst he sings.

Dancing in the moonlight,
Singing a happy hymn.
I can't wait to show the world,
All the joy you bring.
Your smile brightens my darkest days,
Rays of sunlight erase the doubt,
Surely this is what life's all about?

When your hand accidentally brushes past mine,
That leaves my entire world in a twine,
As my eyes go wide and light up in surprise,
While a blush creeps up my cheeks.

I know I have nothing to fear as long as you're near,
because you'd wipe away all the tears,
That could stain my skin.
Making me want to sing,
In the moonlight,
A happy hymn.

I see a mountain between us,
I see the glare from your eyes,
I see the concept of forgiveness,
Worn on your smile as a disguise.

I see a land made of egg shells,
One step wrong and we all fall down,
I see the blood of a martyr,
Weeping from the crystals in your crown.

I'm not giving up on you,
That's the last thing I'm going to do,
And I've known you for far too long,
For this friendship to go wrong,
So please don't block me out.

I see the hunger of a vampire,
Feeding off of all my pain,
I see insanity in your eyes,
I see all the attention that you crave.

I feel the shape of your fingernails,
Sinking deep within my heart,
And I see the triumph in your features,
When I finally fall apart.

Stop freaking out,
People have to come to terms with these things.
One breath can calm you down,
Just breathe.
No one's restricting your windpipe.

Facing your demons is always hard,
Especially when it sits on your stomach as pounds of lard.
You try to resist your favourite treats,
But no you must admit defeat,
Those cookies aren't going to eat themselves.

And as you stroll through the supermarket,
On every shelf sits a wealth of desserts and treats,
All the ones that you want.

It would be a shame to say no, Right?
I mean my clothes aren't that tight,
And it's not as if I can't get off the floor.

But you act as if it's a chore,
To reach up to the tallest shelf and get more,
As you complain about the size of your stomach.

So when the skinny girls walk past you glare,
Because you're envious of the care they take of their bodies.
Well, That could've been you,
If you just resisted a little while longer.

I will not surrender,
To your judgemental eyes,
I've got a thousand people to meet,
Through stormy and clear skies.

Your vicious words mean nothing,
When there's just empty space to fill.
I've got love and I've got something,
You've got dust, nothing, nil.

Ignorant, this, that, whatever.
You know you're nothing fine.
When you've got your own insecurities,
How come you pick on mine?

Is common decency difficult?
Does it load air into your brain?
Congratulations *******!
You spout your **** again!

My invisble friends carved their names onto trees,
Then a sick feeling in my stomach lurches like the broken bark.
Overused names sit sticky in my throat,
When broken down fantasies are denied exsistence.

Courage builds up in my bones,
But brittle begging forbids it.
My heart heavy like brickwork,
Tries to pound it's way outside my chest.

Delicate musk coats my body,
Like an effort to impress you.
Rich waves of belonging attach to me,
But all I feel is rotten inside.

Misleading practices go on throughout the day,
The gentle humming in my brain switches to crying,
As hopelessness indulges my senses,
Please, There has to be more than this.

Should I even ask?
Is it that simple?
That everything you think.
Has been affected by people.
Sharp tongues slashing,
Wounds you can't see,
Because I'm absolutely terrified,
Of what people think of me.
Can you hear the screaming?
That's my heart,
All these suppressed emotions,
Are ripping me apart.

How do I respond,
To everything you say?
When you use your words to inflict harm,
Bully and manipulate.

Stumbling down the pavement,
Expressionless face.
Berate the hearts you know,
Mouth of sour taste.

They seem to condone your behaviour,
These people with smiling faces.
For they think that you're their saviour,
Yet you cannot tie your laces.

Holding hands in a single file,
Conforming to the norms,
And when someone breaks that cycle,
The earth reacts with a storm.

Listening to little lion man,
Half eaten bowl of Spaghetti to my right,
Half drunk mug of tea to my left.
I've waited five hours,
But you still haven't shown up.

You told me you'd be here at two,
But you forgot because you're scatterbrained.
I text you at four and asked if you were coming,
You said "yes", but I don't believe you.

Because I remember waiting up until two am,
But you never came home.
I'd get a brief text message that you're staying out,
Because you're always staying out.

I miss you, I always miss you.
I barely saw you for five years,
Then I got you for a few months,
But I took it for granted cause I'm a ******* idiot.

I miss you,
I've lost my appetite,
Just like you've lost interest.
But I still ******* miss you.

I feel I can't tell you things,
Because you'll get upset.
And everytime words spill out my mouth,
My heart fills with regret.

It would be simple and easy,
If you weren't so full of grief,
And you rant everything out,
But I'm not allowed to speak.

You say you're feeling ******,
And that's understandable,
But you might aswell be in a *****,
Because you haven't grown up at all.

You have served me well,
You have made me a better human,
You have made me a better me.

You corrected my wrongs,
Picked me up when I fell down,
You shunned people for laughing at me when I hit the ground.

You've comforted me with hugs,
Given me sweet kisses.
You've loved me and granted my wishes.

Although I've used you all my life,
For some good and some bad,
But it's always been honest it's never been a lie.

Then the one time I lied to you,
You wiped my tears away as I cried.

You've never caused me heartache because you've always been you,
I just hope you love me as much as I've always loved you.

Of course you're right.
Why wouldn't you be?
You've always been the smart one,
Out of us three.

It's a shame about the arrogance,
You'd be better without it.
It's not your fault,
The bad traits come from Dads side.

But lately you're making me panic.
It's always been about your pride,
And any time I question it,
You scream, Shout then start to cry,
And I just cant handle it.

You're damaged beyond belief.
I know that's not nice to say,
But I feel as if you use me,
To bully and lead astray.

I'll put up with it for now,
But one day I'll finally snap,
And then I will find my way out,
Of your demented and cruel trap.

With my bones I made a shield,
With my tongue I made a knife,
With my finger I made a prosecutor,
With my hand I made a friend.

But my heart I have yet to mend.

If I was given the entire universe,
Upon a silver platter,
Would you like a piece for yourself?
Would it even matter?

If you were given the warmth of the sun,
To defrost your frozen bones,
Would you share the sunlight with me?
Or keep it for you alone?

If I was told to vanish from existence,
Would you put up a fight?
Or would you cave in and agree?
To tired to use your might.

If you were given all the answers,
To life's endless questions,
Would you indulge me in the truth?
Or wouldn't you even mention?

If I was struggling day after day,
Would you feel the ache?
Or would you smile plastic and tight lipped?
As your mask starts to crumble and flake.

If you were given a chance to paint me,
Would you create beautiful art?
Or would you declare me a philitine?
Then drain all the colour from my heart.

I cannot breathe.
My lungs have stopped working,
Because crippling aniexty is making me heave,
And I can feel depression smirking.

Pray for your enemies,
Hold their hands,
Because their reasons for hurting you,
May be hard to understand.

But acceptance and forgiveness,
Will light you up and make you whole,
As love is the only real power,
That can cleanse a human soul.

A true survivor,
These rivers are deep.
"Beware of the sinking mud."
A sign covered and decayed with dust.
I'm up to the knees in troubles,
As the mud sinks into my pores.

This song we sing is dissonant,
It's harsh but it's the truth,
Our blundering amazes me,
As obvious as a missing tooth.

I thought our friendship fruitful,
Even on this barren land,
But you then said you were sick of me,
The opposite of what I'd planned.

What used to be harmonious,
A tune that we could both play,
Soon became too jarring,
I didn't know what to say.

I cry because it was beautiful,
A lovely sweet-sounding hum,
Now ruined by the clash of cymbals,
We can't undo what we've done.

Patiently waiting for you,
Time ticking by.
I can feel the sunlight,
Rays straight up my spine.
Caressing my neck,
Enlightening my eyes.

I don't understand,
How can I be eating a full meal,
And someone in another country be starving?
How can half this planet be obese?
And the other half strive to survive on a few grains of rice?
Where's the humanity?
Where's the sanity?
I want to go and help,
But  I am just too  young,
So when I am older and I'm bolder,
I am going to help.
I am going to strive with them,
Survive with them,
And maybe... Just maybe,
The world would be a fairer place.

She's always been beautiful,
Beautiful to the eyes.
But these poor boys have no idea,
What horrors lie inside.

Do not take the Earth for granted,
It's eroding as we speak.

We've polluted the air and pulled out the plants,
Yet, You wonder why the wind shrieks.

Alone, Alone.
She said it would be temporary,
As her heart swelled and bled.
Like a cold it will be horrible,
You'll loose sleep,
But it will only be temporary.
It can only be temporary,
Alone.........

It's the bizarre way you notice everything,
Like a spy you observe but you do not speak.
Someones insulted and someones complimented,
Still you do nothing except think.

It's the way you do not care for words,
Like too many are said in one day,
As if staying silent forever,
Will mute the hurtful things they say.

You hold your own reading your book,
Thinking you're rebellion is great,
And whilst you eat your lunch,
They knock your sandwich out your hands commenting about your weight.

But you just roll your eyes and carry on,
These idiots haven't got long left,
Within a year they'll be gone,
And then life will put them to the test.

And then from that very moment I knew.
These feelings weren't natural,
They were created and manipulated from your own self pity.
Debated about and figured out.
They have never been natural.

Have you seen this new beginning?
The one of golden sun.
Daffodils for all your friends,
lets go have some fun.

Dancing in the rain,
Clothes soaking wet.
Lungs inhale fresh air,
Talking to your silhouette.

You're freezing cold,
The rain has drenched your heart.
You imagine their subtle smile,
As you fall apart.

Friends is a term I tend to abuse,
Better bring out your dead,
This isn't old news.
With their slippery palms,
Finding a new heart,
To sink their nails into.

I really really like you,
Like a heck of a lot!
So much so,
I think I've lost the plot.

When we hold hands,
And sit on the beach.
You're like my favourite song,
Constantly on repeat.

I treated you nicely,
Bought you lovely things.
Like a brand new grand piano,
And a couple of diamond rings.

You told me that you liked me,
And everything was fine,
But then I found you kissing,
Their lips instead of mine.

You'd told me you were sorry,
Bought me some new flowers,
That's when I'd realised that money,
Was the reason you called this 'Ours'.

And I always found it funny,
Even from the start,
That no amount of money,
Could ever buy your heart.

It must be lonely.
I swear last time you moved,
You told me you were lonely then too.

No matter that you'd come home,
To snuggle in your bed with your love,
But that didn't matter,
It didn't help.

Because you were lonely.

You said you were "Fine."
But I don't think you understand what "Fine" means.
It insinuates that you're ok,
Erasing the voices in your head that make your brain decay,
Causing a mass of anomalies to appear in front of you.

You told me you were "Fine."
But I've seen your wrists and I don't think they cut themselves.
It was all far too cliche for you to admit,
The fact that you need help.

'Cause I don't wan't to wake up without you,
Your bright smile makes my day,
And your soft words are of virtue,
That chase all the monsters away.

You cannot leave me now,
We're in too deep,
Both stuck in mud,
As the negatives devour our feet.

The wind was cold and harsh against our skin,
But we didn't mind.
As we were saved and cleansed from sin,
Your glory and love was refined.

A mountain weight you took off your shoulders,
With just the brush of your hand,
And you trampled our demons with heavy boulders,
When they saw how tall you stand.

The sun was hot against my back,
As you encouraged me to carry on,
So when I helped my friends up you shielded me from attack,
Whilst singing a happy song.

"For a God that preaches love and tolerance, I cannot imagine that he would condemn a love that is true regardless of physical body".

Thunder and lightning is ever so frightening,
And there's a humid stence in the air,
So you toss and turn as your insides burn,
Because you told him you didn't care

He's got a smirk for a smile,
And keeps himself in top form,
He'll ace any trial,
And fight his way through any storm.

His broad shoulders are mine,
To rest my head upon,
As he talks about the times,
We forgave each other's wrongs.

You ripped out my heart,
Leaving an open wound across my chest,
You didn't even stitch it up,
And it's become infected since you left.

Well, I knew alcohol was antiseptic,
So I bathed it in whisky and *****.
You left me when I was high of anxiety,
I didn't even get to say that I loved ya.

If I tell you that I love you,
Would you run and hide?
Because I've said it in actions,
At least a hundred times.

The clocks ticking away seconds of my life,
So what do I do with this knife in my hand?
I don’t know whether this was planned,
Is my life contained in a can?

My liver is screaming for me to stop,
My skin is rough and of no good.
Everything here is misunderstood.

You have to learn!
That’s just the way it is!
Well, I'm sorry if I offend you,
But I couldn't give a **** anymore.

Forever the lone wolf in love.
You cannot change an independent woman's way of living,
But sometimes these walls I've built close in.
Crushing me under the weight,
The weight of my self-induced loneliness.

I can't be bothered with this anymore.
Too many people are in pain,
Most of my friends drowned before they found the shore,
And I'll never see them again.

Tell it was a lie,
The way your lips shut,
On the fourth of July.

The way your skin went cold,
And your laughter ceased,
Then my heartbeat and anxiety seemed to increase.

The way the weekend before,
We went to that shop,
And how I desperately wanted to see you before your heart stopped.

Tell me it's a lie,
Where I am now,
Because I've walked on cliff edges,
Hoping to jump,
Then hoped to drown when the waves get rough.

I awoke one morning,
And saw the sun was yawning,
So I decided to go back to bed.

There was far too little time,
For me to comprehend,
That your time in life,
Was nearly at an end.

Corrupted slowly,
I was always told,
That you would only die,
Once you were old.

Don't try to play tricks on love,
Love knows all the tricks of the trade,
The trading of people's hearts.
Love begins with the emotions,
Then the physical reactions start.
Love takes the lungs,
The smile upon your lips,
The tremor in your hand.

Love reaches the eyes,
It can cause people to despise.
People do fatal things,
In the name of love.

You regret the past,
But it will never last,
When you bruise her skin.

And I can foresee a war,
Like none before,
So Darlin' please don't let him in.

And I tell you now you're perfect,
No matter what you do.
You can scream, punch and ignore me,
But I'll always love you.