I treated you nicely,
Bought you lovely things.
Like a brand new grand piano,
And a couple of diamond rings.

You told me that you liked me,
And everything was fine,
But then I found you kissing,
Their lips instead of mine.

You'd told me you were sorry,
Bought me some new flowers,
That's when I'd realised that money,
Was the reason you called this 'Ours'.

And I always found it funny,
Even from the start,
That no amount of money,
Could ever buy your heart.

Are you trying to make me ill?
Because this is a recipe for disaster,
When I can plaster on a smile at will,
Is it understanding that you're after?

You comment on my weight,
But you cannot control my way of being.
Yet, my lungs still deflate,
And the the blood from my heart starts weeping.

Perhaps we were to switch places,
You were I and I were you,
Then maybe you'd understand all the faces,
I have to wear in front of you.

I just feel numb.
Which is strange for me,
Because usually I'm buzzing off caffeine,
By at least half past three.

It's like the world has come to a stop.
No longer revolving round,
And everyone's just given up.
Abandoned this tiny town.

You told me that you liked me,
Then went on to snarl behind my back,
And I never thought you would Strike me,
Until the knife was deep in my back.

Maybe I'm just tired?
I'll take a nap and be ok,
But I just can't forget the words,
You didn't even hesitate to say.

So as I lay here on my sofa sulking,
There's a war playing on in my mind,
Because on all of your words I'm choking,
As you think they're how I'm defined.

"I never meant to hurt him."
They swear upon their strife,
But they never showed him kindness,
Until he took his own life.

"We were only joking."
They exclaim with worried faces,
But I didn't see him laughing,
When you bruised him in secret places.

"We never knew he felt that way."
That's because you didn't care,
You called him Vile names,
As you spat and pulled his hair.

"We would've stopped if we'd known."
You should've stopped anyway,
Surely the whole ******* world knows,
That bullying is not ok.

The wind was cold and harsh against our skin,
But we didn't mind.
As we were saved and cleansed from sin,
Your glory and love was refined.

A mountain weight you took off your shoulders,
With just the brush of your hand,
And you trampled our demons with heavy boulders,
When they saw how tall you stand.

The sun was hot against my back,
As you encouraged me to carry on,
So when I helped my friends up you shielded me from attack,
Whilst singing a happy song.

I see humans but no humanity.
You tell me you're sane but where is your sanity?
Using people as you shout profanities,
Is this how the world's going to end?

We didn't have to be around each other all the time,
Because our souls were completely intertwined.

If we were an artist our picture would be ridiculously refined,
To the point where we would hate it because it wouldn't have any human fault.

Then everything would start to taste of salt because we were used to it so sweet.
Ridiculously sweet so it would rot our teeth.

So then we'd have to put fake ones in,
Then we'd become thin because we couldn't eat properly.

And then we'd play Monopoly but we wouldn't understand the rules so we'd play it wrong.

Your tongue is like a knife,
Cutting at my skin.
So how do they expect me to defend myself?
When the blade is sinking in.

I can't be bothered with this anymore.
Too many people are in pain,
Most of my friends drowned before they found the shore,
And I'll never see them again.

"For a God that preaches love and tolerance, I cannot imagine that he would condemn a love that is true regardless of physical body".

If I tell you that I love you,
Would you run and hide?
Because I've said it in actions,
At least a hundred times.

You've got another life growing inside of you,
Two hearts in the same body,
Different rhythm and beat,
So really you're eating for two,
And you've got four feet.

Then supposedly you have ten toes,
Which means you have twenty,
And sixteen fingers,
Four thumbs,
And going to the loo must be strange,
Considering you've got two bums.

We danced in my kitchen one winter evening,
Moving in strange timings which didn’t quite go with the song,
But I remember that wide grin on your face glowing,
As you spun round and round.

The hot tea we had made was going cold,
But we didn’t care,
Because we just snuggled under blankets,
And our love was all the warmth we needed.

I’ve never been good with feelings,
But then neither have you.
Especially when you’ve got a mother,
Who criticises everything you do.

Tears seem to stream,
Whenever she’s involved,
It seems neither of my parents want me,
And I’ve never felt so unloved.

I don't want to be famous,
Or even well known.
I just want to be snuggled up in bed,
With a cup of tea, A book and my phone.

I really really like you,
Like a heck of a lot!
So much so,
I think I've lost the plot.

When we hold hands,
And sit on the beach.
You're like my favourite song,
Constantly on repeat.

Stumbling down the pavement,
Expressionless face.
Berate the hearts you know,
Mouth of sour taste.

They seem to condone your behaviour,
These people with smiling faces.
For they think that you're their saviour,
Yet you cannot tie your laces.

Holding hands in a single file,
Conforming to the norms,
And when someone breaks that cycle,
The earth reacts with a storm.

These shackles you have me bound in,
Are rubbing against my skin.
The irritation they are causing,
Reality is setting in.

Never had I thought,
You'd leave me here to die.
Over lust and bad intentions,
Like you never heard my cries.

Dancing in the rain,
Clothes soaking wet.
Lungs inhale fresh air,
Talking to your silhouette.

You're freezing cold,
The rain has drenched your heart.
You imagine their subtle smile,
As you fall apart.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
His car of blue now smells of smoke,
His lungs are black and coughs are chokes.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
Has no family so he works all the time,
And he always looks knackered but he says he's fine.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
He finally got a promotion for working so hard,
Too bad it was made up of cigarettes and cards.

He just sits there day after day,
A pensive expression and an ash tray.
As he takes his final puff and teeth decay,
He just sits there day after day.

I tried to tell you I couldn't confide in you,
But you kept interrupting me.
I tried to tell you what I meant,
But you wouldn't let me speak.

I thought we'd gotten over this,
I thought you understood.
So you better start to listen soon,
Or I'll be gone for good.

How can you love me?
When I look like this.
I've got spots on my body,
And stretch marks on my hips.

How can you find me attractive?
When my stomach sticks out.
I haven't got a thigh gap,
And I don't know how to pout.

What do you find so compelling?
There's nothing much here.
I'm just a tired brain,
Suffocated in fear.

I feel I can't tell you things,
Because you'll get upset.
And everytime words spill out my mouth,
My heart fills with regret.

It would be simple and easy,
If you weren't so full of grief,
And you rant everything out,
But I'm not allowed to speak.

You say you're feeling ******,
And that's understandable,
But you might aswell be in a *****,
Because you haven't grown up at all.

I live in a humble seaside town.
There's nothing much to do here,
Unless you want to drown.

The sea air is refreshing,
You know everyone around,
Mutual friends and distant relatives are always here to be found.

City people come down to enjoy the beach.
Scoffing on ice cream,
And hearing the seagulls screech.

Jumping into the sea on a hot summer's day,
Getting sunburnt on their backs,
From the suncream they forgot again.

I live in a small seaside town,
There's nothing much to do here,
Except a few arcades around.

The sea air is refreshing,
Especially in the rain,
When you can walk and think for yourself without people driving you insane.

City people come down to enjoy the beach,
Talking obnoxiously loud,
Throwing chips at seagulls for a bit of peace.

Jumping into the sea on a hot summer's day,
As the local people mope around,
Wishing they'd go away.

Busy yourself with writing,
Poetry, Music, whatever.
Smother yourself with the enlightening vision,
Of two people being together.

Stifle yourself with feelings,
And never let them know.
That the sea you're swimming in is freezing,
And they're the undertow.

I can't seem to write poems anymore,
Even though I'm up at 4 AM,
Notepad ready and ballpoint pen.

But nothing seems to spring to mind,
Except for the thought that I'm wasting my time.

I can't seem to write poems anymore,
My creativity has been forgotten and my mind sore.

But nothing seems to be working,
And everyday I find,
The most horrible and degrading thoughts,
Lurking in my mind.

Who is "You?"
Who could "You" be?
Could "You" be a loved one?
Could "You" be me?

What is the purpose of "You?"
Are they intertwined and underlined in everything "You" do?
I mean obviously it's down to chance,
Coincidence and circumstance,
But what does "You" mean?

They arrive pristine only to please themselves.
Is "You" in good health?
I haven't said,
But now "You" is in your head,
Just like they were in mine before.

It's three in the morning,
And I'm sat up in bed.
My head constantly repeating,
All the things you said.

I never thought,
That it would be you.
The one to judge and scrutinize,
Everything I do.

I never tell you things,
Because secrets you cannot keep,
And if you were an ocean,
I'd be drowning deep.

You see love and I have never really been friends,
I mean we'd wave awkwardly to eachother,
Through mutual pretence,
But that's about it.

We'd make awkward eye contact on the train,
Then ignore eachothers existence,
As if it was simple and plain,
But nothing more than that.

To be honest with you,
Love and I barely know eachother,
Well I mean I think I know a few of their lovers,
But nobody that's stuck around for long enough.

And the problem with love,
Is when you go to shake their hand,
You've got everything you want to say planned,
But it all falls down and shatters at your feet.

Just like everytime,
My heart skips a beat,
Whenever my eyes are left in your wake.

How do I respond,
To everything you say?
When you use your words to inflict harm,
Bully and manipulate.

It's far too hot.
I've opened the window,
But it hasn't helped much.

I can feel the cold breeze,
But nothing seems to be working.

A book in my hand,
Trying to distract myself,
No not from the heat,
But from your absence.

I was annoyed.
No not annoyed at you,
I was angry and frustrated,
At all the things you do.

Your ignorance towards feelings,
Oblivious to the fact,
That you and you alone,
Are an absolute ****.

No one gets it.
No one understands,
That even though I yelled at you,
I just wanted to hold your hand.

I see a mountain between us,
I see the glare from your eyes,
I see the concept of forgiveness,
Worn on your smile as a disguise.

I see a land made of egg shells,
One step wrong and we all fall down,
I see the blood of a martyr,
Weeping from the crystals in your crown.

I'm not giving up on you,
That's the last thing I'm going to do,
And I've known you for far too long,
For this friendship to go wrong,
So please don't block me out.

I see the hunger of a vampire,
Feeding off of all my pain,
I see insanity in your eyes,
I see all the attention that you crave.

I feel the shape of your fingernails,
Sinking deep within my heart,
And I see the triumph in your features,
When I finally fall apart.

Thunder and lightning is ever so frightening,
And there's a humid stence in the air,
So you toss and turn as your insides burn,
Because you told him you didn't care

I saw your hand in her hand,
And on that day I knew,
I could never confess my feelings,
As my eyes spilled tears of blue.

We weep with you,
And so does the land,
A cross clutched desperately between somebody's hands.
May the grace of God guide them,
And the love of friends keep them warm,
May the angels in heaven sing to them,
May their loved ones be allowed to mourn,
May they be happy wherever they are,
May they be the shining stars.
And the light of a candle.

And we pray for them,
And we remember them,
And we accept them.
And we pray

And then you bought me flowers,
So everything was fine,
I thought about you for hours,
Couldn't get you off my mind.

Imagine we were lovers,
Just me and you,
Would we snuggle under covers,
Like most sweethearts do?

He's got a smirk for a smile,
And keeps himself in top form,
He'll ace any trial,
And fight his way through any storm.

His broad shoulders are mine,
To rest my head upon,
As he talks about the times,
We forgave each other's wrongs.

When you dance around the room,
No worry in your eyes,
I can feel the doom,
That's society's going to revive.

We do not fit it,
I know that very well,
But who said I wanted to?
Your ideals can go to hell.

I know loads of smiling faces,
In many distant places,
But when people ask me to think of them,
I can only think of you.

God give me the strength,
To survive this day.
Let my heart repent for the bad things I say,
Teach me to be humble,
And tell me that everything will be ok.

Guide me when I'm lost,
Make me appreciate the way I am.
Let me hold hands with my enemies,
And give me the courage to stand against my fears,

Comfort me,
Please wipe away my tears.
And I devote my every breath to you.

I can hear the thunder,
And I swear it's true,
That out of the whole entire nation,
I'll always choose you.

I cannot breathe.
My lungs have stopped working,
Because crippling aniexty is making me heave,
And I can feel depression smirking.

And I didn't write my essays,
And all my assignments are overdue,
And my Mothers a trainwreck,
And my Sisters are too.

And my Father doesn't care,
And Grandmothers carrying grief,
And my heart hurts beyond repair,
With all the rubble underneath.

And I didn't write my essays,
And all my assignments are overdue,
And all my Friends think I'm happy,
But all my Friends are trainwrecks too.

And I didn't write my essays,
And all my assignments are overdue,
And I'm too much of a coward to **** myself,
So I guess numbness will have to do.

Imagine if I were a cat and you were a rat,
You'd be frightened of me.
I'd chase you round the whole house,
And **** you eventually.

But lets just say,
This is the way it is normally.
Only you're the cat and I'm the rat,
And you're terrifying, See?

You play with my emotions,
Let me think I am free,
But then you come back again,
And take a chunk out of me.

Facing your demons is always hard,
Especially when it sits on your stomach as pounds of lard.
You try to resist your favourite treats,
But no you must admit defeat,
Those cookies aren't going to eat themselves.

And as you stroll through the supermarket,
On every shelf sits a wealth of desserts and treats,
All the ones that you want.

It would be a shame to say no, Right?
I mean my clothes aren't that tight,
And it's not as if I can't get off the floor.

But you act as if it's a chore,
To reach up to the tallest shelf and get more,
As you complain about the size of your stomach.

So when the skinny girls walk past you glare,
Because you're envious of the care they take of their bodies.
Well, That could've been you,
If you just resisted a little while longer.

My mind used to be a beautiful place,
One where you could go,
And sit upon the green hill,
With grass tickling your toes.

In winter you could sit inside a warm cabin,
Away from all the snow.
You could have hot chocolate and marshmallows,
A place where only love grows.

But now the cabin has been vandalised,
Windows smashed and rocks thrown,
And the grass has died into soil,
Leaving mud stains on your clothes.

This place of beauty that once belonged,
Has been deserted and dried up,
And all the birds sing sad songs,
About how the earth had had enough.