I remember not looking for a place, but a home.
A home in which i wouldnt live in, but feel alive.
If we can say as such im much more the interior architect at heart.
I see the foundation for what it is and if it needs it, i fortify it by all means necessary.
You are my home and im in love with your walls.
You allowed me to cross the threshold of your hearts door….understood that the previous tenants once had keys but youve changed the locks every time they stopped moving you.
I understood that you let your lawn grow freely cause you never thought id pay a visit; ill always look through and into the shattered windows to your soul and ignite your sides with roses.
I remember after i saw the foundation, all of my attention went to the roof; the most imporant part of the home, your dome where everything roams:
The squirrel who only wants a nut.
The flowers you give yourself.
The light as well as the darkness you let in.
How you feel so immensely yet you couldnt help any of it at the time.
Its fine. So i grab my toolbox, park my car and live in within you as i rebuild you.
A haunting.
These walls talk.
I am not frightened. Im grounded in my own spirituality that i can light my blunts with self immolated monks and still kick funk for the **** of it; im enlightened and delighted to work in you with you.
Now….ive cut myself on shattered glass.
Ive fallen through your floors.
I couldnt get doors to open and wouldnt close the ones that kept opening.
I smile and do my work.
I encouraged the dinners by candle or lantern light, just to show you how beautiful you truly are in the darkest and loneliest of times.
I slept on your floors while the ressurection of your heartbeat gave me reassurance that you found out you werent alone.
To me you were an apparition i wanted to know and give peace, to you i was the uninvited looking for thrills.
We saw one another and the possessions again.
Your walls…..neon majin buu vice grips with lips i love to kiss.
Your walls and eternal hallway of life id give my own to live in.
Your walls where we will ultimately hang up family potraits we are creating right now.
I am proud to say i live here now, within and with you.
I see old tenants saying how beautiful you look…..asking about how much work i put in…..how much they missed the memories they had with and within you….wondering if their key still works.
The thing is…..i never got a key and wouldn’t need one.

And although you changed all the locks, you let me in for an eternity.

You stole my attention.
The only justice i seek now is that i do right by you with good intentions.
A lesson learnes for a lifetime like im doing 25- life in detention.
Everything around me is suspended, my feet arent touching the ground, so if at times im not walking the straight path, i genuinely missed it.
Missing my misses like not even attempting, youre tempting to the aesthetics of you, baptizing myself in you, dripping.
Now i ask i for forgiviness, the pain coming in pinches, as you cuming and gripping you say dont worry, cause you knew that i meant it which promotes the drippin. incantations of our love whispered in different languages. flesh ripping. I imprint it.
Even when im not there. ghostly. im not like those other ******, baby im not ya figment.
Like a thief in the night, ill take anything but you for granted. Im that ***** that will bench press the planets. You trusting my ever word because you can see it; if you were blind i could literally tell you whats in front of you and with no hesitation, such gracious greatness and no reaistance youll paint it on the canvas.
Knowing every color off the feel and stroke ive given you and the placement.
So you stole the only card i was dealt with in this life just to give me the only card you was dealt in life: the heart of gold.

i will bury my hands in your soil because its here i intend to root; not afraid of the dirt but i come here to bathe you in light and caress the blooms.
i will sit in silence with you understanding the mind can be loud and chaotic like a summer night in Harlem. its my position to make you feel like New Orleans on a warm spring sunsets eve, under my favorite peach tree.
i sense the waves in which i too want to be freed so i can drown in the harmonic life it offers. you are the fruit of heaven with 8000 pulp like nerve endings and juices that can only be conjured by the one who is rooted in your soil.
so i follow you like rivers, love.

I will die within you.
Ive died many of times; using my blood to write what i find to be beautiful and tonight may be the day i dig my own grave, this is nothing more than a premature burial.
Just make sure to leave an orchid on my tombstone and watch me produce a few feilds more; blooming and dancing in the wind not losing its petals like im losing ink and pages in a sacrificial sense.
I will continue to crucify an art ive adapted into to see you smile, light, grow and live again.
I dont feel the pressure of the world any longer til i understood someone who could be my universe, walks on its face.
Maybe im already crystalized. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but ive never heard of idled eyes.
Ive seen you levitate mountains with the power of your voice.
Ive seen you freeze the oceans with your gazes.
Ive seen you move planets with your emotions.
Ive seen you make wildlife stop and stare as you bathe in a lake.
Ive seen you bachata within the belly of Hell.
And they still say theres no such thing as a goddess; still **** up with your hologram.
Im just an alien, crash landing, going to war for my newfound planet, i call home.
Bury me in amber: fossilized resin from ancient floral forests, youve been here before, tell me about yourself, the first man, woman, the dopamine, the serotonin, the endorphins.
Was Egypt as beautiful as they illustrate, did you live there and feel in place, if so, why did you let Cleopatra reign…..or was that you too?

- Beau

I remember when we planted the seeds to watch our love grow; how we paid attention to every detail and spent night and day harnessing and encouraging everything it was rooted in.
Polar opposites attracting and unifying reminded me of a rose growing from concrete and if you love what your seeing don't remove it from the foundations from which it came; just admire how it was made and how it continues to be present.

- Beau

You stare at me with compassion.
You touch me with adventure.
We talk as if we created language.
And when I'm 3000 miles away you tell me you feel me breathing and my heart beat inside of your body.
I feel your imprint in my bed and hear your voice in my deepest of sleeps.
We are going through the withdrawals of the possessions of mind, body and soul yet we aren't possessive; territorial with free spirits of nature running wild.

- Beau

Whats fear?
Me feeling your hand in my hand,
Hearing footsteps comming up the stairs,
The relaxation of drifting asleep to your heartbeat and breath,
Just to give birth to my vision, looking in your eyes and seeing the glazed glare,
The songs i hear you sing in the shower,
The scent of you and how it lingers for hours,
How i suddenly miss a flannel,
How when i leave the television and come back, it's on your favorite channel,
How i see your shillloutes on my wall and hear your whispers in my ear,
Fear is all of this occuring but comming to the realization that you arent here. Losing you is what i fear.

- Beau

Pain is essential to growth and honestly that fact is overlooked by most, in the moment it occurs even when I paint these words at their expense of feeling the worst.
For example; your favorite flower in your favorite color. Being separated from its siblings and mother; in utero destined for the same fate. I know,
It's deep dark ***** depression and its eternal suppression, that's why when I make a pick, I see it for its roots.....
Attitude is equivalent to fragrance and I can tell when **** been eating away at you, yet your petals I still caress,
And overall it's how you still put up with these rainy days and grow that has me impressed, natures empress, compressed and running marathons in my cerebral cortex, may you never be vexed.

- Beau

I let my flesh bathe in the calm newborn sun rays,
While I listen to the gossiping topics presented to me by the waves, consumed.
Outside looking in, I'm just a naked man standing aimlessly in natures womb yet,
Through my eyes, I'm standing on a million acres of emerald dust, with my skin reflecting the surface of the Sun, my eyes incarcerating nebulas watching diamonds dancing in all sorts of blue.
And then there's this crown growing out of my skull....lovely.
Welcome to the land of a thousand drums residing in my chest,
Roaring with the cascades of energy my soul has possessed many of lifetimes before I became its host.
Welcome to the mind of primal instinct, where its shrouded by the freeform jungle like crown spawning out my my skull.
Welcome to the love I've had pleasures and pains of watching; wrong but felt right & right but felt wrong......
- Beau