I pull the late shift at the business known as unemployment.
It doesn't pay well, but I sure do enjoy it.
Because while I may be broke it gives me time to let my words flow.
And it gives me the chance to go on my late night adventures.
And right now that's all I need from life.

I don't mind being forgotten.
In fact I've grown so used to it I do it myself.
I no longer remember the touch of any past lover.
And I'm happy with that.
I'm glad that I was finally able to shut that door to my past.

But today I walked in my room and on an impulse I guess.
I walked over to the little nightstand beside my bed.
I opened that top drawer and pushed the clutter out of the way.
And carefully I took out the little orange and white origami flower ball that was so carefully made just for me all those years ago.
And I smile.
And I put it back.
That's enough memories for one day.

I feel like I'm staring down at myself.
Locked outside of my own mind.
Its almost painful to watch this poor boy stumbling over his words.
Like he's not used to the sound of his own voice.
And I want to help him, but I can't find my keys.

You accepted me.
Despite all my faults, my young rage, my corruption, my demons.
You accepted me.
But more than that you still desired me.
And I don't know exactly how this will all work out.
But I'm done over-thinking it.

I think I rediscovered sleep.
It's an odd sensation.
I think I like it though.
I guess getting out of those hills was all I needed.
And although I didn't run very far.
I never want to go back.
In fact I want to see just how far I can run.

I'm done burying myself.
I've been done for awhile now.
Now i'm just sitting on the ground on my busted up coffin.
And I wonder how much higher I can go.

Because why not.
No where to be.
No one to please.
Except for me.

And her I guess.
The girl of summer back for more.
I don't know if I can be who she wants.
Hell I wasn't really before.

I'll tell you what I won't do.
I won't over-think.
In fact I might just let the passion overwhelm me.
Because why run from something.

When I can just regret it in the morning.

Now I sit in my room surrounded by darkness and silence.
But for once I think I would rather be somewhere else.

I would rather be with you wrapped in each others arms as you doze on my chest.
I want to sit there with you as you frantically put on lipstick.
Because my mouth made yours turn purple.
I want to sit on your couch and watch silly movies and listen to your laugh.
I Love my dark corner it helps me to think and prepare for my next adventure.

But you my darling are beginning to overtake my thoughts even now.
Still I don't want to rush this because that is not how my heart works.
Still I can't help but wonder what it would take.
To make your body intertwine with mine.

Your arrogance has nearly burned every good bridge you own.
Their charred skeletons reek of *** smoke and betrayal.
Yet for some reason I'm still here.
But for how long.

You think I'm making this up.
Do you think that the demons are a lie I fabricated to impress you?
Don't make me laugh.
They've always been there now they're just coming out my fingers.
Why do you think I kissed your scars.
Because they match up with mine though I guess you can't see them.
I keep them in the back of my mind because they're no ones business but mine.
I never went in depth on the boy whose Mom would work late and whose Dad would drink all night.
Because I don't want your pity or understanding I can handle myself.
You once told me you don't feel.
Well I feel too much and I can't count the number of times that weight has crushed me.
I'm not changing who I am but the voices in my head needed to talk it out.
So thank you for giving me this.

I've been almost, I've been so close.
But I'm not done yet.
Not until I wake up for a California sunrise.
Not until a plane ride to a land where everything is new to me.
Not until I stand on top of lady liberty and look out at the city.
Not until a ****** burger king lunch with a friend who won't remember me.
Not until I dance with the girl who doesn't think we'll meet.
Not until I prove to myself that the words I write can feed me.
No only when I can look back and smile at what I leave behind.
Will I accept my own defeat.

I'll admit that hurt.
But hey I've been hit harder than that and if you think I'm gonna back down.
Then let me reintroduce myself.
I'm the guy who would drop everything just because you needed some one to talk to.
I'm the guy who held you as you burst randomly into tears.
I'm the guy who kicked himself every day for not noticing you sooner.
And I'm the guy who is willing to put these feelings aside in public to be friends with you because I don't want to lose you.
You may not write about me, but nearly all these poems are for you.

I'm once again a jobless teenage waste of space.
And I can't help but laugh when I'm told to wipe the smile from my face.
Because I flexed my chains and they broke like it was nothing.
And I laugh because this confidence you gave me was really good for something.

Turn the volume up for every song.

Shout out the names of everything and everyone you love.

Soak in the noise while it lasts, because it may not be there tomorrow.

I used to write for Love
Then I wrote for me
Now I write because I need everyone to see

I dug a plot from the corners of my mind and made a word to shape
I filled it with names I used to know of people I used to see
I created life on paper so I could build myself a new one

This is how I'll run away
And with only 37000 words to go
My dreams get closer everyday

You were always there.
When no one else cared you were there.
Before I knew her you were there.
When I was broken down you pick me up.
And I did the same for you.
Thank you for being there.

We could be those runaway kids you see on milk cartons.
Leave this town flee to somewhere warmer.
Where the grass grows green and wild and the people accept us.
But she acts like I'm joking.
And I know she would rather stay in this little town with a little family.
And live a happy stable long life.
But I've already seen too much this world has to offer.
And I don't think I can be happy with that little bit.

But that is a poem for another day.
Because today I'm still here and so is she.
And today I like to think with a little convincing she could be.
My little Runaway.

I should start this off by saying this isn't a poem, but I figured f you guys follow me for my poetry you may be interested in the book I wrote. You can find it here http://www.blurb.com/ebooks/547502-the-new-breed and on apple bookstore in a few days. Even if you don't want to buy it I would greatly appreciate if you could share this around. Much Love to all.

I can still taste the alcohol on my tongue.
I can still feel the adrenaline from that run from the cops.
My mind is still lost amiss my drunken words.
But at least I'm still alive.
This is not who I am.
This is not what I chose to be.
But just for tonight, just leave me be.

She comes ever closer to me.
It seems like everyday I'm gripped tighter and tighter by her Love.
And I don't mind at all.
In fact the closer she gets the happier I've been starting to become.

But still closer the day comes when I leave this town behind.
I tell her that I'll come back to see her, that we can make this work.
But sometimes I wonder if the girl I once wrote to was right.

So as she grips tighter I brace myself.
Because I know first hand.
The tighter you grip the harder it is to let go.

This is why I said no more love poems.
To be honest I don't know what I expected.
Maybe just for something different.
Or maybe something that made me feel a little more.
I guess knew this would happen I'm mean a senior and a sophomore.
Right people wrong time.
It seems to be a reoccurring theme for me.
Maybe I should just **** around again and let myself be free.
But then at the same time you actually meant something to me.
Even though I don't know what it was.
Doesn't matter now though I guess.
Because I refuse to let myself become a mess.
I feel like I've already grown from this.
I just hope I haven't grown too cold from this.
Though at the center I know its still me.
Maybe that's what I need.
Someone who thinks more like me.
This is why I said no more love poems.

Rain drops bounce off my roof breaking my usual silence.
Its nights like these as I breathe in the muggy summer air that I wonder.
Why am I meant for?
To write?
To entertain?
To teach?
To help?
Then I remind myself that it doesn't matter why I'm here.
Because when it comes down to it in reality I have only minute.
So I might as well enjoy the time I have.
**Right?

Don't get me wrong I love to drive.
Cruising down the road with Green Day or Panic! at the Disco blasting through my speakers.

But I require fresh air, perhaps more so than most.
I need dirt and dust to cake my sneakers and feet.
And perhaps the strangest part is I need to smell.
I need to smell the river water and the dead leaves of the forest.
I need to smell the tang of the ocean and sweetness of the strawberry fields.
But mostly I need to stand in a meadow right after it rains.
Because that is the closest thing that has ever come to smelling like you.

It seems this story likes to see me fail.
Sometimes I wish I could skip ahead to see where this all ends.
But over thinking is what got me here.
And I have no problem letting the unknown take me over.

Our worlds don't mix.
Our friendship is loosely based on inside jokes and teasing insults.
But that's all we'll ever have.
I'm sorry if you expected more.

Peace is uncommon to me.
Its a commodity I rarely had growing up.
But its all I feel now.
I always thought peace meant standing still.
But it isn't because I'm in constant motion.
I've learned that peace at least for me.
Is being able to forgive my past, but also move on.
And be excited for my future, but not stress myself on the details.
For me peace and happiness are one in the same.
And right now your smile is what brings me peace.

Second place is where I make my home.
And sometimes I think "Maybe I could win?"
If only I was a little stronger.
If only I was a little smarter.
If only I was a little braver.
If only I was a little less me.

Darling does it hurt you to know how low our chances are?
Do you regret saying yes when I asked you to be with me?
Are you ashamed of all the Love you have shown to me?
If it does hurt don't worry because if we break it was meant to be.
My only prayer is that you can forget me.

Its as much a part of me as razor blades are to you.
Though I don't try to stay away because I'm not hurt by the burn.
For me its my escape my window to somewhere where its not quite so cold.
Maybe that's why I carry my matches with me just in case I need to.
**Escape

If I were to describe myself.
I would say I'm a night person.
There is something about the hours after the sun goes down and the stars come out.
That gives me peace of mind.
That things may not always seem so bright.
But that doesn't mean they are without beauty.

My head hurts from the stress of the every day.
The mundane gets to me the passing of time waiting for something.
Anything.
But nothing comes.
That's when I remember.
If you want something to catch on fire.
Its best to add gasoline .

I once had goals.
Now they're bigger.
But these goals of mine offer only one thing to those I care about.
Pain.
But if I don't make my own path I would bring myself the same.

Forgive me for my selfishness.

If my life ceases to burn its wick in the year to come, I have two desires.
One that my body be burned and used to plant an apple tree.
So anyone who disliked me in life can still bite me.
And secondly that I be remembered not by my bad deeds nor my good.
But simply remembered...

Here I stand with both friend and foe.
Both those who ridiculed me for my preference of solitariness.
And those who stood by me when I needed them.
We all stood on that stage as we were handed what we worked so hard for.
A piece of paper that merely says congratulations on graduating.


Some cried, some danced, some just were too overwhelmed to even speak.
But not me.
I wasn't excited or overjoyed.
I was numb to this experience.
Not because I'm not relieved its over.
I suppose this was never truly important to me.

And that is okay.
Because now I know what is important.