these words that beat from my heart
that go up in rush
and break when they hit my teeth
its cause of you...
i dont know how to...
talk.

its  not cause your beautiful
but you know you are
and its not cause of your smile
but you know you have a great one

its cause of your eyes
i dont how to...
get through the judgmentel look
you permently have

now my words are used for me
to build my confidence
and tell you how what i want to do
but my words
that fill my blood
and leak out like a waterfall
dont mean a thing
cause i am back from were i started

from my heart to my mouth and your ears
you'll never understand these words...
so i just smile...
and leave...

Goodbye now
Goodbye now

The grey clouds cover the city
The streets seem empty
Yellow leaves have fallen in mid September
You drove away
In midst it all  
With a smile and wave
I’ll miss you

its summer now
i dont know,what to say
neither do i know the day
erasing my mind  everyday
like a bad drawing
down my lungs
and out my lips
in through  my eyes
in my brain
the clouds dance
and tell  me to sink into the grass
i cant stand
i wont walk
ill actually go crazy....
you dont understand
no...
she dips her legs in the pool behind her house
and i walk in the water up to my knees
in this pond surrounded by trees
with rocks under my feet
i feel the waves in my bones
true peace,rests  in my mind

Delight is a girl, with brown hair and curvy raspberry lips,blue eyes and a crooked smile.She had one tooth that was pushed in on the side of her mouth, but it just added to her smile.Frail fingers and bitten nails,she was quite short but with long legs,and a button nose.She liked listening to music as she filled her room with smoke and dreaming. She was 24 and lived in a wooden house in europe near a lake.

Noel was boy, with black hair and and a small prickly beard growing on his face. he has brown eyes and light skin. His teeth are white but a bit yellow. big hands and bitten nails she was quite tall with big feet, or maybe its just his shoes. he was a tattoo of a balloon on his index finger he says"it means that i will always float on with my life." he likes writing poetry as he drank wine and smoked. He was 23 and lived not far  from Delight  and always biked everywere he went to.

Delight and Noel are friends since  his was 12 and she was 13. they sat near a lake and the water glimmered with the green trees lingering above the world.  eating sandwich's that he made. They talked...

Delight- so hows that one girl?

Noel-She left...

Delight-...how sad...

Noel- sure it is....Hows that one boy?

Delight- He left also, found a girl with a better body figure.

Noel-****! i never liked him since i first saw him.

Delight-Whatever...he's gone.Why did she leave?

Noel- she said " you dont hold me right"

Delight- your kidding!

Noel- nope..

they break into laughter

Noel- i sure am a lousy guy... cant even hold a girl right

Delight-  sure you can... just need to find a girl who apreciates your touch and your poetic mind.

Noel- Youre the only girl who likes my poetic mind...

Delight- So maybe am meant for you...

Noel-...nah i dont like your crooked tooth...throws me off...

Delight- i dont like your big lousy feet anyway. always stepping on me, and hurting me.

laughter breaks from there mouths

Noel-... but  i sure do love your smile when you laugh, your tooth makes it unique

Delight- and i find it cute how many times you say sorry and give that look of worry on your face when you land your huge foot on me.

*they smile not looking at eachother...and there hands slowly ravel together

Her eyes I love
Her smile I adore
Her golden fire hair burns me inside
Her look , twisting
Her smile , melting
Her touch that makes me freeze

Get me get me
Into a trance
I'll follow u anywhere

My love

Mother father
I didn't mean to falter
In your eyes I didn't become so
With my mind
Drew another path
Hated and saw it was filled with rot
Of course you would , from your perspective
But I do not apologize for my life style
I do ask for forgiveness I did not mean
To hurt you so, but If I was not so selfish...

Lover, sister
I hurt you Two
With these decisions I make
I no longer seem to do what's good

Friends
I know u have good  hearts
Good mind
A great personality
A Second  family
I'll see you as that
Even though you " seem" to be
" bad influence "

Two sides
Different WANTS
You want that
You need this
I am stuck In the middle
Desperate to keep both happy
I know it's impossible
But why does it have to be
Can't it be pure simplicity?

My lover
If I do not see you
For these next days
....please do not ignore me
And fill yourself with sadness
IN the end
I'm here to cry with you

See my smiles

Don't reach your heart

My touch

Slipping out of your hand

Falling in love again
With you  

I'd relive it everyday

i still want

your flower
body

will you
let me have it

one more time

You push your weight on me
the weight, your world is breaking my back
how am i supposed to breathe
you can't see your suffocating me
i need an escape
i need to runaway
runaway, from the sins of your ghost

these days, these days
they never change
you continue to stand out in front of my door in winter
darling, can't you see there's no point
i'll never open the door
i'll wait till the snow takes you away

you still have a grip on me
let it go, let it go
to me you were my glowing moon
and i was your ever shining sun
now our love is gone
now summers gone and we've disappeared

your body has gone numb
is it from the tears
that hit the floor

you've pushed my head under water
now am gasping for change
dear, you can't hold onto to me forever
let it go,let it go

these nights end all the same
always end the same
you still wrap  yourself around me

These days
I don't feel normal
Unless I'm dancing
And my brain feels
Like it'll explode
From all this sound
That makes me wanna dance
And forget

These



Days


Don't feel normal
Unless I'm making love to you
And my heart falling out of chest

Cleanse me
Reach into my brain
My mind
And cleanse me
Bring me back to my normal self
Give me my confidence
Take away these thoughts
I am not this
I
Am
Not
These
Thoughts

You know
I never really got it
Stress, anxiety and all those things
I thought they were mild feelings
And a good sleep could cure it all
Until it happened to me
It's true what they say
"Don't know what you got till its gone"
But to me it was my confidence
My sanity
My cool and calmness
All of a sudden it was hard to just relax
Hard to work
Hard to be loving to my girlfriend
To sleep
To wake up
To enjoy the burning sun
the warmness on your skin
Music
Biking
Eating
Good thoughts
Days felt weird not normal
being myself felt...difficult
All I wanted to do is stay locked up at home , in my dark room  
..
....
.....
I can say I get better everyday
At least I hope

You know
I never really got it
Thought it could be cured with a good shower


Now I just feel happy when I get an hour that I feel like myself again

So cozy

So warm

You're my sleeping pill

You're my blanket

Change
It can be fine
Scary,fun
It can make  you  sad
It can make u happier
But change
Is always coming
That's scary...
But I wish some things stayed the same
I wish some memories would last forever ...
The  complex   way of life we live
Makes me cry when I'm drunk
I wish we lived more simple
More natural
But we all think to much
We all care to much
We want...to much

Sometimes I'm glad I'll  die someday
I won't need to expirience the death of the world ...I hope
But I'll  miss the beauty of life
Yeah
I'm pretry sure I will

and in your mind
i seem to have never stayed
oh and im quite proud
quite proud
now
now that the spring arrived
i cant resist to lay my green skin on the green grass
and they always told me
"you'll die catching your dreams"
but i just kept living
as I'm  killing my lungs
here we go another day
in my life
ohhhhh

Tried writing poems
About the beauty you hold
but i couldn't
So i tore the page apart

Tried writing poems
Of the smile that makes me forget
of everything
but i couldn't
so i crumbled up the page
and threw it away

Tried making a song with my guitar
of the way you make me feel
but this feel is far to great
for strings to play
so i put it down
and walked away

Tried sleeping by thinking of ways
i would kiss you
if you would by side
but you would never would be by my side
so i turned over closed my eyes
and slept away

Tried thinking of ways i would tell you
of how much my heart beats for you
but i was afraid you would walk away
not saying a word
so i stopped thinking of ways to tell you
and hoped you would come for me
but you never did...

and when you held my hand

i lost all feeling from my head to my toes
from my head to my toes

i lost all feeling

through my bones
through my veins


when you held my hand tightly

The world seems better in the air and the clouds

Rather then here on the ground


If I can't fly

At least let me glide

My chest caving in
But in a good way

My stomach turns
But in a good way

Zoning out
Spacing out
The thought of her
Lingers at   the back of my head
Her eyes piercing me
With her dashing smile

Her smile
Her smile
Her.....
Smile.....

....oh!
I forgot I'm sitting on top
Of a cloud
The world that's all around us
Is so vast
But the outside world is so much bigger
A jungle of darkness
We are a spec of dust
Why must we make
Everything complicated

.....
Sleeping in my bed
No way I know how I got here....

I just wanna be alone

For at least a second

Away
From EVERYONE
Just be in the solitude

Comforted with my thoughts

Laughter broke from our withered lips
and tears broke from our sleepless eyes
the window letting the december air
dance with our december smoke
that filled the room we sat in happily
listening to records
that played from a musical needle
which seemed to be playing forever
We smiled at each other
enjoying our friendly company
we played super mario world
taking turns
finding every level hard

We sat in room
with a wooden floor
and green and white walls

with laughter pouring out from our lungs
and happy running through our veins

enjoying the  december smoke
filling our lungs

You're beautiful

But this world is ugly

Oh you just...

Make everything better baby

It's been a year and 8 months
I see you everyday
You're my best friend
But the love of my life
First a stranger
Who I couldn't take my eyes off...
I caught you looking in my eyes.
I'll never forget that day

But, I feel like I've never met you
Like You were  there my whole life
Like my family
A part of me

My beautiful girl
Who has me wrapped around her finger
I live  to keep that smile on your face
Live to feel your touch
Everyday
...

I like to see you shine
shine above the world
that had been dark
for many years
oh, how i love to see you
shine...

Theres no man
no man
that loves you
like him
so why am i here?

I sat on a hill one morning
6:00
One morning

The foggy blue sky
Became
A melting red strawberry
With a pinch of peaches
And coffee cream
Painted on the sky

The grass freshly wet
From the morning dew
Oh I wish I could put it in a tea cup
I would sip it all up
Down my ribs it will go
Painted on my lips
That'll do...
A sad tree leaning on its lover
All the others looking
Jealous
Of the love they hold
On the tips of there wooden fingers

The sun coming up slowly
Burning everything with the word
"Beauty"

My fingers sinking in the soft dirt
Reminding me of my morning coffee
Riding up to my nails

The morning of the day
Putting the haze and daze
In my eyes

I think of her
And her green,brown,beautiful eyes

And I drown
In the earths tears

fill my bones with clouds

so you can rest upon me

forever

This cold and warm feeling

                oh how you shivered


oh how you shivered

We
smiled
ever
so
big

With our legs landing heavily on the wet grass

With your hand
in
mine

oh how we disappeared
disappeared

in the cold warm night

where
love
wrapped
us
together
like
a

blanket...

I remember I could use to feel the sun and earth flowing in my body

The morning rise
Would excite me
And the orange evening sky's
Would put me to sleep

I would feel laughter
And joy
But these days
It's like im stuck in a rut
Everything feels the same

Old, alone
and sore

he packs his suitcase
and packs his torn leather shoes

he leaves
never gonna return
never...

walking upon shore
it rains
dripping from his sin
and his glasses get lost in the drops

the water crashes against
his
and he runs his fingers in the deep sand

his teeth glimmer in the ray of the sun

a tap on his shoulder
a frail tap
oh so frail

...making me feel at home
as i lay on an open field
with autumn leaves
dancing with the autumn sunset

*love love
love love

spinning like a record player
laugh hollers out my lungs
the sky and the sun became a beach for me
the clouds
washing against my face
We all sat out on a porch
smoking cigarettes
as the sun fell
they offered me a smoke
"no thanks"
two went back inside and sat and watched tv
three stayed outside and still conversed
my friend wearing sunglasses
he sat down on a wooden chair
taking a hit from he's cigarette
letting the smoke coming out of his nose
he said"guys i don't think a girl would want to sleep with me
if i smell like tom ford and cigarettes"

Darling can you please

Take my hands

my cold hands...


i know there cold
but they can be warmed by yours

take it

and slowly walk onto the river with me

and lets dance

please

darling

take my cold hands and take my melting heart
and drip onto yours

i know my heart is weary

but its worth something

to prove myself
that i can
be yours....

I could stare st myself
Endlessly
Never knowing who I am

This body
This mind

uncontrolable

Like the sea

Who am I
Who am I

Endless thoughts
Like the aquatic sea

snow fell
on my city

and the grey clouds streched aross the sky's

i sit inside
drinking the tea of memories
oh how they taste good



i'll walk out later
with my friend
around the city we will go
on the snow we will walk

on the train we will ride

will i see familliar faces walking around?

who knows
i bet the snow as hidden everyone from me

i'll sit inside as i watch the snow
and my mind will melt

will the storie go on
or will end it a dramatic pause?
and never to resume again...

i hope the snow doesn't freeze
our storie

footprints will be left in the snow
just mine will be there i suposse

i'll wait for spring
when eveything will bloom
bloom
bloom

I woke up
the sun softly breaking through
resting on the wall,
i left my radio on
playing songs and songs
that i love
my hair is glued to my forehead
i feel it scratching against my skin
i look around piles of clothes
laying on the corner of my bed
empty bowls of  cheerio cereal
my guitars laying up against a wall
one that is laying on the floor
two burnt matches on the floor
a poorly painted zebra mask
and a yellow leaf that fell from its place
a lot of dried pieces fell off the dead leaf,
old VHS tapes against the wall
***** dancing,breakfest club,ferris bueller , blues brothers
so much more
books piled in each other
dorian grey,to **** a mockingbird, a farewell to arms
i'm missing two books
i lent them to my friend
red ink from a pen on the floor
i had to keep the guitar cord at a certain bend to it would amplify
it gave in and exploded
a green paint mark on my wall
and a cut out mustache
an old keyboard of the 80's
sometimes it turns on sometimes it doesn't
notebooks of poems
and boxes of drawing i did when i was younger
a big jar with two dead roses
pencils and pens cross in and out
a little emptied out honey jar
filled with all my train tickets
my bracelets laying on the floor
except for the blue one my wrist
it never comes off
my camera lays beside the camera beg
drawings on the wall
and my hats on top of each other
and my sweaters all over the place
vinyl album covers
of the Beatles and Pink Floyd

My mom calls it a mess
i call it
me...

you told me
lies
in my body
getting to high
forgetting how the rays of sun
feel
this smoke is making me look old
and now the clouds
cry forever
you told me

we laugh
crying like those clouds
forever
shiver down my skin
you kiss the clouds
forever
you told me
lies
in my body
hiding in the dark
getting to high
forever

I sat there
My head against the table
My hand up against my heart
It was beating really fast
I looked around
And everyone was looking at me with smiles
I'd say something
And they would laugh
My head hit the table as I laughed with them
They tried asking me question
I just laughed at the questions
They would laugh with me

We were laughing like stars
At night

your moon hands
your summer bones
Shine
on these water mornings

my mind is gone
because its buried in deep clouds
imagining
the sun's rays resting on my shoulder
as you lay your head  deep in the grass

11:00
and we dance to song we love
11:30
we fall on floor tired
and we sleep
5:00
we wake
and it rains softly
we laugh
6:00
we lay on the couch
in the arms of one another
we watch a movie

sitting outside on the grass
we talk
of things on the top of our head
we fall in deep sleep
as we talk
of we'll do tomorrow

Even the deepest ocean's
has light
hidden at the back of your head

am crazy
cause
they turn me
turn me
until i fall

come on, come on
smile now
smile for the sky

people often ask
were are you going...
to tell you the truth
no were...
am going no were
am just a typical man
finding something to fill this hole
buried deep inside me

maybe just a place were
the grass is greener
were the air is cleaner
and were the clouds are whiter

maybe just a place
a place...
were people smile
smile
for the sky
sky

hey don't do that
don't let your eyes
fall to the floor

just take and throw
take and throw that
mask...
that hides you from this world

there's that beautiful smile
now look up to the sky
and laugh
laugh
with the sky

My heart went in a flurry

when you looked up...

Take my hand
and kiss my lips
so we can
turn into crazy poets
that fall in love with everything

turn into a poet with me
so we can swim on the honey
that drips from the moon

Oh turn into a poet with me
so you can understand
why i can't put your beauty into words

oh....

Oh i drank coffee
Tired as hell
knowing how the story went
from begining to end

Now Now
come
drip from hair to my toes
please
make my fingers numb
and make my heart stop to beat

oh the night was young

both of us together

both of us together

oh what now
what now

shall i do
with this heart that melts so?
collect it in a bucket
and try to put back to its shape

oh no
but how

once this melts
no going back

all i need to do is now
is let it melt
until its all gone and i'll drown
and my heart comes back anew

oh these tears
how
they came out
like flowers

for her

In my bed
Drunk
******
My problems seem to fade
Like my stress
Once I take that hit to the lungs
  I take that shot or two

Once I think of her bare skin on mine
Her lips  on mine
Smiling so heavily
Breathing so heavily  
Inside of her

Yeah life's not to bad
Listening  to music
And thinking of the way she sees you
When she opens that door

Tell me the storys
they have told you
The songs they sung for you
all that touched you
all those who went right by you
tell me of the ones you rained on for
was it to make them sad?
or make them sing in the rain?
or for the passionate lovers to kiss?
tell me all those clouds you met
were they as nice as you
did they let you dance with them
did some  of them let you show what you can be?
tell me Mr.cloud
is the sky the limit?
or futher?

Tell Me Mr. cloud
did you find love?
with a girl
in a big  blue dress?
and blue eyes?
as you paddled on the river...

Oh all the happiness you can bring

three of us
sat a table
as one of us had peanut butter
and the two of us has ichiban soup
discussing the things that came to mind

We walked to our favourite street walking to one end
to the other

we watch the river flow

strolling down a narrow path
filled with green ad yellow leaves
as falls comes in


We come on this little
beach

one of us sits on a rock
the other takes pictures
and me skipping rocks across the water

we start walking back
as we stop at  a unique bush
as we discuss what it could be called
one of us say
"in french its pronounced  "seul pleurer" "

we're quiet for some time
breathing in the moment
we have

we talk about the seasons we love
we laugh
we're friends

cloudy afternoon
happy
afternoon

good days

the feeling inside my chest


Bursting into my brain

"  I miss you"

I wanna play with your hair

lost lost lost lost
am i actually lost?
lost in the world i am
and hell im enjoying it
running through these foggy parks
not knowing were am going
what am going to run to'

MY head is
lost in this lust of the world

my eyes
my eyes
fell into the
dew of the morning
and now
feel me
falling out
falling out
of this sticky honey
i got into

oh oh
oh oh
ran into
this forest

and now am running on sea
...

You drive me crazy
Memories of us
Keep me up
But I let my guard down again
And I’m the one who’s left hurt
You’ll always be my friend, I love you so much
But I must let go of my infatuation for you

Soft delicate face
Oh how i want to hold you
Under a snow cloud