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Ayn Jan 2021
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Youthful spring,
Slowly drawing itself towards winter.
We wish it would stay forever,
But time grows old,
As all things do,
And barren days
Arrive in a haze.

All seems lost and lifeless,
But hope is not yet futile,
Because spring lies beyond
The approaching horizon.
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Ayn Aug 2020
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Spreading wings
And releasing feathers,
The dove flies through
A ring of flame.

The scroll of negotiation
Unscathed by the battlefield.
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Ayn Jun 2021
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Through smoke, Smog,
And smoldering ashes,
I’ll see this to the end.

Iridescent falls,
An ocean of flying fish.
Behind the charred walls,
Lies life’s perfect dish.
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Ayn Jan 2021
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As we make this mess whole,
We look into the distance, intoxicated
By the silent, corrupt vessel.
A terror once prominent, now abated.

A sickness soon to grow,
But the infection has long sat, dormant.
Break the dam, beckon in the flow,
And watch as we sing our silent lament.
My parents seem to be under the impression that I’m a closeted transgender. I’m trying to figure out how to tell them that dudes are allowed to like cute stuff too ****.
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Ayn Jan 2021
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Laying newfound gemstones
Upon the fields of springtime citrus,
The sun rises once again.

We are here to witness
As the earth’s moonlight visage
Is burned away by the rising fire,
Leaving us free to start anew.
Hey, this is for a friend named s, and probably everyone else. Who I wrote it for isn’t important. It’s important to remember that sometimes all you might need is a reset. To take a nap during the day, or sleep through the night can help you a lot. Remember that. I don’t want anyone making the mistakes I have.
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Ayn Oct 2021
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He’s back once more;
The icy presence held at the door.
My heat is drained away
Like a fleeting fall leaf,
And all that’s left is an empty shell;
Something he wouldn’t sell.

Why all the meaningless slander?
I know you love me at heart.
There’s everything left for us;
A world of experience to handle.
Take my hand and I’ll show you,
You’ll see a world better than blue.
Get out of my head. You aren’t welcome.
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Ayn Jul 2021
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Through the mist
A quiet voice echoes;
A booming announcement,
Following a silent predicament.

Calling upon the dormant engine,
Remembrance has arrived.
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Ayn Jul 2021
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Scorching the clouds
Like a fuming inferno,
Only to be smothered
Without a moment to breathe.

Highlighting the bleak gray
With layerings of radiant white.

The purest form of energy;
Destroying all it touches directly.
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Ayn Jun 2021
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Like a sopping wet leaf,
Floats in the northern oceans,
As if it is a single drop of blood
In an autumn wheat field,
The echoes of reality reach deaf ears
As the final leaf falls,
Silently,
From its hibernating host.
In a continuation of the last note, very few house flies have died since them, none of which were intentional murders.
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Ayn May 2021
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You are the bleach searing my eyes,
The blade entering my veins,
The truth behind my silver lies,
And the silent screams of my pains.

Necessary but unwanted…
Or was it wanted but unnecessary?
Now it’s just a still ballroom, long haunted.
Ghosts and specters dominate the ferry.

Once a burning memory
Now a fading sheet of music.
Silence carries no remedy,
Besides the voice of your mimic.

You broke through my inaudible screams,
Now you linger amongst my deepest dreams.
This goes all over the place, doesn’t it? I wrote it last night then passed out while writing the note. For context, the speaker is talking to the writer.
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Ayn Mar 2021
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A shimmering thunderclap
Shines across a million seas.
I stand landlocked,
Left to count the endless leaves.

The golem’s silent lament
Leaves the lightning to grieve.
The execution of silence
Set to be, without reprieve.
A golem is like a robot but made of dirt or stone, in this case it is representative of the earth. After all, the earth and sky form a precious duality in which we thrive.
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Ayn Oct 2021
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Vapors stand in strands,
Left to stain the sky.
Showing like an open wound,
Left behind by the wind’s talons.
Bleak and gray,
They insist on remaining;
Watching me fray;
Watching my silent decay.

Among life’s bountiful fruit,
The silent world is absolute.
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Ayn Mar 2021
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As the gloomish clouds
Silently weep,
The world darkens
And we fall towards sleep.
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Ayn May 2021
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Silence calls for dusks final breath
As we say farewell to sight
And lay our bodies to rest.

Our minds, however,
Live nocturnal,
Like our souls—
Living, eternal.
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Ayn Jan 2021
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Cleaving through the stilling silence,
Like an ocean’s crushing roar.
The dulling gray sky
Becomes a lightless void
With a scream of defiance,
Splitting the essence of noise.

Left with a silence so warm,
But it’s just the calm before the storm.
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Ayn Oct 2021
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The solitude of the cliffside,
nothing but a sharpened breeze
to comfort the wayfaring soul.
The din of crashing waves
drawing forth a sense of exhaustion.

Thinly layered, I look out from above the precipice.
The biting air just another fact of life.
Looking upwards, the sky uses the clouds as a vest;
a warmth I currently desire,
however exhaustion closes in and I lay down to rest.
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Ayn Oct 2021
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Like a stone in the ocean,
Or a drop of water
In glistening oil,
A hole begins to fester.

Deep within my core,
The inching shadow grips my fears,
Throwing away my desires,
And beckoning my tears.
I have no title for this. It’s definitely dark. All of my work is at this point. I’m in a tense national competition and today’s the last event. I don’t know know my competitors are doing because I can’t actually see them compete. But based on how well I think I’ve done, I have a chance.
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Ayn Oct 2021
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A lash of autumn wind slices at the skin,
a gentle yet firm reminder of nature's harsh personality.
With the whip arises a spray of icy water,
Its bleak gray sheen housing an unparalleled vibrancy.

The drifting tides churn in wonder and expectation,
bringing this once still and silent slate
to a monochromatic spectrum.
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Ayn May 2020
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As long as my heart keeps beating,
It will keep unrequitedly loving.
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Ayn Jan 2021
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I’m the whisper
Among the piercing scream;
The subtle vertigo
Of an early morning dream.

I’m the darkest burning star;
Your wandering mind
When you’ve gone too far.

I’m the voice you could not hear;
The voice you should not fear.
Advice that most abhor,
Given with an air of valor.

Don’t follow my whispered suggestions,
All it becomes is bad recollections.
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Ayn Jan 2020
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Life chained me down with roses.
Gave me a forsaken heart attack,
Let my poisoned blood seep out.
And I watched it all fade to black...

Spinning round and round
For this endless eternity
On this infernally angelic
Carousel of bloodlust and agony.
Inspired by a song called “Bad Apple!!” (idk the original artist)

Jan.2.2020
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Ayn Dec 2020
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If I could start again,
I’d move a trillion miles away.

Drain the toxin from my veins,
Train myself day by day.

If I could start again,
I would keep myself
I would find a way.
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Ayn Dec 2019
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Oct.25.2019

Sammie, it annoys me
That you called my question sweet
It’s not you, it’s me.

What to think of it?
It confuses me so much
Know that I love you!
Christ almighty I forgot that I asked someone out to homecoming that day and got rejected in a really sweet manner that avoided telling me weather my feelings were reflected or not. It’s in a double haiku form. There were hundreds to choose from my drivers ed book, but this one was the least bad.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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Emerald eyes;
Ones sharp enough
To cleave the soul itself
And pierce a hopeful heart.

Built to be selfless,
Yet made to self destruct.
Internal compassion
Was never meant to be
For this sorrowful existence.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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“Not all things are made
To survive becoming past”
I thumb the cold blade,
Knowing this won’t last.

“Peace residing
Within the art of war”
Inside the cracks I’m hiding;
While my mind’s on tour.

“Within emotion
Lies our charred corruption.”
A mental explosion;
And a civil war’s eruption.
The parts I wrote in quotations get more specific while the other halves get less specific. I just noticed that.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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As water comes to fire
A flash flood of steam ignites.
As forward memories
Reveal themselves once again,
I wonder what I thought back then.
I thought that when I was 17 I’d be drinking, driving (not at the same time) and smoking with buddies. Now I’m 17 and eating a candy bar in my kitchen while curled into a ball. It’s funny how what you want changes over time.
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Ayn Nov 2020
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Chasing
A long-forgotten mist.
Running
On Lævateinn’s edge.

The final sprint
Just seconds away
Tedium envelopes my being,
While my flames fade to gray.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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Weaving through the static noise,
Black and White fills the void.
Inside my mind, I put away the toys;
For all is not yet destroyed.

The sun’s main flame
Appears to glow tame,
But life’s never that docile.
Peace will always take awhile.
“YOUR GOD IS DEAD
AND NO ONE CARES
IF THERE IS A HELL,
I’LL SEE YOU THERE!”
From the song ‘Heresy’ by Nine-Inch-Nails.
If a past friend reads this description they’ll hate me ****
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Ayn Dec 2020
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A frosted mist lies, stagnant,
Over a glittering lonesome field.
Hanging like a martyr’s last breath
In a silent tribute to their death.
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Ayn Nov 2020
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Standing on the cracks,
I flip to the last open page.
Emotions dragging my into chains...
The air around me still feels like a cage.
Living in a camouflage
Of the things within my rage.
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Ayn Mar 2021
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As we listen to the silence,
A world of noise
Populates our barren mind.

We bring life
To the once subdued void,
Only to ***** it out
Like a whimpering candle
When we inevitably forget.
Me writing poetry at 12:30am lol. Time for some ice cream.

Edit: after rereading this in the morning, I realized I never ate any ice cream.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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Steady,
monotonous,
And visceral;
My heartbeat rages on.

A sleepless night ahead
With no rhyme nor reason
To back my nervous season.
Ugh this is gonna ****! Welp whatever. Might as well make use of it. Time to be the old me ****!
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Ayn Dec 2020
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As you drift away
Like a long-forgotten shirt;
Growing yellow on the clothesline,
I stand,
Immobilized and Immortalized
Within the reaper’s ace of spades.
That makes 3. It’s definitely me. There’s no point in denying it. There never was a point in the start though, nor did I ever deny it. But how do I change?
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Ayn Apr 2021
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Within shining walls,
He lies on opulence.
If only time was kind enough
To let him lie forever.

In the end,
He has to stand.
In the end,
Time beckons forgetfulness.
There’s a bit of a double entente in this poem. It came in naturally at first, but I probably forced it in at the end. The riches suggested by opulence are riches of the mind, otherwise known as knowledge. That’s why the last line is what it is.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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Within the cracking glass
A reflection takes hold.
Throughout this ringing tone;
inside the crowd I’m all alone.
The ticking words,
abhorrent outside my head.

My mind must watch it’s tread,
The striking mallet instilling fear
My jagged edges are begging to

...disappear...
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Ayn Nov 2021
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As the somniferous air sets in
Like an ocean of sea glass;
The flowing tide echoing through my mind.

A dream of newfound waters
Surfacing like a long lost memory,
Calling forth from the autumn breeze.

Like gemstones in the rain,
I’m free to bleed out the colors.
The desire to leave an empty shell
Overpowered by a desire for vitality.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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Insensible schisms
Within the chasms
Of a fractured mind.

Spiraling spectral light
Reflecting off the broken pieces,
which lie scattered,
Hovering in an everlasting stasis.

Eternal connection lies in myth,
And such fragments I view with mirth.
A broken mind calls my name,
After following the void of my birth.
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Ayn Jun 2022
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As the final wisps of daylight fade
Your eyes become so clear
And the dimly burning streetlights
Become the silent starlight,
Lighting our lover’s path dear.
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Ayn Jan 2021
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Streaks of rose-gold radiance
Elevate the scarlet plateau.
Through watching skies,
And ethereal cries,
The peak of the world draws near.

When all’s said for all to hear,
A hidden motive is made clear.
There’s no reigning power
As pervading as our fear.
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Ayn Mar 2021
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Don’t go
You’re leaving me
To the endless flow.
You preach destruction,
But the sands of time still stand,
a subtly worse construction.
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Ayn Feb 2021
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A violent struggle for air,
Lasts like a star’s radiant flare.
As the void turns to ashes,
Breath resumes control;
A frozen silencer thawed dry.
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Ayn Feb 2021
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Decompression overwhelms
Concrete mentalities,
Shattering them
Like false glass.

Heavy is the head
That dawns the crown;
An anchor of lead,
Pulling us down.
Using greek letters i can make interesting things, take the uppercase lambda for example: ΛIDΛN cool i guess.
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Ayn Jan 2021
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Fluorescent shadows
Quake on the concrete.
Like autumn leaves
In a solitary plain,
The ****** and disappear.

Shadows of men I don’t see,
I guess they’ll always be there,
Haunting me.
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Ayn Nov 2020
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As the endless expanse
Stretches itself before my eyes,
Flickering lights create depth.

All that lies between
Is the iridescence of our sunset,
And the fragrance of our universe.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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Thinning grains of silky sand
Slip beneath my shoes,
Undisturbed by the light breeze.

Grass stands, the opposite;
Sprouting out of the sand,
To be fumbled by the wind.
It’s slightly toasted gold
Radiating through the shade,
As if touched by fire’s kiss.

The world, in and of itself
Encompassed by a setting sun’s hug;
It’s resonating auburn arms
Spanning the pastel horizon.
The car helps. I get to see new places. I feel my writing coming back to where it was.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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As darkness falls
The world becomes a shroud,
In which the smallest lights
Beckon forth
A sea of illumination.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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You fade to black,
Grab a new face,
And begin to dance
In gently collected moonlight.

Time drifts around the clock
And I’m still right here.
You gather even more faces
As you teleport far away.
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Ayn Nov 2020
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A step to a wade,
Shivering water
Will always shine.
Even if the day is done,
Even if you can’t run.
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Ayn Dec 2020
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Saving others...
For their sake or mine?
It’s all a platter
For my ego to dine.

It’s a criminal system
Deserving destruction,
So I’ll destroy it.
If it’s for my own sake then I’m another corrupt being, like everyone. I don’t believe that I’d be so nice, after all, I’m corrupt enough with my thoughts.
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Ayn Nov 2020
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Liquid emotion;
pervading us all.
Lying prevalent
Within our darkest minds,
Sits our coup d'etat;
Ready to overthrow
At the flick of a hair.

The tick of time,
The weight of a scale;
Inconsequential losses
Remaining inside
The tumultuous plane
Of organic existence.
Why am I crying?
Don’t ask me.
Christ this is a pain,
Poetry is my only outlet.

I just can’t stand venting. So unlike an irishman’s drink, my emotions stay in the bottle.
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