They say home is where the heart is
That home is where your happiness is
But why doesn’t it feel happy
Why does it feel like prison?
My showers have become so tearful
My breath has become so toxic
The thoughts of you consume me
What pains most is that you don’t see it
You don’t feel my pain
Home is where the heart is right?
Is this your home too?
Is your heart here too?
I want to know, maybe I am in the wrong home
Maybe I am chocking you with my presence
I want to go home,
I want to be happy, like a normal person in love
I want peace
I want to feel like its home
Sadly, I still feel I should be home with you!

I thought it was nothing when we first met
I knew it was just ***
The first time,I Felt like it’s going to be easy
We agreed it was going to be a fling
Weeks later,I couldn’t recognise myself anymore
I wasn’t the same anymore
I felt more emotions, cried alot
It started to get to me,so much that it took control over me
It controlled how I feel,how I act,how I feed
It had me wrapped  up and squeezed in its little palms.
I tried to escape from it,but I kept crawling back
I couldn’t talk to anyone,so I Googled
You don’t want to know the keywords for the search..
But every result gave me a falling in love narrative,
I didn’t want to fall in love, I just wanted ***
I didn’t want to be attached,I just wanted the attention
I didn’t want a relationship,I just just wanted company
I didn’t want commitment,I just just just needed a one time every time
“How did I get here” I asked myself everytime I was in the shower
Or when the thought of you popped  up
I’d fallen madly for you
Deep down, I knew it was  billshit
Deep down,I knew if I told you,you would laugh so hard
So I wallow in my pain,trying to pull out,
I hope i take it down sooner before it takes me down!