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John Dewberry May 2019
Whatcha know
About chastity
I don’t need a belt to
Be loyal
Feel royal
love  ain’t gotta be
A battle royale

Everyone’s an attention *****
Publicity is adored
I abhore your BS
Get away from
My doorstep
My patience
Has a threshold
That you’ve crossed

I ain’t *******
For a ******* dime
If you wanted a mime
Here’s a rhyme instead
I won’t wish you dead
I’m not that petty
I live practicing abstinence and chastity
For many reasons
Chief among them the fact that’s it’s more  of a challenge when compared to sleeping with someone. Secondly, the challenge of living such a lifestyle pays off, mostly because it’s harder to get yourself broken  when you don’t open yourself up to false and momentary since of connection.
480 · May 2019
RIP Portry.com
John Dewberry May 2019
When All Else Fails

Poets: past, present and future
Congregrated
To have their poems dissapear
Confiscated.
Poetry.com alienated its community

800 poems— gone!
5 years of work— erased
Domain defaced
And encased behind a error
404: Datbase could not be reached

I’m looking forward
To getting back to my roots
To reesrablishing an online presence
Poetry is meant to be shared
And read
This site better not lose to the times
Grown ingrown
Or henceforth be labeled “dead”
449 · May 2019
Hell Has Waterfalls
John Dewberry May 2019
Hell has waterfalls?
I never knew that hell had waterfalls scanning from the world above
This is where love goes when we die as our souls wither in purgatory- the ultimate punishment for our lives- lived that served as portraits of
Endless contradiction despite fun times
I never knew hell had waterfalls until I was standing amid the myriads of broken hearts looking at me from their nooses. Blue eyes hide the fire inside- pain redefined through a hearts apartheid- waterfalls separate the fiery tide as a tornado brews above and we try to hide

I  never knew hell had waterfalls... Till I meditated under one- pressure- release the lethal syringes from your gun and send the anesthetic to my heart so that I don't feel any more pain.
I never knew Hell had waterfalls until today
433 · May 2019
Opuses 1-7
John Dewberry May 2019
Agony Bearing My Serenade (Opus 1)

Cruel  is the flow of time
Like a river's flow
Life can be a never ending hardship
For people die everyday
The pain continues
As our dirt roads hit constant bumps
Sometimes we don't see the path
We're lost in the dust storm called regret
We try to wish for better
But wishful thinking usually bears agony and loss  
When I was young and innocent I was blind  
To the perpetually cold world


Claronim Hominum Morte (Opus 2)
Genocide overseas
Global pollution
We strive for better
Through struggle we all attempt success as we face the truth and stop hiding in a shadow
Society isn’t built to fail
The correctional system isn’t a bail
and politicians just kiss ***
and philosophers spew their rhetoric and tales
This world is selling itself to the devil
As we shake with the treble of life
We keep pulling forward
In a syncopated march to death



The False Illusion of Spring (Opus III)
False Images of hope
Seen in the flower petals
The colors will die
Just like us
You just have to wait
It's kind of like a tease
Nature's tease
Please- nothing lasts forever
I just wish people would see
Inside themselves enough to know
Will fate will eventually come
Unlike seasons
We only get one chance- how will you change the world

Painting Pictures of Society (Opus IV)
Our societies corrupt
Illegal drugs thugs
And prostitution
It makes me so sad to see
The girl next door transforming to a streetwalking ***** help society change for better
Don’t rule the world- Don’t let the world rule you


Media Bastardization (Opus V)
Stop brainwashing us with opinions
Give us the facts
Stop telling us lies  
Fill the cracks
Liberal
Conservative
Tell us the truth
FYI- nothings fact unless proven, know to know just what you believe

The Solemnly Played Notes of Regret (Opus VI)
It strikes a chord
When one does hoard
Knowledge for himself
Instead of sharing
And caring
He chooses to be an introvert
And he's smart
But introversion will hurt because he is choosing to stay silent  


Talk it Out (Opus VI)
Got a problem with someone  
Talk it out
Make it better
Words can severe heads together
To solve the world’s problems
428 · May 2019
Loose Clothing and Mascara
John Dewberry May 2019
A man shouldn’t write a poem like this?
Why?
Is it sexiest?
To alienate human nature
By denying sexuality
Is a sin
Than again
Why not grin through it
After all— we’re only human
____________

Loose lips
Sink ships
Moving hips
Seize the night

Red makeup
Long dress
No duress
Just drinks and conversation
Elimination of worry
Seductions the ******
That fuels  lust
Connection— her personalities no bust

Her blue eyes
Red makeup and skirt
Her eyeshadow brings
Her Into the light of my eye
Asks me for a dance
I ponder why

But the decisions already been made
and I can’t say no
After all, women want what they can get
And they always win

I realize
Mesmerized
As she takes me to the bed
That my thought of a dance
Was a miscalculated motion
In my head

She’s full of surprises
she likes surprises
She surprised me
363 · May 2019
BLEEDING INTEGRITY
John Dewberry May 2019
Surrogate Country
our politics resemble
The human centipede
Dying respect
Hostility from
Both sides
The people divide amongst each other
It’s not
The politicians fault

Ashe to Ashe
Dust to dust
In God we trust
In blind faith we rust
I’m a punk
Singing  rock and jazz
Railing against everyone
With a political placebo
Or a  falsly repleted libido

This country I love
These dumb *****  
I ******* loathe
I start loving
When their words
and conversations
Don’t have an agenda

You can take my life
But I’ll die bleeding every
Inch, word, and ounce
Of my integrity
John Dewberry May 2019
I can’t forgive myself
For your mistakes
I still reflect on them as mine
I’m not fine
My freshman year of highschool was a hell
It’s a story I’d rather not tell
But then again I owe it to you- for what I didn’t say I  and what I didn’t do
I always came back to the memories of you
A homeschooled girl with Blonde hair
Going with her ambitions without a care for anyone else
As the silent clock struck quarter till 1
The devil addressed our reality with his ******* son
And a sinister smirk
That night came to lurk
And left me in murk
10 lines of powder- I was fine
Nothing wrong  with my mind
6 for you and you were gone
But you kept on going- on and on
After the ninth hit I said “Stop”
But you were insisting that you wouldn’t drop
Line 10 you weren’t fine
At 12:46 am on the 11th line you died
Into my arms you fell
And for the longest time I never would tell
Anyone of what happened on that night

Six years later
And I say
That my Dad's death wasn’t in vain
But it was yours that was harder
That cold lifeless head
Those vacant eyes blankly staring at me
Though we didn’t know for certain at the time
I had felt death and had seen it before
I knew you were dead
In the present future I stay awake
Trying to stay sober
As I reflect on my college experience
And the drug intake
This girl- Rosie she was you through and through (other than her hair color)
I Thought that was a sign
But she was taken
And even if she wasn’t
I would not make her mine
But at the same time you were on my mind
So I did drugs to ease the pain
And severely messed up my brain

Lorelei
Use your voice
And sing for the angels
And hopefully you were buried with your tennis racket
I missed your funeral
Our last memory is so surreal
Your hazel eyes met my eyes one last time and we never truly said goodbye
This book
The strife it took to make all of these poems
Doesn’t compare to the magnitude  of your death paired with my fathers
This book is dedicated to you
And all mothers and daughters
And for anyone who’s ever lost someone
Life can end as fast as a bullet flies from a shotgun
333 · Sep 2019
None the Wiser
John Dewberry Sep 2019
Contributions
Dissalusions

We are merely writers
Of lives passed lived
when writing writs  ‘rights’  wrong writings
rightful rites
are signed over with the blood of fallacy
By intellectuals and cynics alike
Who’ve given up
Rights within us wrongfully appear in dissonance
Reflecting the stories from the past
taken for education but lessons ignored
The system has failed you
Histories created

And we remain
None the wiser
278 · Sep 2019
Agree? Disagree?
John Dewberry Sep 2019
death
by socialization
call it government inoculation
degradation
Indoctrination
propaganda machines
curteousy of those in power
but existed long before
and was created, perpetuated, and spread
by the people
who create images, write rights
to ‘right’ the writs written
and adopted by politicians whose personality
was created and nurtured by you and I
and by them and us
we created politicians
bolstored their success
now we are reaping the
dissatisfaction of what we created
we ****** up
This is no longer an issue of partisan politics
we must all change our ways
275 · May 2019
Ballad of an Irish Lad
John Dewberry May 2019
I haven’t been to church
In a while
I pray at the pub
With redheads Jameson and
Fish n chips

I haven’t been to church in a while
But who really cares
I’ve got nothing to confess
Cause everyone’s a sinner

I go to the matinee
On Saturday
Repping the IRA
I go to Essex on Sunday
And get rained on
I go home
And my hag of a wife is gone
She moved across the pond
With a bloke
Who works on wall street
250 · Sep 2019
Kosovo
John Dewberry Sep 2019
Kosovo

Let it fall and rise
Like Kosovo
With respect and reverence
Like Rome and the Byzantines
Or Constantinople

Give them liberty
Impunity
Immunity from the tyranny
Of former countries
Why must history
Stubbornly refuse death
John Dewberry Oct 2019
To you I say “ I love you”
That’s what I want to claim
Self made promises soon fade
Behind the dark of night
Behind the mist of rain
Just another midnight promise that the sun won't keep
  
Forget the world
Blue eyes say
When a broken heart won’t go away
I needed you though your happiness  
Is all that ever mattered to me
Dissonant  images come alive
From behind the stormy clouds
And the foggy rain
I want the same
But you clearly don’t
Can’t I be so selfish
When crimes of the heart die hard
235 · Sep 2019
Blanket of Essence
John Dewberry Sep 2019
Tell them a story
Use allegory
Wrapped up in culture
Tell them a story
With a moral
thatll  make them seek
The truth for themselves

Their truth
Ain’t my truth
My truth
Ain’t your truth
Your truth
Ain’t their truth

There’s only one universal truth
But many ways to find it
I haven’t found it yet
No one  has

But I do know this
Whatever it is
We may not wanna now
For I’d we did
Our world would singular
And boring
Life’s about chasing
Not catching
206 · Jun 2019
Milkshakes and Libidos
John Dewberry Jun 2019
Smooth, sweet
Saccharine
I’m addicted to the high
Of being young
And you’ve forgotten
The blessed nature
Of naivety

Any moments right
when you’re living in
sin— it’s been affirmed:
we’re only human

Milkshakes and libidos
A requiem for forgotten
handkerchiefs and soggy tears
Washed away by
Milkshakes and libidos

Cocktails
Created by insurance of
Mutually funded assurance
Without second thought
Regret not the momentary decisions
We make
Whatever happens

We knew the risk


Milkshakes and libidos
A requiem for forgotten
handkerchiefs and soggy tears
Washed away by
Milkshakes and libidos
204 · Jun 2019
Dirrty, Fiesty, and Ready
John Dewberry Jun 2019
Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready
Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready
Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready
Dirrty, Feisty, and Ready

Well
We’re young
Pretty dumb
Truly free
We have no shame
And
We’re loose
From the noose
Of expectation
Shooting pool
Skinny dipping in the pool
Smoking drinking
Living in the moment

Dirrty Feisty and Ready (x8)

We’re having fun
Don’t need no one
But us
There’s no better time
Than now
And no better place than here

We’re only human
We’re only human
We’re only human
We’re only human
So why not let let loose

Repeat chorus
John Dewberry May 2019
Never do drugs here’s why
This personnel story will
Make you cry
But use this poem to save a life
Or lend a helping hand
____________

The moon
Eclipsed for you
Our eyes  meant
As wishful and wanting
As the stars above
That were shooting

I’m no Shakespeare
But my Juliet
Fell from the heavens
And ascended
On the night
After her 17th birthday

The memory
Of an ethereal
Final embrace
And of that final kiss
Before you died
In my arms

I nearly died too
I wish I was here with you
I feel your presence in the waves
But all tides must elapse
I never said goodbye
I can feel your pressence
In the the sunrise and sunset
In the distant  horizonline

My heart still belongs to the one
The girl called Lorelei
I’m overdosing on your memory
It’s all I’ve got left

You always hear that drugs are bad
You see the effects
But until they personally affect you
Or someone you love
Or have known  in a past life
Your won’t reflect
RIP

4/15/1994— 4/16/11
188 · May 2019
Oman’s Grave
John Dewberry May 2019
The oman's grave
The times of indecision
Written on your gravestone

"Here it lies, death of an oman.... Good or bad.... We'll never know
Surely we'll never know the full potential of this... Omen
... And maybe it's better that way
... Today we say farewell to you
... A mysterious malgmation
Reflective particles of  nothing??
Who... Are... You...
We... Bequeath... You
Goodbye... To the Omen

The sparrows and ravens joined in cacophonous harmony
And sung the first notes of your afterlife
176 · Jun 2019
Tease and a Taunt
John Dewberry Jun 2019
Torn jeans
And a sleeveless tee
Working to the bone
In the daytime heat
Got nothing but a tractor
And some beam to my name
Gotta finish plowing by seven to pick up the dame

Oh
She likes the way I dress
And
She's easy to impress
Country girl
What'da want
Look at you
A tease and a taunt
To be with you
I’m quite fond
Summer breeze
Blowing through my hair
Not showing a care
To the world
It's all about us

And
You’re so easy to please
Don't make me get down
On my knees
174 · Sep 2019
Corazones Hacer y Ver
John Dewberry Sep 2019
No puedo querer
Más que tú
Mi esperanza de opio
Y una niña contenta
Mi traición sería dejar que quiera que vaya
Corazones hacer y ver
Corazones hacer y ver
Usted tiene la clave para mí
Completamente
Hasta mi último día
Lamento me come como estoy gritando para ser lanzado
Mi mente llena de tristeza , escribe un lamento de epifanía
¡Mierda!
¿He jodido ... Otra vez, yo prometo ganar su amor de nuevo con sinceridad infinita
172 · Dec 2019
You May last
John Dewberry Dec 2019
When the tides cry for you
Do you make em’ stop
As you’re  plotting through
The sand
To break your tears
When the flames don’t burn
Do you dust off the soot
Do you keep on goin
Without second

You seem lost
But you’ve found solace in confusion
The remedy for your delusion
Was addressed but never prescribed

You never said goodbye
You always wondered why
The life for which you vied
Could never be obtained
Cause you’re so
Stuck in the past
Some memories
Were meant to
Burn
So you may last
170 · Jun 2019
Act Naturally
John Dewberry Jun 2019
******* to *****
******* pointless
What?  We’re only human

What a weak excuse
For infidelity
Self serving *******
Should be put on trial

Think for yourself
Be yourself
Act naturally
Think for yourself
Be yourself
Act naturally

I guess you like
The thrill
I guess you have no chill
Why put yourself through
The ringer
Just to get too attached
For a brief moment

Think for yourself
Be yourself
Act naturally
Think for yourself
Be yourself
Act naturally
John Dewberry Sep 2019
I loved you
But love is a dissipating wave
Crashing on the
Tide of dreams
Behind blue eyes
I had goals
And aspirations
And it’s no ones fault
We lost connection
Along the way

Hell has a place in your heart
That you run to
For security
But my assurance
That it’ll be alright
Wasn’t enough insurance for you
148 · May 2019
Volition
John Dewberry May 2019
Believe what you want
And say what you will
And watch ideas grow
In a garden from your window sill

You can’t defend
Your insecurities
You must face yourself and ask
“Do I agree” For you see
That’s  up to you not me
I’ve found meaning
In rhyme
Words are just the color I abuse
Use these poems as insight and take them in
Because the readers worst committed sin
Is self-importance with a side of a grin
If I wanted to tell you want to think
If I wanted to tell you what to believe
Than I’d be a minister
But I’m not
And they’re  not that sinister
This first poem has to have a strong finisher
So I say
Believe what you want and live your own way
But take what I say to heart today
And it quite possibly could influence you pos’tively
147 · May 2019
As I Turn Around
John Dewberry May 2019
Looking in the mirror
I see my reflection
“Lonely as I am, together we cry”
As I turn around
I saw you walk to that battlefield
That so many days were wasted upon
It’s hard to look at the needle that caused pain
To the sieve  that triggered the end of so many lives
“Lonely as I am, together we cry”
The world is cold
Almost like a cryogenic fridge
We freeze with the good
And let in the rage of the masses
As it keeps growing
On our shoulders we vye with the solution to
Unify don’t deny
That if you try
To conquer that trail of tears
You cried
The choir will sing that last cacophonous note
And we sing the final notes
“Lonely as I am, together we cry”
John Dewberry May 2019
I see your image in my head
The still frame portraits and macabre dressed in misleading bright happy colors
I feel you in the air though you're not here
I see you're hand grabbing me and letting me go
Smudging your mascara on another gentlemans face as you do so
I cry and the tears hit your hand
You slap me away without looking at me
I awake and see your image in my dream
Letting me know that you're the key
To save me from this hell
2,190 days later
And you're still gone
John Dewberry Jun 2019
He sits at the bar
Lamenting his fall
From grace
Scars on his mind
Support his honesty

He tells of Black Daffodil
And nights on the sunset strip
recounting in detail
The glory days

“Everyone knew my name”
He said
“ when I meant my press agent
my career went to ****”

“Curses
To all who who’ve ****** me
I may be free
But I’m living my life as
Someone’s prison *****”
133 · Oct 2019
Drink!
John Dewberry Oct 2019
We won’t be sullen
We won’t be lame
We’ll be together
Waltzing with a bottle

I don’t hate the world
I just hate its state

I don’t hate the world
I like watching it turn

You can learn so much from observing
The more you drink the more wise you’ll be
Just remember: keep your mouth shut.
122 · Jun 2019
Anti-Groupie
John Dewberry Jun 2019
My thoughts
On T.H.OT.S.
Are as follows
**** em’
( figuratively)
Their way of thinking
Is played out
To them, subconsciously
I’m not about that life
But I can tell you
That it’s gonna be
A long night
Cause I’m not aiming to
make any friends here

The after party
Behind the scenes
I’ll pay for your Uber
To get you out
Of my face
I’m single and anti-groupie

You say I’m cynical
Your actions are cyclical
music comes first
Your intentions are questioned
you get offended
I’m getting reprimanded
But it’s par for the course
At this point

The after party
Behind the scenes
I’ll pay for your Uber
To get you out
Of my face
I’m single and anti-groupie
I never wanted the fame
I count the times
That I’ve been sorry
And for you
I’m not wasting guilt
Best of wishes
As you move on
To the next one


The after party
Behind the scenes
I’ll pay for your Uber
To get you out
Of my face
I’m single and anti-groupie
I never wanted the fame
117 · Jul 2019
Hard to Read
John Dewberry Jul 2019
Let’s talk about faults
For a moment or two
Cause we’ve all got a few
Yes it’s true

It’s about hiding
Putting up a front
As if we’re infallible
But we’re

Flammable
Ticking time bombs
Don’t strike a nerve
Sensitive
We ain’t much for
Literacy
Cause we’re Hard to read
John Dewberry Nov 2019
Missing you
Is missing a part of me
Finding you
Is taxing but love ain’t free
Hoping solace’s found

8 years on
Memories not gone
It’s alive and well
A bittersweet swell
Of emotions raise the question

Why aren’t you
Fading behind the rain
The seas of hearty pain
Behind blue eyes
They strain
Cant you fade behind the rain


Finality
Is only the beginning
Playing life
Will always cause you
To lose
115 · Nov 2019
If She’s Not III
John Dewberry Nov 2019
Lesson learned
Lesson heard
After so much stubborn behavior
She complemented you on your performance
This is what happens
When you aren’t selfish
114 · Sep 2019
MTV Sucks Now
John Dewberry Sep 2019
I miss the stupidity
You remember the days
Of "That's cool"
And " I am the great cornholio"
We miss Beavis and Butthead
114 · Sep 2019
... Equals You
John Dewberry Sep 2019
A PSA:
Everyone’s full of ****
We just call it as we see
Agenda
Conversational propaganda
You can’t convince me otherwise
You aren’t  they
They aren’t me
And you aren’t I

The eyes that see all
Blend the moiety
Of the woke
And these are our ‘leaders’
The ones you call
Sagacious

Thought leaders
Research and retread
Old thought
Convert it to binary
Tweeting in shorthand
To a generation ******
For their lack of thinking
They’ve convinced the youth that

1+1= 2
Only when it’s their truth
1+1=2
No, 1+1=you
113 · Dec 2019
Untitled
John Dewberry Dec 2019
If I
tell you what I want
Isn’t *** and I’m earnest
Will you still brush me aside?
If I told
That I’m a romantic
Would you run and hide

I’ll keep searching until I find you
Invisible, Elusive one
In the meantime
I’ll work on myself
So that when we finally talk
You’ll stay a while
John Dewberry May 2019
Selective Extortion/Moralities Abortion
God isn't wrong
But that doesn't make you right
And if I'm "wrong"
Surely there will be a smite tonight
Purely insolent
You're another desolated sycophant
Destitute and reprobate
But that doesn't mean you have to
Hate me by spewing diatribe
To resonate with your own cries
That my ethos is fallacy
Fake to you but real to me
Reel to real
Can't you see
It's immaculate perception
Miscarried contraception
Selective extortion
Moralities abortion
This is an old poem from the 2013-14 era of my writing. Hope you enjoy.
111 · May 2019
Hearts Do and See
John Dewberry May 2019
los corazones hacen y veo que eres todo para mí completamente puro amor la emoción de la intimidad
Entre tú y yo
es especial
extraordinario
John Dewberry May 2019
Words imprisoned
Inside of my brain
Uttering anechoic and pusillanimous
Conclusions of logical thinking
The ineptitude of my mind
To process at your speed
Has been assuaged by my poetic seed
It's the ****
The feeling of the pen in my hand
Those anechoic messages become strands of understanding
106 · Sep 2019
Memories
John Dewberry Sep 2019
Blue sphere spins
Fully with or without us
Time preserves mistakes
For descendants to forgive
When knowledge is lost
Or when the remedy of hindsight
Becomes to great to stomach
104 · Jun 2019
Made Up My Mind
John Dewberry Jun 2019
This is
what I’m doing
From here-on-out

College was a bust
Why am I continuing
With degrees I’ll never use?

Everything’s considered

*******— but I’m so close
To finishing
You’d think I’d do what I want

After the fact
You’re far from right
Decisions were made long ago
This is my only way out
The decisions weren’t bad
I’m legally bound  to keep silent

I’ve made up my mind
I’m going for broke
If I fail
I can always come back
To my comfort zone
104 · May 2019
Tex Mex
John Dewberry May 2019
Avoid Tex-Mex
If you value your insides
your body will thank you later

Blasting off *****
When you’re to weighed die
And you can’t come back down
103 · May 2019
After Everything/ Lorelei
John Dewberry May 2019
If only I had
Dropped that line
You would still be alive
I should've have taken that dive
But I didn't

Words escape me
As I try to save the memories
But nostalgia and regret cloud my vision
In blessed derision

And after everything
The curtains close
But the that memory remains
Aftershock bites
But the memory still remains
102 · May 2019
Quora
John Dewberry May 2019
I think we’ve reached
A new low
People have forgotten
How to google
I question how
People could be functional
With this amount of stupidity

Google it
You stupid ****
It May not be valid
But you can dig further
Inquire wisely

I’m sorry
Our generation of college
Educated
Could degenerate
How do you become

Incapable
How did you get
Such a high-paying job?

Google it
You stupid ****
It May not be valid
But you can dig further
Inquire wisely


Google it
You stupid ****
It May not be valid
But you can dig further
Inquire wisely
102 · Nov 2019
Ms. Holmes
John Dewberry Nov 2019
Articulation,manipulation
Of the truth
Bolstering an image of falsehoods
Drink up, your entertainments free
Your tabs on me


Ms. Holmes
You started with the best intentions
Now your facing a term
A period in your life
That you’d rather spin in your truth
But the truth
Is much harder to swallow

Theranos was a scam
To everyone but you
Blinded by the ambition you possessed
John Dewberry May 2019
I can’t forgive myself
For your mistakes
I still reflect on them as mine
I’m not fine
My freshman year of highschool was a hell
It’s a story I’d rather not tell
But then again I owe it to you- for what I didn’t say I  and what I didn’t do
I always came back to the memories of you
A homeschooled girl with Blonde hair
Going with her ambitions without a care for anyone else
As the silent clock struck quarter till 1
The devil addressed our reality with his ******* son
And a sinister smirk
That night came to lurk
And left me in murk
10 lines of powder- I was fine
Nothing with with my mind
6 for you and you were gone
But you kept on going- on and on
After the ninth hit I said “Stop”
But you were insisting that you wouldn’t drop
Line 10 you weren’t fine
At 12:46 am on the 11th line you died
Into my arms you fell
And for the longest time I never would tell
Anyone of what happened on that night
Six years later
And I say
That my Dad's death wasn’t in vain
But it was yours that was harder
That cold lifeless head
Those vacant eyes blankly staring at me
Though we didn’t know for certain at the time
I had felt death and had seen it before
I knew you were dead
In the present future I stay awake
Trying to stay sober
As I reflect on my college experience
And the drug intake
This girl- Rosie she was you through and through (other than her hair color)
I Thought that was a sign
But she was taken
And even if she wasn’t
I would not make her mine
But at the same time you were on my mind
So I did drugs to ease the pain
And severely messed up my brain
Lorelei
Use your voice
And sing for the angels
And hopefully you were buried with your tennis racket
I missed your funeral
Our last memory is so surreal
Your hazel eyes met my eyes one last time and we never truly said goodbye
This book
The strife it took to make all of these poems
Doesn’t compare to the magnitude  of your death paired with my fathers
This book is dedicated to you
And all mothers and daughters
And for anyone who’s ever lost someone
Life can end as fast as a bullet flies from a shotgun

R.I.P.
Rest easy
You deserve it
Can’t I believe i could’ve done more
When I begin to reflect and realize  that I should have stayed by your side
Passion and pride burning inside
I can’t cancel out my pain
Or justify
My heart’s apartheid
For years I’ve hidden behind a false smile
Nobody understands the extent of my denial
Everything that I've been I've been through
Has made me stronger
Every now and again for you I want to cry
But for you in my life of ups and downs
I try to vye as I'm hanging out to dry
If She hates me for what we know what is a lie
Then letting go is even harder- I'm confused about this
After you died the only way I knew how to keep people in my life was choke them with love and attach myself to everything to aid the scars because I couldn't lose anyone else in death or untimely separation
If my Dad’s death was a star
Then you're  the broken glass on the flashlight the shattered headlight on a car
This poem is dedicated to you
My first true love
And forever friend
I'm now atoning for the one and only sin
The one I didn't ever rightfully commit
That compressed my world
Into a blunder and a blender of confusion and surreal reality
I don't remember much of 2011 after that
And if no one sees it to be true
At least I know that I was the first one to love you and vice-versa
John Dewberry Feb 2020
Enthalpy
The heat is rising
Faster than you may think
You miscalculated
Everyone knew it
The world won’t stop without you

What’s a rat race without cheese
A sonnet without rhyme
A reason without justification
Tenderness without understanding

The world won’t stop without you
93 · Nov 2019
Writing to a Goddess
John Dewberry Nov 2019
If you wrote to a goddess
What would you say
Would you present her with thanks
And walk away?

If you wrote to a goddess
What would you do
To justify your apreciation
Austere and true
Without coming across as juvenile, unfettered, or lewd

If you wrote to a goddess
How would you start
Bearing in mind
She may not be a lover
With the same heart

If you wrote to a goddess
Who would cry first
Would it be tears of joy or regret
Would your writers voice come naturally
Or is the pens cadence over rehearsed
93 · Sep 2019
Hipsters Paradise
John Dewberry Sep 2019
As I walk through the mall
At the foot of l.A
I took to the side
Trying to keep my homies at bay
Because
I need to start a trend at school
So the even the jocks will be looking like tools
You better watch your reputation
I really dislike trippin
But a gotta though
Cause target and hot topic are out-dated
Like Weird Al’s flow
But I don't disrespect
Cause you're not a threat
Soon you and your clique will be the back  of the pack
We've been spending most our lives
Living in a hipster's paradise
We all buy hot topic products at half price
Living in a hipster's paradise
We all wear designer shoes
Living in a hipster's paradise
We're all sleep twelve then press snooze
Here in a hipster's paradise

We all look alike
So no one can tell
We're a nation of fools with nothing to sell
Our clothes be all Ralph Lauren or Adidas
We all eat the fat snacks symbolized by cheetahs
We all eat fast food
Then answer to China
Nothings  ever different can't you see
We've created hipster's paradise
Ruining you and me

Dear Lord
**** the trends
I'm begging you please
Or we'll all be bound to follow
On our knees
92 · Nov 2019
Kindergarten Mindframe
John Dewberry Nov 2019
We want this, and we want that
No regards, no second guess
No Vaseline, no perkiest
The number of *******
We’re partaking in
Is leaving us bent over
Blindfolded and gagged in many ways

I’ve never been one to preach
But who’s the ******* leach
That guides us to breach
Such a faulty status quo

We’re Numbed to other people’s pain
All for gain
Nothing stops the fame
We’re yearning haphazardly
Possessing

A Kindergarten mindframe
Kindergarten mindframe
Is life merely a game to win
That we’re losing in spades
With our kindergarten mindframe
92 · Nov 2019
Nursery Rhyme
John Dewberry Nov 2019
There was a snake
That lived in a cake
And he whispered sweat lies
He came last week
To sue for peace
With a pair of bankrupt eyes

There’s a woman
Who lives in a thimble
She wanted to be a *** symbol
She was attractive there’s no doubt
But her actions were saved when the internet  went out

Their was a cactus
Short and stout
He was thirsty
“ Water” he’d shout
puridy me and make me whole
Holes in my border I’ll make swole
My country needs so I’ll chrun out shots
Of myself in the form of acid rain
91 · Sep 2019
My Hearts Apartheid
John Dewberry Sep 2019
My vanity decried
feelings are massively tried
tested- a hearts apartheid

feelings inside put out
to the side as i hide away
the contradictions

Rain falls on my head
a hearts apartheid isn't dead
blue eyes hide fire inside
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