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Isaac Aug 2023
The grooves of the door handle
clasp too perfectly about your
fingerprints. Push, don’t pull

and enter into my splendor.
The expanse of the corridor
is slightly familiar to you. The
gait, the wait, the bate
of your breath and the silence
that follows and the violence
that crashes through the expanse
of my corridor are
slightly familiar to me.

The master bedroom is
straight down the street and
a left turn after two blocks,
past the cafe you irregularly
patronised for all those years
where I could get but a glimpse
of the sunrise through the window.
It has a his and his, a walk-in
wardrobe and easily removable
wallpaper. If you would like to tear
it down because the deja vu
is too strong then I have about three
hundred other instances of solo
interactions between you and me, and a
colour palette no other interior
redesigner could ever possibly imag-

You peek past the slightly neglected
washroom, clinical scents wafting out
like blood washing off wounds that are
never meant to stop bleeding but
rather are orifices we pretend to
not understand. The leaky faucet hums
a tune you played on the harmonica
three years ago. You recognise off-white
tiles from the freckles of your face. I am
in the medicine cabinet, just waiting
for you to reach in and patch me up
along with the ever-bleeding orifices but even now
as I ****** the faucet with a hundred
unfinished melodies the bathroom is still
flooding.

The living room is a graveyard. But you
can’t smell the bodies because I set a
reminder for myself to put on deodorant
every alternate week when I stumbled
past you to get to the same side of the street as you
but each time a different car
would kiss my knees and colour my bruises in and
each time you would
already be
gone.

This next room is under construction.

This next room is under construction.

This next room is utter destruction.

-

I reach into the medicine cabinet and grab at nothing
and suddenly the wallpaper is just the pattern
of my shirt sleeve because I have long forgotten
the name of the cafe I saw you in once.

I watch the expansive corridor become
fragments of impossible sidewalks and
mono-coloured zebra crossings. I can
no longer see the sunrise through
the window. I have never seen the sunrise.

Do you know my name?

-

The grooves of the door handle
clasp too awkwardly about your
fingerprints. Don’t pull, don’t push.

Enter into my splendor.
a deranged rant abou wanting what i cant have
Isaac Apr 2023
Your love is a violence I've learnt to love.

Too harsh for a melody,
to feeble to be worth a shout,
so the words lay upon their grave
of poetry.
Isaac Mar 2023
as the tide comes in and washes out,
my love follows suit, on this roundabout
as the moon awakes, and waxes and wanes,
my love soon tailgates, cuts into your lane
as the sun ascends, and rises and sets
my love imitates, amber signs for regret

as the tide continues to come and go,
my love follows every high and low
my love is tired, my love is slow
my love is putting me on death row

but for as long as the dawns still crack
my love for you never dares to lack

my love knows your love, after all,
and my love is in the backseat
in case your car stalls.
Isaac Jan 2023
melodies lie bare
for I am far too ashamed
to give them a name.
Isaac Oct 2022
who knew love could expire?
i certainly didn't.

but when you leave anything out there
in the open, in the cold,
left to exist on it's own -
it will surely die.
Isaac Oct 2022
again, i am in a lull.
sleepless nights
but by my own hand,
i torture myself when there
is nothing to torture me

when you grow so parallel,
so close to pain,
it never sickens you how
you enjoy it.
Isaac Aug 2022
i can barely put this feeling
into words.

it is awkward, it is uncannily
difficult to deal with, and i am desperate
to let it out but there is nothing
i can do.

there is a war in my mind,
and both sides
are losing.

it is not silent, it is
a low buzz, a muted
whisper, not really there
but still so real.

it makes its way into every
thought, every action, an invader
and intruder, an insatiable,
feral desire that you never
really know

i am trying to go both
ways at once, leave and enter,
exist yet be nothing at all

right and wrong are
never too far apart, and
i am getting tired of choosing.
the desperation for human connection is ironically so hampered by not being able to trust yourself and trust anyone else - it almost hurts.

how can they tell me to believe when I've done that all my life and every single time it's ended up the same way?

I will not willingly place myself in a position of disappointment. And yet...
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