Death sits on the edge
Contemplating suicide
She hates life so much

a demon
fast asleep deep inside
waiting for the moon
to give him a sign
he comes out at night
lurking from behind
the door in the basement

once innocent
now lost to the power
of the wolf
a creature who tore
his heart up in pieces
infected it with evil
and changed it
into a monster

when awoken
he is ready to devour life
eat, **** in just one bite
there’s no mercy
he wants ****** and blood
he won’t stop

it’s full moon tonight
watch out
the werewolf is going to hunt
the beast from within
is coming out to feast

tomorrow he’ll go back
where he came from
leaving you with the
dreadful consequence
of his action

all alone
crying in the dark
with no one by your side

We fell drunk in love
Broke some dishes and bottles
We woke up sober...

Yesterday, I touched the edge
Felt, how sharp it was
Pitch black, on the other side

A tiny speck stayed on my skin
Now it is growing, mutating,
spreading all over me

First, it reached my *******
Changed my attitude

Now all my fingers
are in the middle...

Next, it started to cover my eyes
And all I see becomes black

Soon it will get to the heart
Turning it black inside out

I must admit, I quite like it
Can’t decide if it’s good or bad...

Lucky, lucky, lucky me
Growing on a wealthy golden tree
On juicy branches living peacefully
Oh lucky, lucky me

Lucky, lucky, lucky me
Picking sweet fruits of prosperity
Each day luxurious as can be
Oh lucky, lucky me

Lucky, lucky, lucky me
Green leaves of money surrounding me
Buying me things, fulfilling me
Oh lucky, lucky me

Lucky, lucky, lucky me
Riches replace true love for me
I have it all, my fortune and me
Oh lucky, lucky me

Lucky, lucky, lucky me
Dying, on a wealthy golden tree
Diamonds and treasures hugging me
Oh lucky... lucky me...

If I could turn back time
I would wake up with you
Sit together, on your
favorite bench in the garden,
and be silent
I would look into your eyes,
and see how tired they really are
Touch your hands,
to understand the weight
they carry every day
I would listen to you
Hear the words coming
from your heart
Learn your fears, your hopes
and dreams
We would talk about your childhood
The scars you got growing up
About us...
How to fix what’s broken
Find the missing piece of a puzzle
How much we truly love each other
I would open up my heart
Show you what’s inside
Let you in...
We would joke,
and laugh until it hurts
Together,
Dad with his little girl
We would hug and cry
and it all would be all right

If I could only turn back time...

And I saw beauty
Beyond imagination
When I closed my eyes

I am sitting here
Deconstructing another bottle
Looking at the bottom
Trying to figure out what it says

Stay away
It screams
I can hear it clearly
Don’t come close to the fire
it’s always burning

I am sitting here
Thinking
Of you
Figuring out what you said
and what it meant

For a little more
Give, a little less

I don’t need you
I don’t want you
I don’t want to
want you
But…

I’m thirsty

I could drink
every bottle of whisky
and still not have enough

Pour it up
Another broken glass
I’m to sober now
Fill me up with the fire
of your eyes

Tell me how it feels
Knowing
How far down I’m falling

Trying to reach

You

Nocturnal creature
A daughter of darkness
Gray, inconspicuous, small
Flies through the night
with a broken wing

She’s cold, so tired
Carrying heavy stones
from the past
Damaged by the weight of
secrets from the other side

Stayed for so long in
the underworld
Hurt more than enough
Fed up with blackness
she flows between tears
searching for exit

A way out from mourning
and despair
Light at the end of the tunnel
A warm glimmer of promise

She sees it now
A tiny speck on the horizon
Distant ray of hope for the future
A spark of a dream bright
and beautiful

Mesmerized flies right to it
Encouraged by the power
of the feeling
She’s ready

Prepared
to sacrifice everything
She knows
The light is worth it all...

Sometimes when it rains
I visit the Wasteland Hotel
Don’t ever go there mama says
But I don’t listen

I pack my empty bags
And I’m ready to arrive

The hotel is placed in the middle
of nowhere
Most famous spot in here

Through windows of sadness
grey turns into blackness
The doors are always closed
No chairs, if I wait

Bath full of tears invites me in
Bed of insomnia is ready
Made fresh from anxiety and stress
Best quality...

The food is great too
For a starter, panic attack is served
Then, the main course,
depression in dark sauce
Followed by, no dessert

Death smiles to me while preparing
my drink, we usually chat for a bit

That flirt!

He tries to convince me, to stay there
with him
Says that he loves me, wants me
...that’s when I leave

What a place!

Sometimes I go there, when it rains

Do you, go there sometimes too ?

You shine in the moonlight
Like a sparkling beacon of promise
Worth every drop of sweat and tears
Worth everything

The prize
A reward for years of miserable life
A well-deserved meal after a famine
The most divine taste of glory

It’s been so long
I watch you glittering in the dark
Listen to your enchanting song
Dream of you, day and night

Lost myself on the way
Bruised and cut millions of times
Bleeding hurt left behind
Never gave up

Followed the golden trail
One step at a time
falling down-climbing high
Reaching to where you are

The day is breaking
I can smell you
You’re so close
I can almost touch you...

I’ve been drinking…

Way too much of pain lately
Letting myself get drunk
on misery
Sleepwalking through life
Balancing on the edge
Self destructing

I’ve been eating…

Too much fear for a while
Letting negativity slip
under my skin
Poisoning me
Blurring my vision
Filling me up

I’ve been sick…

So sick and tired
Of self medicating
Using drugs prescribed by evil
Being addicted to self harming
Doubting

I’ve been living…

In my own private little hell
Build with my own hands
Suffocating me with
the power of hate
Force feeding with meals
of neglect

It’s time…

The time has come
to start a new diet

It’s time to love myself.

Help! Cried the money
I am looking for my worth
I feel so empty

He got used to it

Keeping his heart
in the fridge

Sometimes he opens
the door to look at it

He stands there
in the doorway
and watches it

Beating

In a calm
and steady rhythm

He feels tempted
to take it out

Warm it up

But he never does

He leaves it there
on a special shelve

Safe

In the emergency
he knows what to do

He simply turns the
temperature down

When it gets too warm

…

It is pouring
The raindrops are flowing
in the stream of tears
Heaven torn to shreds,
doesn’t want to stitch
back together again
I am weak
Hidden in my shell
Waiting for it to finally 
crack open
 
I look through the window
The world so empty and cold
My eyes hungry
Searching for the glimmer of hope
I see one, tiny,
floating right towards me
 
I squint my eyes
 
You're there...
Summery meadow
gently rocked by the wind
Trembling hands picking flowers
Smell of happiness
 
I quickly catch 
the leftovers of light
I’ll hide them deep 
In the place, where the
tentacles of darkness,
can’t reach
 
I pray
Repeat the words
over and over...
 
It's raining and raining
The rivers of sorrow are
flowing incessantly
Is it my fault
What have I done
Have I sinned
Please give me a sign
I don’t want to cry
 
I close my eyes
 
You’re here...
A spark growing stronger
Your loving eyes so warm
Shining bright like a star 
in the blackness of the night
 
And
 
I am weak, hidden in my shell
But I know

You will split it wide open…

We are empty
Our feelings spilled all over
the floor
A reflection of dark moon in
the puddles
There is nothing left
All the memories of the sun,
shine no more
Buried, deep down in the shadows

Our fortified walls,
built persistently over the years
Grew resistant and sturdy
A lost echo, of a thousand
love messages
Rings quietly in the dark
Never reaching our hearts

We are so far away
Even when we are together
The reflection of dark moon
locked in our eyes
And we feel its power, every
time we look at each other

All I hope for
Is a glimpse of the sun shining
through our hearts
Filling us up, with rays of love
To remember again what we
used to have
And to crumble down our walls

Mama, do you remember?

You keep the photographs
under your pillow
Each night still kiss us
goodnight
All those memories of us
you treasure deep
in your heart

Mama, do you understand?

Life rushes away, runs so fast
It’s hard to keep up
Each second lost
cost more

Mama, why are you so sad?

You sit here by your window
All alone
Waiting for someone
you love to come home

Mama, why are you crying?

There are tears streaming
down your face
Your eyes filled with
pools of lonely sadness

Mama, is there still hope?

Can we go back
Is there still time for us
Can we fix what’s broken
in our lives

Mama, what is it?

Today is your day
to celebrate
So, mama smile
Cause today
is Mother’s Day…

You are soooooo stupid!
Said the head to the bleeding heart
You let yourself get hurt

Look at me!
I don’t feel anything! I think!
I’m never broken! Always happy!

I can’t do that said the heart
If I won’t feel
I’ll freeze and die

I’d rather hurt, break, bleed
a thousand times
but feel alive!

This climb is tough
Days of pushing up,
take its toll
Hands tired of pulling higher
Legs heavy and slow
But the promise of reaching
summit,
is enough to go on

The roughness of the surface,
cuts the skin deep
It’s hardened now
Doesn’t feel anything
Cold wind mixed with ice
blows fiercely, blinding eyes
Taking breath away
Freezing the lungs almost
to death

Darkness is taking over
It’s so scary in those moments
Doubt creeps in
Whispering
Wouldn’t it be easier to simply
let go
Fly freely in the air, like a bird
It’s ok to give up…

Time to make the choice
Right now
It’s time to move on
To push on
Forward against all odds

The only way is up

High,
to the top of this mountain
of mine…

Sleep, sleep, sleep little one
Dream the sweetest dreams
 
In your dreams
everything’s possible
Close your eyes, little one
Go to sleep
 
Soon love and hope will
come through the door 
Give you presents 
tied with a ribbon
 
Unwrap each one with 
joy in your heart
Dream little one,
dreams from heaven 
 
Sleep, sleep, sleep little one
Fall asleep already
 
May Angels hold you
gently in their arms
Protect you from harm
when you’re sleeping
 
Close your eyes, 
close your ears little one
Keep away from the monsters 
while dreaming

Your daddy’s high and
your mama’s drunk
Stay asleep little one, 
don’t listen
 
Sleep, sleep, sleep little one
Dream the sweetest dreams 
In your sleep you are safe
and loved
 
Dream little one, dream...

I’m looking for you
Where are you
I don’t know where to find you
Yesterday in my dream we kissed
Now I know that you exist

I wished upon a Star to show
me the way
But she was to busy today
I thought the Sun might know
where to go
But the Sun was to hot to talk
I asked the Darkness to let
me through
But the Darkness wasn’t
in the mood
I climbed on top of the Mountain
Searched the Fairytale Lands
Combed through the leaves of
the Jungle
Sieved the grains of the Sands

I searched everywhere

But yeserday in my dream we kissed
Now I know that You exist.

It’s enough
already…

Hurting,
over ribs
of starved love
protruding from the sand

With just one sentence
you started detox
in my poisoned by hope
tissues

Is it time
to bury my personal god
with a substitute for a funeral ?

No point to begin
the resurrection prayer

I'm here
with emptiness in my heart
which burns more
than hydrochloric acid
of rejection

Wind of renewal
is humming a song
of new opportunities

But I can’t hear it

It’s raining with shattered glass
from a broken window…

You will find me there
Sitting comfortably on the sofa
Drinking wine from a plastic
cup

We can chat, have a great laugh
You might be surprised that
I can swear from time to time

Sometimes I’m smart
Very often stupid
I’ll make you sad than happy

I’ll misunderstand you
Fiercely argue with you
Then, apologize with tears
in my eyes

I’ll shower you with affection
and love
Plenty of that in my heart

Don’t look for me among angels
Don’t search among demons too
I am right there, in the middle

A human

I’m still here
Where you left me 
Behind the closed door
Going through the memories
of us
It’s been so long
I know I should move on
But I can’t 
I don’t want to let go
It’s been two years since we broke up
Two years of sleepwalking 
in the dark
And every day of not having 
you here feels like a lifetime wasted
Empty and meaningless
I’ve heard rumors
that you found someone
That you’re in love
I’ve heard that I am a fool 
waiting for you
But I don’t care
I can be a fool for you
I’ll do whatever it takes
to have your love again
Just tell me I have a chance
and I’ll wait forever
Behind the closed door
With hope that maybe one day
I’ll hear the key in the lock again…

Ha ha ha!
I did it again
I made you laugh
It is like a sneeze
Disease
Infection
It is contagious
Be careful run away or you will be happy again...

Look what I found
A piece of a broken heart
Someone lost it
I found it on the ground
Looking hopeless
I’ll pick it up and take care of it
I will put it in the pocket of my soul
I will plant it in the garden of feelings
I will water it with hope
Maybe one sunny day it will grow
Maybe again it will be whole.