Everything is numb, my heart beating in my ears like a drum.

It hurts to breathe, as I slowly lose sense of reality and everything is a blur.

As the tears fill my eyes, the corrupt thoughts leaking out through them,

I feel the numbness leave and all the pain hit at once.

A storm of thoughts fall from my eyes I watch my self die.

Every ounce of light being drowned by the black ink,

harboring all the unreasonable pain and anxieties that lay dormant in my head.

Feeling forgotten and pushed aside by all who matter,

I can’t help but to feel as useless as an empty platter passed around at a party

Everything matters, but nothing pulls me to care.

Everything hurts as I try to heal the bleeding wounds holding me captive in my own hell.

Sitting and letting the pain grow.

I shouldn’t hurt this much. I’ve no reason too.

But the demons in my head say I deserve it.

Nightmares and anxiety, sleeping too much or sleeping too little.

Always tired it’s inevitable.

Tired of living, tired of trying, tired of everything.

Maybe if I continue to fall, the most important people of all will see.

Maybe they will see me desperately trying to breathe as the black ink fills my lungs.

The ink stains my lungs, maybe if I really show what goes through my head people will agree I should be dead.

The more depressed I get the more fine I feel, my control is tearing at the seams.

Nothing feels real as I’m trying to think of a new deal.

A new deal as in a new way to cope.

I have tried to pray the pain away, but all I think of is hanging from a rope.

Smokes, alcohol, slicing my skin to bits.

No matter how hard I try the demons are still crawling from their pits.

To wreck havoc on my soul.

Maybe if I let them win people will realize that I was falling.

As I lay in bed bawling, I wonder why I’m staling.

Maybe if I end it all..I won’t have to fall.

Every part of me strives to be like the sky.

Always beautiful no matter the amount of dark clouds in the sky. Someone will always find the sky beautiful.

The sky can hold the most corrupt damaging things, it can cause tragedies,

but even those are still beautiful.