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Anonymistress Mar 2020
I'd rather not know.
I'd rather shut you out.

Not because I dont care,
but because the thought of you living your best life, happy, is enough.

Enough to spare myself the heartache of watching you walk away one more time.
I can't let you in, not anymore.
Anonymistress Mar 2020
It's a sad game we play.
        Showing up unexpectedly,
         And over again.
       Adjusting to your unreliability.
        The sequence of your visits.
         Because a life with portions of
         your love...
   Is more bearable than your absence altogether.
Although it's better when you stay.
Anonymistress Mar 2020
Am I your weakness, the one you tell yourself you don't deserve.
Or am I just your fix.
Either way, nothing stops you from leaving.

(it's not a question, I don't want to know the answer)
Anonymistress Mar 2020
I don't know how to let you back in.
Nothing I want more than to surrender to the thought of happiness in your arms.
But you dont know how to stay.
Time and time again, you've proven what I didn't want to accept.
No more open doors.
We pushed eachother away, but you won.
Anonymistress Mar 2020
Do you ever wish the best for the ones that have done you wrong? Despite all the hurt they put you through, you want nothing more than for them to find the happiness they deserve. Even if it doesn't involve you.
The day it hits : let them go and find peace in it.
Anonymistress Mar 2020
That "once in a lifetime" connection goes unmatched.
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