I'd rather not know.
I'd rather shut you out.

Not because I dont care,
but because the thought of you living your best life, happy, is enough.

Enough to spare myself the heartache of watching you walk away one more time.

It's a sad game we play.
You,
        Showing up unexpectedly,
Over,
         And over again.
Me,
       Adjusting to your unreliability.
Cherishing
        The sequence of your visits.
Settling,
         Because a life with portions of
         your love...
...
   Is more bearable than your absence altogether.

Am I your weakness, the one you tell yourself you don't deserve.
Or am I just your fix.

I don't know how to let you back in.
Nothing I want more than to surrender to the thought of happiness in your arms.
But you dont know how to stay.
Time and time again, you've proven what I didn't want to accept.
No more open doors.

Do you ever wish the best for the ones that have done you wrong? Despite all the hurt they put you through, you want nothing more than for them to find the happiness they deserve. Even if it doesn't involve you.

That "once in a lifetime" connection goes unmatched.