The first time I saw her, I was just doing my daily routine
Never saw eyes prettier, and she smoked ****
Her smile took my breath away,
Thought another man already had her heart
So I didn't ask for her number then
Two long weeks we were apart

She'd come over from time to time, loved my product then shoot the ****
Almost biffed trying to jump a fence
That's the moment that it hit
She had to be mine, make it legit

Forever n' Always
That's what I'd say
I"d love you more and more each and every day
In this universe with you I'd want to stay
I'd know I could be loved starting today

The moment I saw him, walking with no shirt in the sun
I knew I loved him
His eyes a loaded gun
When mine met his, instant stun

He was everything I craved
Sarcastic and a bad ***
Chivalrous and sweet
Twenty different scar stories, each one unique

He told me I was beautiful and we had our first embrace
I press my chest harder against his
That's when his arms became my new favorite place

Forever n' Always
That's what I say
I want to love you more and more each and everyday
In this universe with you I want to stay
I want to be loved starting today

Our walls broke down for each other
Our heart in their most vulnerable space
So terrified and ready for what's starting to happen
Each basking in how good our love tastes

One year and now we laugh and we play
Both know each others buttons and what not to say
Best friends, every secret we have shared
Loving that we took that leap, loving because we dared

Forever n' Always
That's what we say
Love each other more and more each and every day
And in this universe, our hearts live and stay
Never thinking we could be loved until that fateful day

They call her heartbreaker
Ride you so hard she'll take your soul
Use it to rejuvenate herself
Savior it in sips
Finger licking taste of stealth
She'll call you baby
But it's better for her health when your gone
No more singing the black birds sad song
Trying to be someone she's not
You're so shallow
Heart full of empty gallows
Look at the mess that it's brought
You've got her wrong if you think she'd let you take over
Give up her chains and leather
Not even close, no man can control her

You'll fight in the beginning
She'll get you good and mad
Then when you both know she's winning
That's when the air smells sad
She depleted your emotions
The strength it took mentally the equivalent of swimming oceans

Numb and awe struck
Who knew the dragon within her would swallow you whole
Defend her, pleasing you was always her goal
Now you're always with her
The shard that pings her heart
Tragically romantic
Two puzzle peices put together that were meant to be apart
She's taken the best of you
But you're still the worst thing within
Deep down she hates herself for even letting you in.

I've become the girl my mother told me to avoid.
I'm the friend you shouldn't hangout with
The **** who can't say "no" to the boys
I make impulsive decisions
My demons and I are one..
I don't think of the consequences, only of the fun

I hurt people I love, simply by hurting myself
I admit I inhaled the drugs knowing what they would do to my health

And for some reason.. I was okay with it all
In that moment, I didn't care that I would eventually fall
I wanted the high, and I wanted the low
I wanted to scream it out!
I wanted you to know.
I wanted to say "*******!" for sleeping with my friend
I wanted to call you a liar and say "Never again."
I wanted to slap that smile off your face and watch you grovel on the floor..
I wanted to.. but I didn't, because I'm the one who is the *****.

I used to give others so much trust,
Believe in every promise they made.
But all the tears have turned my heart to rust
And all my compassion and loyalty is corroding away

Deep inside I feel the innocent girl I used to be
I cry for her, and she cries for me
I feel her reach out her hand into the darkness of my soul
And this time, instead of relying on someone else to grab it,
I'm gonna reach in and pull.
And when she emerges,
that beautiful, caring, loving dove
I'm gonna surround her with nothing but pure beauty and love.

As the rain leaps from the clouds
I sit here and I write
Pondering all the mistakes I've made and how to make them right
A breath of fresh air and the taste of the delicate mists from the splattering landing of the rain
Are just enough to ease my inner pain.

The ducks on the pond ruffle their feathers
The beauty of nature overcomes my craving for guilty pleasures
I sit and I listen to the rain and the water clash
The sound always comforting, however long it lasts
The night sky is charming as it sprinkles down gently with delight
My mind is clear and my soul feels right

Just to stare up at the sky and envision my dreams
You've got to love the little things

Steam rolled off the Earth's lush grass as the morning dew and the sky collided.
I walked barefoot through the field of blossoming trees, delighted.
Wet petals stuck to my feet and the chirping birds sang my hearts song to the breeze.
I made eye contact with you and smiled as the breeze knocked petals from the trees..
So much more delicate and feminine than falling leaves.

We take a step toward each other, suspicious and a little scared.
We take another, then stop; getting better prepared.
The air is full of shimmering specks,
The breeze, the sound of a Harp's strum.
My heart starts racing and my mind is suddenly struck dumb.

We take another step, and we are toe to toe.
You attach your hand to mine, a rush of euphoria washes over me and I know you'll never let it go.
We bring our lips together and the moment that they met,
Something happened that I'll never forget.

A spark ignited between us and engulf us into flames,
Our bodies turn to ashes and the wind swirls them 'round,
mixing them with petals into a neat pile on the ground.
Like a Phoenix, we rose again, in perfect health.
We are stronger, smarter, happier versions of ourselves.

I know I'm not the person you want me to be.
I don't think that anyone would want me for more than a day or two.
At least, not after they've gotten to know me and learned all the stupid **** I've put myself through.

I just want to be an author.
I want to stop chasing the high.
I wanna be able to truly look into myself and for once not feel the urge to cry.

Sometimes, I feel like there are thousands of daggers pointing straight toward my heart and everyday a different dagger of the same sorrow moves itself a little closer.

Almost 19 years I've been on this planet, and I still don't feel at home.
I've never been in love or had the idea that I was in love.
But the loving of many men I have known.

Alone.

I never go to sleep alone, but I always seem to wake up that way.
Alive when I sleep and dead during the day.

So many emotions swirling inside that I don't even know what to say.

If I let you in, it would be to both our despair.
Because once I knocked down the walls and showed you the ruins inside,
You wouldn't want to stay there.

I do what I want.
I'm running toward the sun.
Forget about obeying blindly,
Rebellion is just too ******* fun.

You can say that everyone is different,
But that's just another way of saying no one is.
Few have a bright enough fire in them for anyone to notice.

Why are you all just sitting still?
Let's go for an adventure!

Two hearts in the moonlight
Hands entwined and kisses wet and right
They live for each other and the romance of the night

The moon weeps with passion
She never saw a love so true
This is the love story that is me and you

Your touch so gentle, like nothing I've ever known
Our love so complex that it's simple
And it grows and grows

We dance on diamonds and ruby's
Because we our love is above those things
It's patient and celebratory
It sings, it sings

When I was sick and scared you dried my tears
Although it's only been months, I feel I've known you for years
Your arms like warm honey when you hold me
Your grasp sweet and pure
My emptiness couldn't be conquered
But your laugh wielded the magic sword

When anger strikes in a vicious flame
We always calm it down
We're always there to make the each other smile when one wants to frown

You hold the key to my heart
I once had it chained up inside
You freed my spirit
You kept me alive

I love you completely
You are the one always go to
You are an angel
Thank you for being you

I miss your satisfaction and amusement
I miss how you always made me feel right
I miss the rush and euphoria
I miss the sleepless nights

I miss the *** and the rock n' roll
I miss the illusion of love
I miss the smoke I used to blow
I'm missing you, my drug

I loved the endless ideas that would come streaming in
And never being home
I miss the secret hiding place
I miss the smell of rust with a paint thinner undertone

I miss the girl who started it all
I wonder how and where she is
We had only met a few weeks ago
But she showed me how that other half lives

I'm sorry I couldn't go through with it
My mother got me out
I know everyday I'm better off without you
A conclusion, that sometimes, I strongly doubt

I've done all this to myself;
And gee, wasn't it "some kind of ride.."?
They all say I've got so much potential,
But I seem to have misplaced my mind.
Awe..

I'm okay.
Seriously. "Hahah!
It happens all the time.."

****!
I am always letting the people I love down.
I rarely write anymore. Compared to the apparent standards.
The root for all my actions I still haven't found.
Yet I am brave enough to say that I let them pass me around..

Anyway..

I try to draw and paint,
But, absolutely nothing truly inspiring or motivational comes to mind.
Also, ugh um , I'm a little more than a wee bit bad at drawing what I see in my head.

But I love art.
Sometimes it just says what words cannot.
God knows I could use help expressing my feelings.
I'm selfish.
Oh! That reminds me, good luck guessing my next move. ;)

Hahah, admit it. That transition was pretty smooth.


Teehee

Feeling pretty playful.
Too bad I'm such an ***!
Why don't I feel guilty for my actions?..

Because I behaved the way I felt and I did it with passion.

**But, seriously.

Today has been the longest day.
Funny, because nothing was done.
I think of all the things in life I've thrown away.
And I'm so happy you didn't let yourself be one.

The big picture is so hard to frame.
Must be it's size, I guess.
Today has been the longest day.
Maybe because I'm a mess.

Cigarettes on my breath,
And a shiver in my sigh.
Thought I would revel in my freedom from all that I shrugged off my shoulders,
But, that was a lie.

So, by and by I wait here.
By and by
Today was the longest day.
Someone help me understand why.

I gaze in your eyes while my hand rest gently on your cheek,
You gaze right back and then, after a few moments, you ask me what it is that I think.
I feel you were made out of clay, just for me

I'm so in love with you.
Your sandy-brown hair,
The way your top lip quivers every time you think of something you want to say but don't,
The way you love me even when I think you wont.

I love the way you glow when we venture in nature,
That childish grin and deep laugh that you rarely do because you tricked yourself into thinking that it wasn't everything I ever hoped it would be,
The way I feel with you,
The way you feel next to me.

You filled up my heart,
It's over flowing with love and happiness
You've helped me to fulfill my heart"s wildest dream.
I couldn't of asked for more than this.
You brought me back to life,
I wouldn't have been able to crawl out of the darkness on my own.
You are my one true love.
Your heart is my home.

Waking up
Hello Starling
Don't give me that look
I'm no one's darling

Feels so good to roll in the tar
Get a little black on my wings
Yes, I'm turning dark
Goodbye childish things

Mmm, feels so good
Rub me all over
Venom courses in my bones
Vibrating, high when I'm sober

I want jump out of my skin
Scream, punch you, then let you in
Yeah baby, again and again

I'm the dragon of this castle
Princess at my worse
Conquer me, hah
If you can take my hurt

If I could just see your love for me burning in your eyes,
Please.
Just one more time.
It would be more beautiful than even the sweetest of rhymes.

I'm lost in the darkness,
And that light in your eyes..
That was my way out.
I'm sorry.
I left you in the darkness when my light, first, went out.

Now, blindly, we enter this chaotic world.
Searching for a light that, just maybe, we should have never seen.
A light that was never really there..
A light that was just a dream.

So hard to believe it could have been real.
Hard to believe we could just walk away.
To believe I'm not alone
Believe night could ever turn to day
But on we live.
And so, the world turns.
Until my heart finally stops moaning your name,
Until the curves of your face are no longer what it yearns,
I'll reach out my hand.
I'll listen to the wind.
I'll lay down my burdens.
I will find that light again.

If the world ended today
If everything was suddenly just swept away
What would be the last thing you wish you would've had the chance to say?

When she was a child she dreamed of putting her toes in the sand
She dreamed of the waves rolling into her as she breathed in the salt of the ocean
She never thought her life would stray so far from her plans
Instead imaginary sand fell through her hands

That sand was her happiness turning to dust that swirled up and blinded her of life's lust
She still cries salt water out of her eyes
And she flows through life like she's riding the tides
She's still an Space Underground that thrives
Though she holds monsters within thats hold answers to questions you wish you hadn't of asked and when they awaken she goes into a storm fast  

A hurricane and water-tornado without even herself being warned
Visiting only her surface will likely leave you burned and scorned
Many jump in to escape the heat but its often terrifying or fatal when they travel too deep
The deeper down you go the more mosters you'll meet
And get pressurized into a place thats cold and dark
Where the monsters stay to feed off the parts of the anger you feel for going in too far

For her monster's know where the sweet spots are and their picky eaters as they feed on the parts of you that regret going in and the parts of you that didn't understand
Throwing their trash and ******* in her hora
Killing her beauty like the dying coral
What she needs is someone in suited in a special armour
Someone who will sink down just defeat the monsters but not harm her
Someone to show her just how vast she is and hows she's teaming with life even after what others did
She is mighty and though she is deep
She is powerful and far from weak
#howdeepwouldyougo
-Taylor Aldous