You made me feel special.
For a short time, you gave me the idea
that you might be the one.
But instead you left me hanging.
With a reason which you never said.

If until now you still don't know.
I'd take this opportunity to express such thought.
I'd like to tell you I love you.
For no apparent reason.

Now you've left.
You brought with you half of my heart.
It left me thinking and wondering.
Is love really not for us?

Slowly I try to be the normal me.
"I'm okay. I'm fine."
Its my only answer every time.
I don't know when. I don't know how.
Up until when would I wear this stupid mask of mine?

It is only when one feels the hurt
That one truly understands
That love is similar to a game of poker
It is sweet yet sorrowful at the same time
Slowly you allow yourself to focus in the poisonous goal of winning the game
That you forget the possibility of losing everything

She can't move on.
She says she's fine.
But deep inside, everything in her,
Reminded her of him.

She doesn't know if he moved on.
He acts like nothing happened.
He was okay. He was more than okay.
Deep inside she's struggling hard
To know how, why?

When can the two ends meet?
Will there be a moment wherein she can say that:
Nothing changed.
We're still friends. Close friends?

She wished that she could read his mind.
She wished she knew what was happening.
She wished she knew how to love like a man.
So that in the end,
She won't cry

Isn't it amusing how great the impact of love is?
That immediately after the tragic ending you decide to become someone else.
Because you feel like everything you've ever accomplished was carelessly demolished.
The little pieces that is left will try and fill in the spaces in you the next time you decide to fix yourself.
That is probably why a resemblance to the previous one is seen.
How? Why?
Because people like to explore.
That even if you know that you both will end up hurting each other you still try.
Because each of you is trying to prove that you are different.
Somehow forcing to show your uniqueness.
Due to the slight illusion of the love itself.

We are friends.
Who always talked to each other.
Who knows each others preferences.
Who shares everything.

We are friends.
Who thought that we're better together.
Who thought that we could be together.
Who said we liked each other.

We are friends.
Who grew apart.
Who now knows nothing about the other.
Who never talks to each other.

We are friends.
Who once were lovers.
Who once thought that there's forever.
Who once cared for each other.

We are friends.
Who will forever be awkward.
Who would rather leave than be together.
Who would choose another.
Who, if given a second chance, would start from the bottom.

Everyday we struggle to find peace within us.
Everyday we try to make things work out.
Everyday we stress ourselves over things that didn't work for us.
Everyday we try to find solutions for it.
And everyday we hope to solve one day at a time.

At 3 A. M., when it's calm and quiet.
I lie awake, alone in my room.
All sorts of things come and enter my mind.
Like a speeding f1 race car.
Laying long tracks of happenings in my life.
When I should be sleeping,
My mind wakes me up and forces me to piece together my shattered life.
It wills me to seek answers to my simple yet unanswered questions
And to find motivation and purpose in this tiring cycle of crap throw at my face.

3 A.M.; there it is again. It comes crashing to my head.
All those that has been said and done.
All those which cannot be brought back.
Those broken friendships and failed relationships.
Those remarkable and irrational reasons given to me.
And how stupid I was for just accepting it.

At 3 A.M., I think about things that can't be changed.
And how it amuses me so much I totally forget that I was the one jeopardized.
I think about the times when I should've taken action; but I didn't.
Those times when I should've let out my side; but just smiled.
Times when anger took over; I just didn't want to talk.
And now I wonder, if this things didn't happen
Would I be happier?
Would I be contented with what's happening?
Or would I wish that it will be just like what it is now?

One day, after a seemingly quick but a long drink, I realize.
My life is so much better not knowing why.
I am successfully living my life
Peacefully contented with everything
But without those people who made me feel not worthy of even just a good reason.

I can't stop thinking. I lie awake until 3 A.M..
I don't know how to make my thoughts stop, so I figured a solution.
I wrote you a letter which goes like this:
"Hi. How are you? It's been a while since we last talked. Our friendship ended up with a cheap spat. How are you with him? Going strong? I hope you realize why I got mad. I lost control. Until now I can't figure out your reasons. It just doesn't fit in. But I accepted it anyway. So let's move on. I want you to know that I'm happy for you guys. I know that you're in good hands cause I experienced it myself. But please don't try and question about whatever's happening now. It is a consequence of your choice. I hope you understand that it comes with the package.
Forgiveness? It happened way before. But forgiving and forgetting isn't exactly what I stand for. All things come flashing back whenever we cross paths. So I think that this will take a very long time to fix. And before I forget, I'd like you to pass this message from me to that guy. "Don't try to redo that stupidity you've done to me because the extent of your damage is unimaginable.I am still mad at you. But, on the other hand, I thank you for doing that, because now I know who would stand up for me and who wouldn't. You also extended the line of friendships for me. And with that I thank you."
That's it. I hope you found answers to your questions."

Now at 3 A.M.
Though nothing is ever enough, I think that it will suffice.

Up until now she hasn't moved on.
She still thinks of you.
She still talks about you.
She still wants you.

10 long months has passed.
Since you left.
Since she started to hate you.
Since she decided to be bitter.

Every time someone talks about you.
She wants to be included.
She misses you.
She still loves you.

Though she convinced herself
that she's better off without you.
She can't help but check on you.
Not just you but the people around you too.

She wants you to see her worth.
She wants you to come running back to her.
She wants you be out from her fantasy.
She wants you to make her dreams real.

You broke my heart.
Maybe it's just the way it is.
But people need to be hurt in order to grow.
But why?
Is it the way it should really be?
Does it really need to happen now?

This is a real case of bad timing.
It's a major distraction.
When its supposed to only be an attraction.
Who's there to catch you?
Who's there to rebuild the puzzle?

I miss our time together.
I miss the things we have shared.
I miss your sweetness.
I miss everything about us.
I miss everything about you.

For the past couple of weeks,
I can't help but feel sorry for us.
Feel sorry for you
cause you gave up.
Gave up before there was an us.
Gave up on the person who would've fought for us.

Now the worst part is,
I have to move on.
I have to force myself to forget.
Force myself to fill in the gaps.
Say I'm okay, though I'm not.

Why do people love to live in the idea of love?
When one day it can just vanish,
and leave them crumbling down.

A caterpillar emerges into the wilderness.
Born innocent to the faces of reality.
Started her life continuously doing what she's expected to do.
Eating fast, growing fast. Problem-free?
Isn't that what a child is supposed to be?

The caterpillar awoke into the reality that she's alone
Depression emerges as she grew stout.
Too focused on the outside that she failed to see the beauty inside.
Obviously intimidated by the other organisms living together with their same kind.
It ignited a great inferno in her chest.
She convinced herself that one day, she would want to be something else.

The fat caterpillar grew tired to all of life's disappointments.
What she only wanted was for her life to be better than expected.
Slowly she was loosing all the confidence she had left.
She fell fast asleep.

Caterpillar slept too long she forgot that she was a total disaster.
In the middle she woke, thought that it was just a dream.
The inferno slowly died. There came peace.
She knew that something is different.

Caterpillar emerged from her cocoon.
Thought that she waited long enough.
Figured out that it was finally time to move out.
She's now ready to face all odds.

As a butterfly.
She's ready to face life's challenges.
Soon will go flying all around.

Many have asked the same questions
Many have deduced;
They were so ready to conclude
But they keep rejecting everything
They said that it was nothing
That they are just being two normal very very close friends
That none was true
But how can you think otherwise
If what you see and feel seems right
It's love, I guess.
Hidden beyond that friendship
Low but afire from each other's heart
Each very careful to keep their guard
That's just sweet and cute
Because the truest feelings for someone
Are the ones concealed
And the ones denied

Just stopped doing anything.
Dropped everything at hand.
Sat back and closed my eyes.
I feel tired. That's all.
From life and all aspects of it.
Trying to divert my attention
I remembered a song
It made me realize
Feelings(tiredness) are temporary
Because being alive is temporary
Therefore this feeling is just temporary

My mind
Full of thoughts
Of the times
Now erased and part of the past
Painfully enforced to be left behind

First to blame is reality
That because of its brutality
With destruction as its ability
Woke me into the truth of the society
That toughness and confidence
Should be at the top of one's personality

I didn't know what it was like to grow up
Like you have to make big decisions at times
And be responsible for everything you do.

I thought life would do it as it is destined to
But like every thought, it vanishes
Changing courses faster than lightning
Hard to cope 'cause we settle slower than when we're precipitating.

I didn't know what it was like to grow up
Like you'd have to think more mature now
And understand better than before

I thought life isn't as cruel as it seems
I managed to keep that in mind for the longest time
But it seems that I'm changing my mind
Cause the less I'd like to adjust the more I'll be left behind

I didn't know what it as like to grow up
Like you need to be open-minded now
And justify that sometimes you just have to forget about stuff

I thought life would be easy if you just go with the current
For I knew that there would be lesser drama, lesser stress
But it was just to see who stand their ground and who doesn't
Who would stay and who wouldn't
Standing against the current isn't as easy as you see
But it's fulfilling when it's done finally

I didn't know what it was like to grow up
Like you have to stand your ground and speak up
Cause it will be for the best, I guess
Sometimes, circumstances just forces you up

I thought life isn't as crazy as it seems
That everything about it was just to fulfill what you need
But I guess there's always a flaw in the system
Cause it's not always what you needed.
Something that is too much is not nice
But that's what you always get, I bet

I didn't know what it was like to grow up
Until now that I summed it all up
I think I'm drunk while writing this down
Drunk on thoughts ready to be spoken out

This isn't poetry, I believe
But I guess that's just the way life can be

Like a flickering light,
I see the motive in those eyes.
You may reject all the facts,
But remember that not everyone will loose track.

When others see, even the tiniest hint of affection;
Between two cautious individuals.
There you'll see.
The feeling that both has kept
But is not for everyone to see.

Love is a mixture of colors that do not complement
A healthy combination of things that can possibly be
A fusion of attitudes that differ
A beautiful blend of features
That longs to be alive again

It is an artwork made up of broken pieces brought together to recreate
That feeling that was kept and frequently rejected.
Blended well enough to make it feel more alive than it ever was
Carefully. Gradually. Passionately.

It is a stated fact that when these individual attitudes and emotions are well blended, it'll yearn ends
Therefore you savor every moment while taking the roads with harmonious feelings
Trying to travel the path taken by many and hoping that you'll be out with the outmost success
So you walk with burning passion until the end

Yet like the others who've taken the path, you end up with the same plot twist
Someone faded so quick
Faster than the bolt of lightning
Leaving you in the middle of everything.
Leaving the other bright as before
Leaving the other to finish the road they started together
To finish that something harder than building that road's reputation

Why let colors once so bright fade
And leave the other to continue in such a dismay
And expect that you could be okay?

And the pen was kept
And the bells rang
And the time was up
And the smiles were more visible now
Students screaming to the top of their lungs
The semester is officially done!

It's hard to mask the bad side completely because it will eventually bleed out.
You can never keep it from anybody. Sometimes you just have to let it out.
It is harder than it seems. But you have to think that it is very necessary.
Because to experience this, is part of your story.

What happens if someone had have enough?
It has always been hard to live life tired from all the sadness and fuss.
When stress is eating you all up, who reaches out to pull you out?

Disappointing as it may seem, it is reality.
The people who you expect to go down and save you won't even bother to dive down in order to be with you.

It's okay to be sad
But right now it's more than that
It's what's actually damaging me further
The feeling that's addicting and nostalgic.

Pagod na ako sa mga gawain na paulit-ulit lamang
Pagod na ako sa mga bagay na kailangan intindihin at tanggapin ko lang
Pagod na ako sa paggawa ng mga bagay na wala namang saysay
Pagod na ako sa araw-araw na pag-alalang kakayanin ko ang lahat ng bagay

Kaya ko... Kaya ko...
Kaya ko pang gawan ng paraan
Kaya ko pang remedyohan
Kaya ko pang isalba ang lahat

Hindi na dapat ako nag-papakulong sa gantong emosyon
Hindi na dapat ako nag-iilusyon
Hindi na dapat ako nagkakaganito
Hindi na dapat ako nagiisip ng ganito

Sa layo na ng narating ko dapat kaya ko na ito
Sa dami na ng pinagdaanan ko dapat sisiw nalang sakin ito
Sa dami ng hirap na naranasan ko sanay na dapat ako sa mga ganito
Ngunit higit sa lahat, sa dami na ng naipundar kong oras at pagod, alam ko sa sarili kong kayang-kaya ko 'to

Closed minded people everywhere
When this world needs people always ready for change
Who can accept the flaws and errors in the system
This world needs the gift of open mindedness more than ever
Maybe in that way this world would be less ****** up

Love unites two persons that used to be miles apart
Based upon friendship that should be firm as a rock
It is something you give to someone out of reason and heart
And should never destroyed just by jealousy and betrayal

Love isn't something you do for fun
It sometimes bear the biggest factor for some
Love should never be constrained
And never ever should it be disclaimed

This poem is of sadness
Of all of life's disappointments
Much like water continuously poured
Until you can no longer breathe.  
Until you would want to break free.
Until you want to give up and break down
Until you reach a point where you just want to end it all
How cruel should life be?
When you did not do anything to deserve this.

This poem is of sadness
Of the lack of happy endings
Life only have happy endings for the fortunate ones
So little that many go out disappointed
So much more wanting it to happen

This poem is of sadness
It is of all those things kept and almost forgotten.
****** and broken but is not to be put away.
Always kept away but is still dreaded
For seeing those broken pieces that once was whole and functional hurts.  
In every level.  
In every aspect it has.  
But it is kept to keep you company in those drunken nights.  
When you can't feel the pain  
If a cut reaps your flesh.  

This poem is of sadness
Of that sadness kept in for the longest time.
Of that sadness who never saw the right
The key to light it all up.  
To keep it all away and erase it from the mind.  
To replace it with that much wanted happiness.  
To live a life better than what is right now.  
But think it over, see my dear, isn't too late to actually wish for it to happen right now
When life already took its toll  

This poem is of sadness
Of relationships broken and wounds that take too long to heal
Surely no one is to blame
But the self, the mind, and the heart
Three which is in constant battle
With nothing ever settled
The mind thinks; but doesn't see
The heart dictates; but dosen't feel
The self doesn't follow; but will give in too soon

This poem is of sadness
To the person  
Who has been looking for answers  
Constantly
In every place the feet drags  
Looking for peace
But everywhere
Was too hostile to stay

This poem is of sadness
To the two who hasn't been honest
Been there forever to conceal
Everything that needs to be revealed
An explanation isn't too hard to give
To at least relieve what has been breached

This poem is of sadness
To the support group of madness
Not knowing which ones to see
Didn't know what else to believe
Too torn of what's happening
Human caught in the middle
Silently apologizing for the damage that's too big

This poem is of sadness
Of forgiveness hard to let go
'Cause once you've been told
Not everything you see is so
Now tell me which is right and which is wrong
So at least, even in the deepest of thought,
There it is seen
The peace that took too long to see

And It happened.
One shot and everything fell apart.
Confusion turned into numbness
That would soon sum up
To sadness.