Falling for someone?
How embarrassing
What a stupid person
What an overactive imagination

I reach into myself
Find the tiny strong voice
Who knows who I am

Present in the moment
Assured in all my actions
Aware of all my value

An un-earthed superpower
I'll grow to become her
The strong woman inside me

Have the energy go through me,
Absorb me and I absorb it

Bang my head
Stay stock sill and stare

I sing along
Listen to sounds I've never made

Make me an artist
Make me human

My toes are curling
I'm touching my neck
Grabbing my hair
Just like he did

Waiting
Waiting
Impatient
To scream

My worldview changed 2 months ago
I realized I couldn't afford grad school

Since then my brain has been aflame
Looking for jobs, scholarships,
ANYTHING

I should have a real job
But that actually doesn't pay?!?

I can get a scholarship
Yeah, and compete with thousands

I could be a sugar baby
You couldn't deal with the shame

And now
Do I even want to go anymore?

It's all futile nonsense
The nurtured dreams of changing the world?

There's no money to train for that
And you'll make no money in doing that

You work, you get kids, you move to the suburbs, you read them cute books and encourage them to have a career just like you but BETTER.

Until they look back after thousands in tuition and realize that
The degree they got in how to save the world?
Hardly pays more than McDonalds

Maybe I don't want to save this world
Maybe it doesn't want to be saved

Thank you for being forthcoming
Let's go!
Just got out of the ocean dripping in water and sweat
Tell me more how you miss me

He stopped me on the sidewalk
And I almost walked away

My politeness stopped me
Perhaps he's lost?

But then, he was very cute
Charismatic, bright-eyed, skilled

Show a girl a picture of his sourdough
Yeah, he wins her heart

Later, I confess my unacceptability
He thanks me, and still asks me out

Now he breaks the touch barrier
Now we're holding hands
Now we're walking home
Now we're in his bed

Over the intellectual conversation
The latter part of the night is what stays seared.

I feel like I am watching myself apart
An anthropologist, an endocrinologist

The hypothesis is: I've warily fallen
Romance is truly odd