What is true happiness?
I think I have found it.

Is it that feeling that you get
When you cannot wait to face another day,
Or when you cannot wipe your smile away?

Is it when you know
You have found people
That understand you
And actually listen to what you have to say?

Is it when you know your passion,
And when you can finally reach out and grab it
Out of the air?

Is it when you have hardships,
But though you know your life is tough
You don't even care?

It's when you feel as though you are finally big enough for the world
And that you can stand on your own two feet,
That a weight has been lifted
Off of your shoulders,
And then thrown in your problem's face.

I cannot wait to see you,
You are what keeps me going.

We are the exact opposites,
But yet we always find something to talk about.

You are smarter than me,
I am faster than you.
But we both laugh at the same jokes.

I can tell what you are thinking,
And you always know when I am sad,
Or scared,
Or downright depressed.

I love you in a way that only people with a true best friend understand.

And nothing can stop me from being there for you.

I shouldn't be scared,
Or should I?
I have been through this a hundred times.

But each time
Your words cut deep
And before the wound can heal
You cut some more.

But it's not just the words.
I know I have caused you to become someone you would rather not be.
But I cannot help it
And the guilt kills me more than you can imagine.

But I am not finished
And never will

Because every time we hurt together,
We get stronger.
Together.

This is our storybook.
Longer than any dictionary
Or encyclopedia
You can imagine.

It is the story of our love.

I have seen your smile hundreds of times,
Somehow I always know how to make you laugh.
You have seen my smile also,
But have you seen the real me?

The one whose eyes are sunken in her head
her brain is foggy,
and her skin is old and brittle.

The one that is in a hole that she has climbed many times,
Only to slip back in again.

You think you know her,
but you don't.
And you probably never will.

But if you do get to know her,
be gentle.
her heart is fragile,
and she cannot think straight.

If you get to know her,
Hold on tight,
So you she doesn't slip away.

My very first memory
Is of you throwing me in the air,
And catching me as I squealed in delight.
We used to play this game all the time.
Throw.
Catch.
Throw.
Catch.

But time sped by
And soon I was too old
And too heavy for you to throw me.
But you still always manage to catch me.

Remember that time I fell off my bike?
Remember when I was scared
To ski the double black diamond?
I cried, but you picked me up.
Time and time again you pick me up as I am falling
Into a pit of my own fear.

You may say it's like that game
we used to play
when I was younger.
But it's not.
For I know that you will always be there to catch me,
To heal my wounds before I let them blister.

Everytime I see you,
A spark flies.
And as much as I try to dampen my emotions,
They always get out of hand.

I know how this works.
Who hasn't been through it?

I know that you will hurt me,
without even knowing it,
and that I will shatter under the truth.

I know that I will have bruises over my heart,
and desire in my veins.

But soon I will realize that there is someone better,
And I will soar,
Only to get shot down again.

When you yell
It hurts me.
When you cry
It kills me.

Because I know
Your words are true
and your tears are real.

I am writing this
Because all the times I hurt you
Or screamed at you
I felt pain too.

I'm sorry.
But you have no reason to forgive me.
I shattered my own heart,
By breaking yours.

Everytime,
I am happy
you turn it into something bad.
As if I am the reason,
for the crimes you have caused.

Have you ever thought
that you could actually trust me to do the right thing?

Well, you should try it sometime.
Maybe I’m not as bad
As I seem.

I have given up on trying
To make myself perfect.
To make myself someone I'm not.
It takes too much strength,
And I am so weak.

Do you remember the days
When no one cared?
We were so young then.
So innocent.

We believed that we could have anything.
What I would give to feel free again.

But now we have sins drawn on our backs,
And words of failure written on our scarred hands,
And our memories tattooed in our souls,
Reminding us of our limits.

I need your help more than ever, God.
I'm drowning.
I am not myself anymore.

I look as though I am fine.
People probably think I am the happiest person they know.

But not you, God.
You can see through me, and see all of my scars.

"Battle wounds" my outside self says,
But they are really just broken parts of me
That can't be fixed.

I am counting on you, God.
I know you cannot fix everything.

But please, just grant me that one thing,
To keep me holding on.

Is it the enemy,
or our ally?

It gives us so much,
but then takes it all away at the end.

Often people compare life to a roller coaster,
It will have ups and downs, but it will always end in a good place.

I compare life to a drawing.
You can make it as colorful,
And intriguing,
As you want.

But at the end,
You may not be satisfied,
Because you didn't have time
To add a little detail.
Or you didn't remember
To erase the pencil lines.

And when it's done,
And you look it over,
You will cry.

Because there is so much more that you could have done,
But didn't.

With every word I sing,
I think of you.
Do you know what you mean to me?

All the things I would do for you,
You wouldn't believe it,
And maybe I would do too much.

I haven't known you for long.
But I know that there is something about you
That understands me,
and you may not realize how rare that is.

Just don't go away.
Please,
I need you here.
With me.