Home Body,
Rolling on the bed while rapping in the bedsheet,
I want to dress,
But inner storms' Floating me far,
Where I find too hard to feel again in a home,
At home, where I can dance naked,
And embrace me utterly,
My body is my home,
I feel the real me behind its wall,
All storms are mine,
I want to nourish this home again,
And bud the Rose's in a **** soil,
And I have to close all the windows'
In the gray clouds!

- Nida Mahmoed

It’s annoying.
It’s hard.
Takes your pride away.
But if you wanna be happy.
You have to do it.
Forgive.
Because when you look back in your life at the end.
That fight will probably be trivial.
And you will feel stupid and full of regret.
Forgive.
Because in the end all that matters is knowing you did things for love, not out of hatred and bitterness.
So forgive.

I struggle with a lot of things,
But nothing ever seems to be as bad as change.
I like what I like, or at least I like what I had.
Ever since I’ve grown up, life just seems to make me mad.
I miss my home, I miss my friends.
I miss my parents, and I miss my bed.
Everyone always wants to grow up so fast,
But looking back, I wish I could have made it last.
As my anxiety starts creeping in,
I exclaim Dear Lord let me be a kid again.
I know going home will only help temporarily,
The quickest way to fix this feeling inside of me, is facing it head on with the little light left inside of me, will someone please find the key?
Look, you gotta understand that life can’t always be easy,
It has to kick you around every once in a while to show you the meaning.
But keep your feet on the ground, your head on the clouds, and give a piece of your heart to the loved ones that will protect it.
It’s going to be alright darling.
You are going to be okay.
Life works itself out, but you gotta stick around long enough to find out.

Pick me up. Read me.
Fan my pages. Break my spine.
Make notes. Place bookmarks.
Try to learn and understand what may not make sense to you.
Skip ahead and then go back.
Re-read.
Interpret.
Take me in.
Dog-ear the important pages.
Feel the weight of the whole volume.
Do you have questions?
What are your favorite parts?
What do you wish to rewrite?
Or do you only wish to add?
Pick me up. Read me.

Inconsistency and ambivalence.
Constant push and pull.
You're here. Now you're not.
"I love you". We haven't spoken in months.
Indifference and apathy.
Mixed messages.
I'm who you want when you don't want to be alone.
Company. Just company.

Interest. Disappearance. Repeat.