Maybe on the night of New Year's Eve I will go to my roof and all of this will disappear, maybe I can start all over and become a whole new better person because I'm not the person I want to be, and I know it's cliché to write about a new year but God do I need this year to be good to me. I always thought I knew myself and what I stood for but why am I rushing to be somebody? It shouldn't matter if I know what I want or who I am. I know this is the prime time of self discovery but I'm terrified. What if I figure out soon who I am and I don't even recognize her? Thinking about my future and whether or not any of this will matter is my biggest fear because the people and things I care about so deeply now could mean nothing to me in a matter of months. What does that mean for me? Spending a countless number of nights wondering about things and how I can make things right will be for nothing but will I feel resolved?

and like wind you were noticed but forgotten, so far yet so close, so reachable yet so unobtainable. Like the stars twinkle you were so alluring and so self-assured but so humble. I don't know exactly how I feel about you and your beauty but what I know is that I find peace in knowing you once felt so infatuated by me. Knowing you once felt so comfortable speaking to me about the little things in your life was something I held close because what we had was something that didn't happen often for me, I felt deep serenity with you. I can't help but wonder what it is you think of me- that is if you think of me at all- I can't help but wonder if I'll ever have that feeling again. That feeling of knowing you have a beautiful human being loving everything about you, the feeling of true friendship and acceptance.

I think your smile is so perfect,
I love the way it makes me feel like I can fly.

I can't tell you how happy it made me when you layed on my shoulder.
Or how happy it made me when you let me lay on your lap.

Please don't break my heart again.
I love you too much to bear by myself.
I need to feel your touch when I don't want anyone else's.

The truth is, I look into your eyes like I see the stars in them.
The truth is, the twinkles I see make me feel alive, and I can't let that go.
My eyes don't really deserve to look into yours.

When you move around I always have to look at you to make sure you're okay.
I don't want to think you're uncomfortable.
I want my shoulder to feel like pillows of the finest feathers.

When you would wrap your arm around mine,
and you'd snuggle up next to me,
I couldn't remember all the bad things our history holds.

I need you more than you think I do.
You're not my only happiness, but please stay.
When I first met you, I never would've thought this is where we'd be.
But I'm so totally okay with what has become of us.

I'm going to protect you always.
I'm not going to let someone wake you up or bother you while you rest.
We had such a long day and I should be sleeping rather than typing this sappy poem,
But I'd rather keep watch over my treasure.
The truth is, I love you.

you are a beautiful someone,
never mind the things you may think about yourself.
you are worth so much more!
please do not belittle yourself because you must see just how intriguing you really are
you aren't like everyone else, i beg you please do not try to become something you are not.
your mind works differently.
be yourself because that's when you shine the brightest.
and also know that someone in this world will love you for your diversity and simplicity

Sometimes I wonder how I feel about you,
Scared of these feelings because it's still new
I catch myself thinking of the best way to share,
Hoping you'll return my confession showing you care
And then I catch myself again... and drag my thoughts back to reality
I am back at square one, does this just happen to me?

Poems are so stupid I swear I would never do this
But this is YOU, and you aren't like anyone I have met
How much longer do I have to write, can I tell you yet?
When I come back from my thoughts I feel more secure
But then I sleep... and the dreams of you occur

The dreams I have of you are so vivid and clear
I feel TRUE happiness inside and that there is nothing to fear
People say dreams have underlying meanings and not to ignore them
I say we both know what they mean and now I want you to hear
Hear what I am about to say to you, feel it with my body, see it in my face
Hear it in my words and tone when we converse

I love you! I love you more than I ever thought I could
Be with me always and be loved like you should

I've learned that happiness doesn't have to be a dependency on others
& I want to apologize for depending on you for happiness when you were struggling with it as well.
I have learned to be happy on my own.
I hope you are happy too

When the sudden realization that things are never going to be the same finally hits you, you're crushed because you didn't think this would ever happen to you.