I met a person I could never live without exactly one year ago. I met him and now I can never forget him.
I met this boy and fell absolutely in love with the idea of me knowing him and him knowing me. Knowing each other's faults, knowing each other's weaknesses, knowing that I could find a quiet place in him and him knowing he could find that in me.
I met this total aloof and complex guy and he's the only one I can truly talk to, the only one who I can just be completely silent with. I remember when our feelings for each other had blossomed into a rather obvious thing, we would get away from our group of friends and walk over to the playground. Somedays we would talk and talk and talk, about everything ( we always filled the other in about our lives because we didn't see each other often) other days we would sit beside each other in silence. I felt his stare as I looked at down at my feet, when I looked up he looked away quickly. He looked so fragile yet so strong, his complexity was so intriguing. In those days we were aware of all the things that would go wrong, we aware of all the terribly wonderful events that would occur between us and we still decided to become entwined in each other's lives
It's gonna be a year since we met soon,
I can't image my life without you even if it's not where I pictured we would be a year. I'm so grateful to have met a person has brilliant has you, but you don't see what I see
I was almost a little madly in love with you
You with your brilliant thoughts
Me with my insecurities
I've been rushing through the motions, but you seemed to like me too.
If I went away I promise, that it's okay.
I was so much a little madly in love with you.
Inspired by a song I've had on repeat for hours
And all I wanted was for you to stay
And try harder.
I guess that proves how much I meant to you, you meant a great deal to me and of course I still care about you but I just can't be so close to you. I can't pour my heart out to you again.
I miss him
It's the new school year, it all reminds me of him.
How we used to stay up all night depriving each other of sleep because we didn't want the conversation to end, how we planned the next year to go, how we said we could work as long as we had confirmation class.
How he said I was all he needed, how he said he could see us with the same ring on our finger, as we ate cereal and had a child or two running around.
It's silly to think of it all now because we were so young and our love was naïve and how he now says our relationship was a sham
But sometimes I think about all we said to each other
And I miss him
You can love again despite the things you said about caring too much for a person you thought was the most important part of your life, but that's what you get for opening a closed door in hopes they'll find love on the inside.
I'm a house with no windows, you're the flowers on the front porch, and I can't stop.
Sometimes it scares me how much I think about going for a walk and never coming home, and how willing I am to leave everything I have and everyone I know.
And you said "I think your eyes could use some sleep."
And I said " but I don't want this to end."
But how do you love someone else when you don't love yourself, because to love yourself is to know yourself and you don't know who you are, but how are you supposed to know yourself? How do you truly know who you are?