i crave for the days where I saw you in a different light,
these stained glass moments,
creating delicate pillars in my life  
i miss you is an understatement,
but I love you is too strong
this grey zone which i have always avoided,
because of my fear of the unknown
is now the only place I can call home

It was easy for you to say I love you
Almost as easy as it was for you to leave
Maybe I should of tried harder
Or maybe played hard to get
I always played sad music just to cry a little
When the words you said hurt
Because you had numbed me to the point where pain somehow felt good
It’s always been easy for them to leave me
Walking away like they never needed me
I thought you understood
Maybe I’m the toxic one,
Or just the one that got away
All I know is maybe I need to be the one to leave
Instead of wishing they had stayed

I remembered how to handle your moods
When you didn’t remember my middle name

it doesn’t hurt that you left,
It hurts that you did it in the name of love

I’ve scuffled with wanting greatness,
A grip that’s held onto me tight
Squeezing the life out til I’m just tired
Weak and stressed
Wanting everything to be just alright

a lesson you will learn,
before your life comes to an end
is that the grave is dug the deepest,
For the ones putting you in

The future is haunted,  
By what it can’t remember-
For the past is its only contender