I'm empty
But feeling
Laughing
But crying
This is my normal
How I am when by myself
In this home all the time
This is it
It doesn't make sense
I am lonely
But not alone
I am here
But absent
This is it
Who I am now
How I feel
Even if it doesn't make sense

Someday this will be behind us
Long gone from this place
We may finally be free
Not put down for our differences
From these people we label family
These people in this small town
Someday
It will be us
Not looking over ourselves
Worried while following their strict expectations
Imprisoned in this house
With our family
In this town
Someday
But for now
We must comply
Following every rule to the T
No matter the harshness
For now we must
Smile, listen and take it
Their closed minds
Their closed thoughts
We must fit in
With this family and town
Waiting for that someday
The someday we will be away from here

Her long fingers and black dress
Her breath that goes in not out
Don't kiss her or let her touch you
Or you shall be buried under the ground
She takes your life
Without a warning
She visits everyone just a matter of time
The woman in black
Doing the bidding
You will meet her in time

Your beautiful smile
So cute and seemingly innocent
Makes me melt inside
Your kind words
So true and loving
Makes me forget my sadness and everything wrong with my life
I didn't think I could feel this way again
Not after being treated as I was
But you make me feel so safe
I can't get my mind off of you
I want to hold you and never let go
I want to keep you safe
Listen to your problems and your worries
And take them all away
My happiness lies in you
I trust, love and cherish you
As I hope you trust, love and cherish me

I'm not depressed
I just have this constant overriding feeling that I don't want to be alive
But that's not depression
I just think other people's lives would be a lot better if I was never in them
But that's not depression
Just a wish for me to go away
Never been born
Never existed
But if you asked if I'm depressed?
I'll say no
I'm not
I just don't find happiness in the life I am living
That's not depression
I'm just missing my drive
My will
To live
But if I were to talk to someone
Like a professional
They would call it depression
Probably send me to an institution
But I'm not depressed
Maybe I just don't want to realize
There is something wrong with me
So, I'm not depressed
I just wallow in self-hatred
Not seeing a reason for my existence
It's not depression
It's just--
It's not

My life isn't all that bad
I have everything I need
Loving mother and father
And loving siblings
I always went to good schools
Learn about the Lord above on Sundays
My life isn't all that bad
So somebody please explain
Explain why I have this feeling
Like I'm not good enough
Even through everything I done
It was never good
Somebody please tell me
Why I never listen
My life isn't all that bad
So why has this happened
I can't seem to focus
My life would be better off
Without one component
Me, I should never have been born
Cause even though my life isn't all that bad
People who have met me
Would thing it's the worst
There has to be a reason
But
My life isn't all that bad
There is no reason for me to act out
I simply need to listen
But why is that so hard
Though I'm about the worst person
It doesn't make sense
I have nothing to blame it on
My life isn't all that bad

I live to breathe
Nothing else
It may seem so simple
As if there is more but there is not
I don't enjoy holidays
I'm not quite sure why
Every time I think of Christmas time
I want to cry
I usually enjoy sleep
The nights would be my favorite
But my mind has recently
Scared me out of that
So I live to breathe
I live for my chest to expand and empty
The rhythmic working
Of my heart
Circulation of my blood
From my head to my feet
I simply live to breathe