It’s not just the conversation I miss, for me there’s something deeper that, I can’t explain. It’s just rattling around in my brain. Used to drive me insane and played with my brain. There was just something about seeing your name, even when we were causing each other pain. Nobody was to blame I guess that’s why it’s a shame. I always wonder if we started again would things just turn out the same. Or would be what it felt like it was supposed to be.
Seeing the man that was holding my hand when I was young and helpless. With the blank face. an expression that I can see from miles away. Unable to speak and weak. I have to watch you go alone. Be strong.
When I was young my mam had a stroke and it was my grandad that was holding my hand as I watched her get taken away. Today I woke up watching him getting taken away for the same reason. The expression that comes on a person face when they have a stroke haunts me and I noticed it before anyone even told me what was going on
My family going crazy my head squeezing so so tight, wanting to blow my brains out. I want to end it, tonight. Sick of the world and sick of all it’s *****. Then a glisten in the seat. Your paintbrush watching me. Did you plant it there or was it a mistake. Made me break to pieces seeing it shine in the light. If only you could see how bad life is beating me.
Did you leave your things in my car on purpose?
I don’t get that urge to pick up my phone when I hear it buzz, I don’t get that smile on my face when I see a name. mostly it’s just something stupid or lame. I don’t believe that I’ll ever see your name again, it doesn’t cause pain, only shame. because I made deal with my leaky brain. There’s only that part of me to blame. It’s is a shame but who knows maybe you’ll message again.
Better be smiling :)
A promise to stay safe a promise to stay sane, but in reality I could easily blow it all away and make my day. Why did I wait for you turn and wave it drives me insane, the walls in my room stained with the memory of you. It causes so much pain. I feel it night and day. I hate it because you have gone away. I’m just waiting for the day. were you talk to me again.
If you read this I will get you flowers to say thanks, I hope you are doing okay
I love her but I don’t know if she loves me, my heads in the clouds and things aren’t clear to see. I miss her smile and her laugh, it’s the smallest things that meant the most to me. She’s a special girl and that’s the only thing clear to see. But what about me ?
Life’s a strange thing
I will wait for you in the storm and rain, I will wait for you through all of the pain. I will wait for you till you have your brighter days.