tired,
traffic;
dark circles under eyes
i ingest caffeine
and far too little sleep,
yet you still visit me
in my dreams.

and when you look into his eyes,
does it finally click?
that he lives life for the first time too,
we're all under the same moon.
each perspective twists and burns;
but you are not earmarked
and they're not scars of
your own making

but you choose how to carry them,
and now there's radio silence
an echo of a sigh

and one day,
this sigh will echo back
we've come a full circle
and it has a different meaning

because you saw her broken back
and heard their side of the story
you saw his mother's grave
or where it'd be if she had one
and you finally got right
that one young man's favourite song
you watched him dance, alone
with shimmering lights, and
an air full of smoke
while his friends didn't know
the song that played in his heart

and finally,
you understand
because one day,
someone genuinely heard you
and borrowed your eyes for a while
and he'll give them back
but a piece of them stays
a quiet red string,
that whispers your name

and from now on
in the thread of life,
you'll be intertwined
you could have changed
each other's life
and never know of it
or ever talk again

just because someone listened
and saw you for who you are
just because someone listened
and stayed by your side

and in that moment,
i am 17 again
swallowing liquid flames
just a little girl
getting all the blame

in that moment,
i am re-reading the messages
running my fingers over
their icy, stone tower,
searching for a crack
in which i could drown in guilt,
which would bewray me as a liar
and a stake to be burned.

but,
my fort stands still,
for it is built on the truth
which does not yield
nor does it easily shatter.

it is wonky, it is ugly,
but the truth has never been pretty.
i break my nails on the strong wall,
cursing my own only merit.

for i am just a little girl,
perhaps,
about to be alone again.

I just needed someone to stay.