he doesn't love me
it's another crooked story,
another time my heart got chewed out
and spit out

he doesn't love me,
this tale feels as old as time
and i already know the way it ends
but i never learn

he doesn't love me,
all those words meant nothing
when they get trampled over harshly
no looking back
the dust never settles,
the stampedo always persists

he doesn't even need me,
was lust always stronger than love?
do you not feel lonely,
ripping hearts out?
was mine not worth even
a proper peek?

he doesn't want me
he prefers aged wine
yet wishes to drink from two glasses
i am not wine;
i was made to burn,
never go down the throat easily,
to scratch and make you puke,
never anyone's favourite drink
i was made to burn
and oh,
how i burn
i burn out,
i am set ablaze
a dancing dragon
on top of a grave
of my old self
burn
burn
burn,
leave no traces
of the past that once was
burn,
burn;
torch the emotions
set the insecurities aside
bury the love,
it was not meant for me
it was never for me

he doesn't even love me,
because romantic love
is just not something for me
in this lifetime;

but i keep trying,
old dog breaking itself
desperate to learn new tricks
and get a crumble of love
old dog,
they will not touch you
as to not get sick

old dogs never get enough love.

wicked dreams
drenched in sweat
leave a taste
that lingers when i awake

for when i am sleeping
your feelings are true
eight letters, that i chase
a feeling that can't stay

what a twisted dream,
and blurry day
i'm far less lucid than i'd say
through the fog, my arm reaches
for a truth that was never there

this dull knife in my chest
is digging deeper and deeper
the hole that he dug
is getting far more crowded
than my mind

in my restless dreams,
i turn and i turn
i pray to a deity
that would never return
i pray to a deity
and i hope you answer
or at least hear
the words whispered to the moonlight
the feelings i thought
are connected like two cups
and a single red string

what's one more ****** soul
on a pile of lies?
what's one more fake
"i love you",
one more untrue touch?

in my wicked dreams,
i pray and i turn
as the earth spins
as my world burns
as my heart yearns
and never learns

i pray for your soft touch
to convince me you're mine.
.
.
.
don't get on the pile,
you're the one i most desire.
don't be like everyone else,
don't make my head a lost case.

i pray and i pray
and send everyone else away
as long as you're mine,
and as long as i'm yours
we'll be alright
after these long,
sleepless nights

you're a sneaky ghoul
that's eating my heart;
i never noticed
that love doesn't have to be hard

hugging you feels like my favourite song
your scent smells like hope, and
warm mornings, drinking coffee together
giggling, tickling, embracing
soft kisses land on our skin

you are my melody,
the soft glance i dream about
muffled guitar riffs,
the book that comforts me.
the wish you get after
throwing a coin into the fountain
or while gazing at a falling star.

please, don't crash and burn,
you made me believe in love again
don't be a fragment of my future;
never call me a stranger,
understand that how i feel
stretches into eternity.
sleep next to me,
i feel safe touching your skin
is it too early to tell?
i've fallen head over heels.

because when i stand next to you,
it's more than just a kitchen
wherever we may be,
it feels like home,
like i finally belong.
♡