I feel like nothing is real
Like I detached that night
This feels like a dream
Food makes me sick
Sleep doesn’t come
I forget things that happened
Just five minutes ago
So there is no way
No way I’m living in reality
When normal things
Are now a haze
Of smoke and blood and pain

i drain him.
i know it.
and still,
i stay.

i say i’m trying,
but really,
i’m cracking.
i’m drowning
with his lungs
in my chest.

next i’ll bleed
through his arms,
sob
through his eyes,
wreck
what’s left
of his heart.

i was never
meant
to be held.

I'm like a tree in winter,
only, a subtle difference;
they sleep through the cold.

I'm like a tree in winter,
although, all seasons,
make my insides rot.

See, the thing is,
my trunk is freezer burnt,
I've stopped growing,
branches are falling off,

I’m a dying tree

in a forest

blooming with

creativity.

Distraction corrupts you.
As you lack interest.
I am just, noise.
Your ears are cushioned; absorbing a buzz.

Just listen to me, respect me.
Mocking me as I try to be civil.
You belittle me.
And the buzzing stops.

Your head finally turns.
You slapped the fly,
and its juices neatly seat the bench,
and you stare, and you don't care.

I slump, melting.
Clenching my jaw.
You pluck my wings,
and I let you.

My dignity stripped.
Your ego; unrestrained, unrestricted.
I just watch,
as my eyes blurt a river.

Believe it or not -

I gather you do.

I’m fueling, a growing fire

which burns bright
and gold.

Since my shy heart,

loves beauty

for it, is all of you.

A glowing sun,

playful and greedy,

as I.

I miss my mum
She's not dead
She's just holed up in work instead

No complaints
No regrets
But I know she hates this life when she scratches her head

I miss my mum
She's in the next room

Wanting to be free
But she doesn't leave
Because she misses me too

I still love you mom
I miss you right now
But you have to know
I just couldn’t do it anymore
You beat me up, mom
I kept saying “I’m sorry”
But you couldn’t hear me
You hurt me mom
I’m broken now
I still just want a hug from you
But I still flinch away from contact with you
I’m crying mom
I’m sitting in the middle of a road
And all I want is you to hold me
Say it’s okay
I love you
But you can’t
And I can’t let you
You hit me mom
That’s why I walked down the driveway
At midnight
And I kept looking back
Waiting for the light to turn on
For you to run out
Saying wait, stay
I don't know if I would've if you did
I still love you
and I miss you
and I just needed you
to be

Roses are red
And so is my blood
You made cuts romantic
But it’s not called love

this was supposed to make everything better
so why do the tears never stop