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 6h Liana
Nobody
<3
 6h Liana
Nobody
<3
so many words in the english language
but i can't even get close to finding the right ones
to describe how i feel about you
 1d Liana
Lyle
summer rain, warm wet air
puddles on the concrete
music in your head
rainbow over the mountain while the
sun shines through dark clouds
barefoot through the damp green grass
running, spinning, watching the lightning
hair falling in wet strands, framing your face
throwing caution to the wind
to dance in the exquisite summer rain
 1d Liana
Lyle
"Why are you so stressed?"
because I've got an ever-growing list
running through my head
do this, do that, and don't forget you said you'd be here
and there
I'm overstimulated
not enough time to stop and think and rest
just go-go-go-go GO
clean this, cook that, babysit this kid, get that ready
I'M TIRED
 1d Liana
Lyle
I no longer have the name I was given
when I was seven it was changed
"for your safety"
Like my mother would care enough to come find me
the only thing she cared about was her next fix
I didn't get a say in the changing of my birth name
They changed
One
Letter.
One letter later I had a different identity
I hated the name, told my adoptive mother so
every time she called me it I responded with
That's Not My Name.
but here I am, ten years later, responding to a name I hate
It reminds me that they didn't care enough to listen to me
That's Not My Name.
sometimes when strangers ask me for my name I am still tempted
to respond with the name of my past
it is beautiful, it was MY NAME.
All I wanted was to have an opinion, to be heard
To keep my name my name my name MY NAME.
That's not my name
From Hayley to Harley. For years I got teased and called "Harley Davidson" and "Harley Quin". Technically they changed my middle name and last name too, but changing my first name hurt worse since I hated the name SO MUCH.
 1d Liana
Lyle
makeup is an addiction
you get addicted to the way it makes you look
the way it makes you feel
and just like a drug your brain gets used to having it
and whenever it is gone there are whispers
Ugly...ugly...you need me...
until you relent
to the drug that is makeup
 1d Liana
Lyle
dreams
 1d Liana
Lyle
my dreams are often twisted reality
a distorted version of real events
and sometimes predictions of future events
that later give me deja vu
but sometimes they are whispered secrets
of things I didn't know happened, or things
I didn't know I wanted
I never remember them, except in small snatches the morning after
but the nightmares resonate, every second after
and they are always always always my reality
 1d Liana
Lyle
I hate having good days
because it means bad months are sure to follow
 1d Liana
Lyle
why not instead of stacking red
cuts up on your arm and leg
you stack words in bleeding ink
words to live by, to make you think
press the pen tip to your skin
and do not lift up the sharp thing ever again
 1d Liana
Lyle
we sat-
not in silence
but in words
and tears
"I have to leave.
She's making me crazy."

You had better not leave me.












"I won't."
 1d Liana
Lyle
do you ever feel like
your internal clock is ticking
ticking away
like there's so much to do
before a certain age
and if you don't get it done
you're behind?

Now I'm sixteen
going to be 17 in a month
I thought by now
I would have my driver's license
had my first kiss
had even a clue
about what I want to do

but I don't and it makes me feel
so lost
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