Since when has loneliness
been poetry?



Since when
has it not?

One year ago today
you left

I've never been right since.

I'm so sad
and I want you
so bad.

If I cannot find freedom,
I'm going to free myself.

Loving you almost
Loving you has
Loving you...

killed me.

Ask me where
my heart belongs
and I'll say,
"amongst the wreckage"

Hi my name is Ashley,
and I'm addicted
to memories
that don't matter
anymore.

my heart -
it stops.
it starts again,
and again.

it seems
i’m always
starting 
again.

I'm sorry I have turned you
into a drunken fool
that spills his words
more than his wine.

I stared at the poster on the wall
With the speaker to my ear
And one solitary tear running sideways down my cheek
Michael Buble sings of being away
And I don't understand
How it can explain us
When you ran
Away from us
You need time but, I miss you, you know

Let me go home

How can I believe
Lyrics that help relay
Maybe words that you can't say
When *I still feel all alone.

Since I felt this
free.

I guess
you really do
gotta kiss
a lot
of frogs
before you find
your prince

I don't understand at all
My father told me to keep my books on Law so that he can read them
He's not a word smart man but he gives what he can and that's enough for me
Working his hands since fourteen
till arthritis sinks in and the sunken skin between his fingers shows muscles that you never thought were able to see

My cat walks under my feet and I trip on the carpet in front of the sink trying to rinse my hands in the late night glow
Stumbling back in the dark, reaching out for a touch, trying not to fall
But there's no one here to catch me
I don't understand at all

I'm lying in bed and I should be reading but these words wouldn't leave my head no matter how hard I fought
I quit counting the days that you've been gone and I've lost track of the weeks which means by now you've forgotten me because I was the last something, I was the last string that held together anything
I have cavities growing in my teeth from sweet tastes you left inside of me waiting for you to call

you stripped me ******* raw

And I will never
I can never
I will never understand at all

I tugged at my veins
asking questions
with no answers
did I let you do this
or did I do this to myself?
but isn't that the same?
I think I figured it out

My day
will
come.

I'm going to disappear from you
No Facebook or Instagram
It'll be like you never knew

You have stolen
every month I've ever loved
and replaced them with your memory.

Now, I can no longer celebrate
my birth in July
or the freedom of October
without remembering
all the ways
you ruined
me.

By the time I came alive,
the world
was dead.

Stop
making excuses
for men
who don't
respect you

because you don't
respect yourself

Do sick girls get to choose?

Did
we ever
have a choice?

I started throwing things out of my medicine cabinet
then I clenched my fist
and took a swing

at nothing

because that's all I have left of you.

Saint Augustine,
I do not want to read about you
and your Free Choice of Will
Because I do not choose
To think of him inbetween
your words

And I do not choose
To remember him
When my eyes drift between
your lines

'Cause when it came to him
I always had a choice,
Just not the will,
And sometimes still;

I don't know how to choose.

So empty,
that I swear when the wind blows
you can hear the echo
through my hollow bones.

To be alive!
To be alive!
What a glorious thing to be.

Death is sad.
So sad.
Because even though life is temporary,
love is forever.

I paced around the kitchen
Spitting out words
I wanted to write down

These are not it.

I want you to know that I'm not trying to be cold;
I'm trying to be a mystery.
I was not taught how to expose enough of me -
and still keep pieces for myself.
I give it all, I always give it all.
So forgive me
But I'm making sure there's something left
for me to hang on to when you're not around.

Because this time when my insides tick,
I want to hear the sound.

I hope she's
nothing
like me.

The drinks make me numb
So I can't feel
It doesn't matter that time can heal...


I want it now.

I'm so sad.

And there's nothing
poetic about
that.