shes packing her bags
her thoughts and feelings too
shes going away
maybe this will change a thing or two

her hair falls on her face
as she puts clothes in her case
her lovers hover around
they dont seem to get enough of her

the sideway glances
the messages on the phone
shes knows someone out there
feels all alone

i can't bid adieu or say good bye
i just have to hold my breath
till she says hi...

the engine rumbling slow
hum echoing inside
trying to contain
beat of my flesh and hide

the world flowing by
impervious to my cries
for i am so keen to meet
my baby and stop the lies

its probably time
to say good bye
to parts of my past
with an unending sigh

the smog filled breeze
fleeting thoughts of you
head's feeling heavy
the new years here too

the past months weeks
and the recent days
tormented souls
the maddening craze

i had held my breath
now its a good time to exhale
its time to let go
and start a new trail

if we had the ability
to keep a copy
of the people we loved
with us

a version of them
the way we remember
and if we could let go
the parts we could never fix

maybe then, we could breathe
maybe then we could move
past love that probably never was

maybe then we could.
just be.

i see you
opening your eyes
out of your sleep
a familiar touch

there's no trace
of me in your thougts
waking up without me
is this the end?

the warmth in your bed
is of your body alone
no fragrance
of our love

as the morning sun
comes up on you
i m dissapearing as quick
as a ghost

waking up
thinking of you
wondering
how you look in your sleep

maybe you are curled up
in a warm quilt
or in a warm embrace
of my guilt

i can trace the outline
of your lips
your glowing face
and your arched hips

oh how cruel your slumber
how deaf your ears
did you not hear
my loving sweet nothings

i just cant sleep
i cannot breathe
i am awake here on the other side
the dawn incomplete

pain a color of million shades
yes, i have worn a few
some tints darker, some light
some old, some new

i was empty in the beginning
but realised something so true
and as the pictures started forming
life is not all that blue

pick the colors in the pallete
that make a picture so true of you
you have just one canvas
before you bid adieu

she stands across her mirror
puckers her lips, puts the color
looks into her eyes
checks her own demeanour
its almost wry

finally she put to sleep
her demons of past weeks
and the spell
has finally turned weak
its almost dry

another day. another night.
she breathes easy now
another body. another soul.
she smiles to herself
it was all a lie

so he asks the master
why me. why now.
i dont feel like putting up a fight

you throw roses at me
i bleed from the thorns as i pick them
you seem to delight in my plight

who am i said the master
to cause anything
the roses are yours
and the thorns too
from your seeds within

the rose will give you
a glimpse of the divine
the thorn will remind
you to stop saying "it's mine..."

wake up
i told myself
wake up
the day is here

wake up
it may be different
wake up
it may actually be real

rise
it will be worth it
rise
it will be true

rise
it will have a meaning
rise
its all you have to do

sitting alone
in this garden of stone
everything so heavy
almost too much

demons of the past
lurk in the woods behind
the sky a dull grey overcast
guess i m losing my mind

i get up to take a walk
dont know which way to go
and theres no one but me
a chill goes through my spine

its only me. its only me
and now i know i cant get free

being with you.
being myself with you.
being. just being.
i m here.
where i have always wanted to be.

seeing you.
seeing you with my hands in yours.
seeing. just seeing.
i see.
what i always wanted to see.

thinking of you.
thinking of the cross roads
connecting our parallel universes
i cant think anymore.
but i know i found a flicker in your soul.

let go she said
i did not know how
a punishment so severe
to severe the love

was waiting to hear
a gasp or a tear
all i heard
was only fear

is this why
you say bye
is this how
you dont have to cry

just be cold
expect me to know
by just telling me
to let go

take this hand
take it with you
take this soul
take it with you

i am mixed in your colors
i am mixed in your shades
of mixed emotions
running in your head

i can still feel the texture
of your feelings
its ok to breathe baby
its ok to feel alive

i cant say i dont miss you
i can still feel your warmth
cuddling into my arms
And looking up into eternity

did you know
how incredibly difficult
it is to just look at you

did you know
i could not
see much further
than your eyes

did you know
i choke to get words out
out of my parched throat

of course you know now
for i see the smile form on your face
as you read this

Please go in
Please go back

I am so sorry
That i ever wished
Wished something
Wished anything at all

Please go back
Take everything back

Little did i know
That you would
Make it all happen
Yes it did. And more than that

Please go back
And send me back

The first time i felt
This sun lit world
The smell and sound
The tastes and touches

Why do i wait
The rest of my breaths
Waiting to feel it
Once again

Please go back
And take me back with you

pieces thats all thats left of me
i am trying to put myself together
the blood and veins and skin
doesnt work

pieces thats all left of you
i try to put you together
but its not you
its looking like me

maybe i need
to put our pieces together
and see us from above

i think its making sense now
****. this must be love!

Starting again, staring at a blank page
Was this going to be a ramble, about a gamble?
Nah nah… it was just me, trouble
Cmon, start even if it's just a preamble

Words they are just that. Words
Can never capture the real world
Actions and guilt, sorrow and spilt milk
There you go, now you have an ensemble

Its season 3 with a similar plot
The casts different but protagonists not
Promising beginnings and shattered trust
Ah this is familiar, you are back in the temple

When you feel the bed, the sheets
the room silent, cool
you can hear the sound of rustles

Aching for your hands on my back
nails that gently scratch
warm breath on my ear

I wanna stretch you open
and fill you deep
as you turn back to look into my eyes

And bite my finger hard
to stop from screaming out
and let out a shudder

You don't realise yet
that i was just getting started
and the rest of the day
you will be sore and tender

Disappointed i am
for i was dropped
like a potato
not that i was hot

Disappointed i am
for i was given heat
as i had erred
not that i was ****

Disappointed i am
for i lost the man
i used to see in the mirror
not that i can recognise anymore

Disappointed i am
for the time lost
in learning to love
and to have lost it all

Disappointed i am
while the world tries so hard
to put a smile and be grateful
and know its a slow death for us all

yes I know I need some love
but it shows up like sudden rain
and I then wonder if
I  should delight myself in it

all these years gone by
the lies and the pain
then I ponder
if I could love again

the hide and seek
of the clouds and the sun
the warmth and drizzles
change my plans again

the mirror has been spoilt
shows me strangers
in its sight of the demons
i had slain

as I sit on the stairs of my home
in the silence and alone
I think of you
and it makes me smile in vain