You don't know it,
but I owe you my life
When I lost control
and almost plunged in the knife.
My breathing shortened:
in
out
inout
inout
inoutinoutinout
Tingly, stinging
losing feeling,
flashing images
spurting my head.
But I saw your face-
Knew I wasn't dead.
Clenched my fists
and held on!
For you.
You were my reason,
my inspiration,
my motivation
to overcome,
continue on,
get back up,
and fight for my life!
because the pain proves
to be worth it.

I am runningshuffling awaytowards meyou
Underover inout updown
My skin’s creepingcrawling a walkjogruntrot
offon myyour bodybuddy
stuckmoving througharound
my contentupset stageaudience
screamwhispers whyhow iamamnot
happysadgladangrydisgustefplease

I do not not want to not not want whatwhowherewhenwhyhow
Iknowyesnomaybeso can’trepeat canremember
the questionanswer problemsolution
Dramaticpragmatic topsyturvy jaggedcurvy
butteredunbutterflied catapillcocoonsburyresurrect
christanpagan nonnotunsmoking holysacrilege
donundone wonlost underover sunmoonlightdark

Singsungsanging a lullabyanthemrhymenomore
Instagrams socialanticipation partwholly couthun
Kaurrupillaurelsfordrivel I wantneedtogostay
Writeunwrite my thoughtswords publishredact
alovehate wedunwed wonlost wasneverwas
realitydreamsoffairunfairaffairsofheartstreamgulch
He­reliesstandsthere once wasis afairyunjust conprehensivegyst of tallsmall taletelltolduntold

I want to not not want you wantneed youme
to alwaysnever nowthen so I cancouldshouldwill
be presentpassive in athe time of troublesuccess
so wemeyoutheythemus werearewillmightbe
awareunaware silent and listen have the same lettersvowelsconsonantssoundsunsounds
Shakespeare shookshakes spearssparszounds
Inoutupdownleftright lifedeathcradlegrave
~
NM
01/08/20