I still keep your favorite songs on my playlist
Because hearing them is like feeling a cool breeze on a summer day
I close my eyes and for a moment
I’m back in your Benz flying down the interstate
With the sunroof down and my hands up
Barely paying attention to where we’re going
Just looking over at you

And when the song ends the day is still just as hot
But the cool breeze gives me hope
So I’ll keep singing along
With a smile on my face
And an empty shotgun seat by my side

I wonder if you changed your garage code
Not that I’d ever open it again
But I just wonder if it would open for me

I used nicotine patches to stop smoking
Because you hated the way I smelled
So why can’t I buy a patch of you
To ease me off your love

Because when I’m used to walking around
With your scent lingering on my clothes
Because I refused to take off the sweatshirt I wore
As you held me all night long

When I’m used to referring to your arms
As my indestructible fortress of protection
And viewing your lips
As an entrance to heaven that I can't wait to open

How do you expect me to be okay
When I suddenly lose all of that
My reason to get out of bed
The one person who promised to stay

All I know now is that after the pain of quitting you
I can say with confidence in my words
And a cigarette between my lips
"I guarantee you I’m never smoking again"

If space is what you need
I’ll build you a rocketship
Right in my backyard
And we can fly to the moon
And dance under the stars

If time is what you need
I’ll buy you a grandfather clock
Eat meals at the table next to it
And kiss you every time it rings

If distance is what you need
I’ll buy us matching running shoes
And we can run until your heart feels
Like a firework on the Fourth of July
Because my heart always feels that way
When you’re with me

But if you need space from me

If you want less time with me

If you crave distance between us

Then I’ll ride my rocket to the moon
And wait until my grandfather clock
Says you’re ready to be with me
Then I’ll run back to you

Because if people wait a lifetime for heaven
Then I can wait a part of mine for you

Bumping into you
Sounds like the best catastrophe
That could happen to me
So my heart and pace quicken
As I run through the grocery store
Hoping you don’t shop on Sundays

You’re in the operating room
Bleeding out your problems and insecurities
Flatlining with your depression
And I’m waiting right outside
Crying and screaming with frustration
Of just how powerless I am

But I’m not powerless because I’m not a surgeon
I’ve sutured myself up hundreds of times
And even revived myself a few
I’m powerless because you won’t let me in

One deadbolt still standing between us
I drop my medical bag to the floor

It's slowly driving me mad
Listening to the playlists you made
Of other people singing
What you never had the courage to say