I thought
and I think
in waves.
the memories of you nudge my conscience.
I fight the current,
but helplessly
I sail into the past.
I see you in my dreams, often.
is it a guilty conscience or
a suppressed fantasy?
am I more golden or blackened?
noble or damaged?
pure or sinful?
nothing reminds me of you,
I’m not in love.
I have someone else.
but something golden must
hide a blackened core.
you’re the blight of charcoal in
my sunrise heart.
a part of me that might never leave,
no matter how hard I try
to ignore it.
the best I can do is
to ignore you.
that way,
this blight of charcoal won’t consume
me,
setting me alight with the slightest touch.
I don’t want to be set on fire
by
your
lips.
This was written a year ago. This was loosely inspired by the song "tearing me up" by Bob Moses because I had a similar situation to the one described in the song. Also the line "I fight the current,/ but helplessly/ I sail into the past." is inspired/based on a line on the last page of the Great Gatsby (F Scott Fitzgerald).