I sit in the shower, wishing for my brain to work the way it should.
I sit in the shower and let the water beat against my face, hoping that will drown out my thoughts and insecurities.
I sit in the shower and cry because I know no one will hear me.
I sit in the shower and question my importance here.
I sit in the shower and gag myself while I sob quietly.
I sit in the shower and take apart razor blades and let them dance across my wrists so that I will stop numbly staring at the shower wall.
I sit in the shower and wonder, if I should really be here tomorrow.
So, how do I tell my friends I sit in the shower?

I watch the blood flow
But it's not nearly enough
I feel the walls closing in
I need something more
I'm hyperventilating
Gasping for air
If I can just remember to
breathe                                                         ­                     
breathe                          
breathe
Clutching my chest
Heart beats erratic
There has to be something more
More than
Sadness                                    
Pain
Disappointment
The walls are crushing me
And my resolve is crumbling
I don't know how much longer I'll last