it genuinely boggles my mind
when i try to fathom
how it is actually possible
to contain an immense amount
of warmth and love for someone

loving someone
to the extent that it transcends physicality?
to the extent that it encompasses
more than just the body and the soul?

i could go on and on,
ramble endlessly,
and write about how the act of selflessly giving yourself
to another person is seemingly something akin to breathing --
natural, unsought, easy, and innate

but i fear it would still not be able
to fully encapsulate the depth and ferocity
of this closely-knit emotion
that this frail body of mine holds.

(i could certainly try
but it would take a millennium)

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything.
It’s 6:57 in the morning and I’m munching pretzels.
I don’t care about the crumbs in the bed this time.
Normally I would, but this morning I don’t bother.
I think it’s because I know that I’ll clean them out when I wash my sheets next week.

I have to be at work in a few hours.
I moved back to a familiar town because the stress of trying to exist in a new place was too much.
Normally I love a challenge, but I should have listened to my father.
He said “It doesn’t matter what you do, you’re good at whatever you try to be good at.”

And that just about sums up the last 4 years.
Not being good at anything,
Because I don’t want to be good at it.
Finding niche hobbies that capture my imagination for a little smidge of time.
But all the while my patience is gaunt in the cheeks.

So that’s why I don’t mind the crumbs in the sheets.