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Ashwin Kumar Aug 2023
What did I lack, as a friend?
I always helped you
Even when I was busy
I provided you moral support
I stood up for you
When you were made fun of
I took time out for you
As and when I could
I even invited you over to my home
Along with my other friends
And my mother and grandmother took great trouble
To ensure that you all had a delicious lunch
They treated you like a family member
And after college, I continued to keep in touch
As much as I could
Though I made new friends, during my MBA
I never ever forgot you
Also, in case you forgot
It was you
Who wanted to be friends with me in the first place
At a time when I was too shy
To initiate conversations with girls
You broke me out of my shell
So, I thought it was obvious
That you cared for me
How wrong I was
You just saw me as a project
Which eventually got completed
After we left college
I was nothing more to you
Than a tool, to be used and thrown
I was never truly a friend to you
Though you called me your best friend
And that too multiple times
You took offense over a harmless comment
And cut me off from your life
It never occurred to you
That I could be very sensitive
And therefore such an incident could impact me adversely
Including destroying my self-esteem
And creating trust issues
Anyway, you may be flying high at the moment
But keep in mind
That, as the ancient cliche goes
"What goes around comes around"
I have nothing more to say
Except that you can try to be a better human being
And think about other people as well
After all, the world doesn't revolve around you alone
Poem dedicated to one of my former friends from my Engineering College who ghosted me over a comment on one of her Facebook photos.
Ashwin Kumar Dec 2022
I thought you considered me a friend
You were always nice to me
But I am afraid
That I thought wrong
Well, being wrong has become as common
As India failing to win a global cricket tournament
Especially as far as people are concerned
Thanks to my autism
Though I was not aware of it
When I was in college with you all
I was always seen as different
Well, it is true that I am different
But I was never one of you
I was a lone wolf
Left to fend for myself
At the slightest hint of trouble
You never took me seriously
I was always the problem child
Who just needed to "grow up"
And then everything would be taken care of
It also didn't help
That I was a South Indian
Though my Hindi was decent
You always saw me as a "Madrasi"
But I saw you all as human beings
Not fair-skinned North Indians
Anyway, you must understand one thing
Friendship is not a joke
It is a serious relationship
If you can't be friends after college
Then you can never be friends at all
Don't call me a friend
And then take me for granted
Leaving me to drown
In a pool of my deepest insecurities
Which, by the way
Would never have been created in the first place
Had you possessed the guts
To be honest with me
Right from the start
Instead of playing your precious games
Just call me an acquaintance
And be done with it
Full stop
A rant against some of my so-called friends from my Engineering; in their company I usually felt like a third wheel.

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