He acts.
A word,
A look,
A gesture.
And the hurt
He’s feeling
Strikes,
And she,
And I,
Fold,
Tucking in
Around impact
Withdrawing
Small
Around the blow.
From here,
I see
A yearning
There,
In that small space,
In her posture of diminishment,
And the yearning
Points to a need
Barely visible
Between the “no”s
And
(Switching
From memory
To intention)
She breathes
And I breathe
And we connect
In
And to
The strength
We embody
And gather
Our Selves
To join
For
And in
Expansion.

“Would you want to share first?”
They said
And I shared
Without knowing
What I wanted
Or wanted to say.
And I wrapped words
Around steps
So far
On my loud
And wordless
Journey
And they nodded
And listened
All the way to
The unanswered question
Of
One
Small
Act.
“An act to counteract,”
They called it.
Their name was Tabitha.
(I had them repeat it.)
Their name is Tabitha,
And they let me
Hold the question
Without answer
Until the bell.
And let me hug them
After we shared.

Moving
This body
On grass
Between stones
In swirls
Upon swirls
Switching back
And around
Until start
Becomes end.
One step
Then another
Marks the silence
Gathering
Within.

I wonder
Briefly
How I’d
Look
To another
Watching
My spacing
And settling
Flow.
And the waves
Roar
My name
And the winds
Carve
My face
And the sun
Warms
My body
And I
Remember.

Stretching
Into the warm
Soft,
Living
Flesh
Of my body,
And past
Still,
I find myself
Suddenly
Aware
Of the bodies
That hold
The humans
I love,
And I pause
A moment
To stretch
Into that awareness,
Occupying briefly
Shoulders,
And toes,
Mouths
And skin,
That aren’t mine.
And I breathe
To a count
Of four,
And find
My edges
Safely
On my mat.

The words
You wrap
Around
Your hurt
Are heavy,
Offered quickly
And retracted,
Before the hurt
Itself
Emerges.
And I hear
What’s said
And feel
What
Isn’t.
And the walls
Are slow
To yield.

I found
Myself
Today
Between
Have-tos
And whys
In the time
Set aside
For just noticing.

I noticed
Myself
And then
They were not.

I notice,
Between a dance
And a tree,
How much
Of my doing
Is receiving
What is offered.
I see,
Stretching
Now
Beyond
This
And
Find myself
Steady.

I reach out
Gently
With wiggling fingers
And giggling breath
And find
You
Hard
And just
Out of reach.
And I am lost
For a moment
To the iterations
On this moment
That still me
And pull my hands
In close.
And then the
Fabric beneath
My fingertips
Is a son
Becoming man
And I breathe
And love
And slip my hand
Into the rocky palm
Of a mountain
For a walk
With my mother.

I find
My
Self
Settling
Into the place
And time
I call
Here
And
Now,
And let go
Of the job
Of doing
The
Calling,
Just
In Time
To pick it up
Again.

I shift
And lean
And pitch
Ahead to
Balance
These tips
To toes
And breathe,
In flight
For one,
Two,
Three,
Before
Looking
Back
And settling
Spread
From
Behind
To ahead,
Arriving
In all that
Could be.
And I breathe.

I settle,
Bones
To mat,
And draw
Air and pain
From the world
Around me,
In and down,
Then rolling
Gently
Up and out,
Until
This
Small
Thing
Becomes
The only thing,
The every thing,
And I am now.

She peers
At him
Sideways
And wonders
When he
Forgot,
“I am
Beautiful,”
She whispers,
“And yours.”

I push
These swords
From
And through
Tired
Confusion
To clarity,
Before
Binding
Blades
Behind
To lead
With heart.
And,
Open,
We see
Past
What we know,
And bow
To what
We co-create
Hearts
Cracked open,
And sharp edges
Bound.

I reach
And feel
My mind
Reach
For a you
And an us
We used
To be
Or want
To recall
To create
With tiny
Bits of
Being
And big
Bits of
Doing,
And I
Remind
Myself
To listen.

I set
My parts
In rows
To strengthen
And grow
As the parts
I forget
Are mine
Shudder
Around us,
Shaking
Loose
The seams
That holds
It all
Apart.

I lay
At the end,
And as I feel
This body
Still
Her face
Slips in
Before mind,
A smile,
Then a plea,
Then a loss,
Before hers
Becomes his
And his
Becomes theirs,
And I yearn
To join,
To make ours,
But I wait,
As this pain
Deserves a
Witness.

As I leave
My mat
And flesh
Behind,
I recognize
The plain
Made battleground,
The twisted
Bodies,
Faces
Gone slack,
The urge
To gaze,
To curate
Curiosity
For
Each
And every
Fallen,
Around
How
And where
They stood.
I stand
On healthy
Feet,
On solid
Ground,
And hesitate
In the tension
Between
As today
All paths
Seem fraught.

As I breathe,
And push
Heel
Into space
Behind,
The shift
Pops
From hip
To toe
And I grow,
And I note
The joy
Of moving
This body
Freely,
This breath
With ease,
And
I am
Humbled
By the space,
And I hold
Past comfort
And breathe
For those
Who cannot.

I’d set
Them down,
One by one,
Just beyond
My mat,
So I could
Be
Alone
In my skin
And my head.
And when
I was
Enough
To be
And not be,
Alone,
And I drew
Them close,
One by one,
To watch
My eyes
In theirs.

I reach
Hands
Around
And above
This body
Through
Befores
And afters
And thems
And these
Buzzing
In tiny
Separate
Bits,
And breathe,
And feel
Them
Join
And
Seep
Through pores,
Under nails,
Around organs,
And fill
This body
With me
(And we).

I sit
Just so,
Rolling
Breath
Up and down
My spine,
Bottom
Heavy
Between
Wants
And musts
To come.
I sit
And remember -
The line
I’ve chosen
Goes
Forward.

I start
Off flat,
My mind
Flowing,
Bumpy
And quick,
And passing
Me by.
And I watch,
As I rise,
My grip
Close
Around this
Word,
Then
That
Which
Slips between
Feelings,
Sensations,
To push
Me along.
And I
Reach
And I grasp,
And I grip,
And release,
And don’t
Notice
The effort
Until
I let go.

I found
My Self
Racing
Time,
Bridging
Gaps between
Moments
With breaths
Held,
And jobs
Complete,
And I paused,
And I breathed,
And I waited
To be left
Behind,
With my jobs
And my breath,
And Time,
She slowed
With me,
And clasped
My hand
Until I remembered
We were
One.

I laughed
At the end
At how
Serious
It all seemed
And how
Gently
The world
Reminded
Me
Of its scope,
And invited
Me
To let go
Of drawing
Lines
And join.
And the
Laughter
Cleared the way
For tears
I didn’t
Know
I carried,
For the lines
I draw
Are heavy
And distracting.

I sense
Her there,
Shrouded
Dark
On the edges,
As I sit,
Holding
Pain
From past
Heartaches,
And fears
Of those
To come.
And I breathe,
Letting air
Stretch
My edges
Past hers
And welcome
Her
Home.

I hold
Still,
Folded
Halfway
And long
Out from hips,
Arms spread,
Before letting
The Earth
Pull me
To hang
From strong
Base
Over
To heavy head.
And I breathe
Before blooming,
Toes out,
Back straight,
Into goddess.

I rise
With chimes
To array
This bit of
My world
Differently
Before
Settling
Back
In to receive
That which
Comes
Next
And next
And next,
When a bit
Just out
Of reach
Compels,
Shifting
My next
From what
Past me
Expected.

I fall
Back upon
My seat,
From feet,
Having
Risen,
And reached,
Twisted,
And folded,
And held
And held
And held
Still,
Still drawing
Air
In
And out.
And I lay
This body
And its
Echoes
Of our dance
Together
Down
One bit
At a time,
As my breath
Slows my beat
And my skin
Goes cold.
And I let
Myself
Be
And be
Bound
By
What I can
Feel
Inside,
Settling
One bit
At a time,
Letting
Right now
Be enough.

I feel
The world
Move
Around
Me,
Lain
Still and quiet,
And watch
The urges,
The questions,
The answers,
Rise
And fall
Away.
And I
Breathe,
And feel
The world
Move the
Most quiet,
Most still
Parts of me,
And the sound
Of “still”
Becomes “skull,”
And the sound
Of “skull”
Becomes its
Image,
And my mind
Settles
Buzzing
Blue wings
Just above
The left
Temple,
Before
I smile
And wiggle
Fingers
While
The chimes
Bring me back.

I follow
The dark
In my head,
To familiar
Edges
I know
And know
Don’t
Have
What is
Promised.
And I
Lift
My chin
To look
Beyond
Where light
Falls
And bounces
And suddenly
The light
Splits
And I remember
My way
Back.

I notice,
Suddenly,
A path
Between
Now
And
Then,
Between
Here
And
There
Between
I
And
Thou.
And I
Recognize
All spaces,
Then,
As paths.

My limbs
Folded
Beneath,
I bend,
Descend,
Bring the eye
Between
To ground
Below
To ground
Me.
And I notice,
I bring
Emily
To rest
Here
Sometimes,
In the pose
Of a child
Where the world
Goes
Still.

I glide
Between
Arms
And
Push heart
Before
Crown
And smile
As love
Clothed
As worry
As panic
As spite
Insists
Something
Wrong
Must be
Right
Or made
Right
For I am.

I approached
My Self
With kindness
This morning,
Preparing
The space
To support
And to stretch,
To tear
So to mend.
I received
My Self
With kindness
This morning,
And then
We
Received
You.

I breathe,
And notice
Their shades
There
With me,
The older
And the younger,
Quietly
Yearning
To be
Received.
My mind
Pins
Them there,
In respective
Corners,
Puzzles
To be sorted
And compiled,
Until my
Heart does
What my mind
Cannot.
Then we breathe
And we settle.

The practice
Today
Has been
Not so much
A flow
But
A tumble,
Bumping
And crashing
Into one
Hard place  
Then the next,
As I breathe
Space
Into the gaps
And smile
With
The thought
That today
Seems not
For floating.

I bring
The third eye
To the ground
And breathe,
Feeling the
Weight
I call “mine”
In the world
That we share.
He calls out,
Stops me,
From behind
And asks
For the part
That comes
After
The writing,
The part
That is
Us
Loving
Us.
And I
Pause
Insight
And slip
This weight
I call “me”
Back
Into bed
For some
Cuddles.

It slinks
Around the edges
Of my
Intention
As I flow
And pause
And flow,
A version of
The Questions
Without
Answer,
Asking me
To prove
That
I am.

I hear you
Moving
Behind
Me
And before
Me
And I hear
A bit
Of me
Say no
To what
It feels like
To love you
Right now,
So I turn
To that bit
And lean
Into all
It is
Until
It is
All
There is
And without
Bits
It’s only
The love.

I approach
My mat
Weary
And wary
Of what
I
Have
To offer
From
Beneath
The grip
Of pain,
And pain
About pain,
And about
That,
Too.
But the rhythm
Is easy
To track
To warmth
That melts
The intention
Between layers,
Between knower
And known,
Seer and seen,
And then,
Suddenly,
Between now
And now
And now.
And when  
After arrives
(And me
With it),
I notice
What’s
Been offered
And relish
The relief.

I circle
‘Round
Bends
That live
In my body
Even
When
We
Are
Still,
And look
Past
The path
I carry
With me
To the ask
I’ve not
Heard
Clearly
(Ever,
Or for some time).
And I
Take
The hand
I know
As mine,
And step
Into
The light.

I rise
And lift
And feel
The tug
Of Earth
On the flesh
I call mine,
And the tug
Of love
On the songs
I call mind.
And my smile
And I
Tug back
Before settling
Into one
Or none
Right now.

Light
Fills
The stillness,
Silent, first,
Then crashing,
With my breath
A beat
Behind,
And I breathe,
And will
Breath
To fill
The stillness,
Meeting
The light,
Greeting
The crash,
And holding
Steady
In between.
And I breathe.

I watch
My mind
Cast words
In lines
That carve
Then bind
To stem
The weeping
Of wounds
They leave
Behind.
And I breathe
Into
My body
Onto
My mat
Next to
My partner
Stitching bits
Together
In order
To
Remember.

I shift
To rise
And
To unfold
And watch
Legs
Extend from
Hips
He’s known
And held
As me,
And I
Wonder
What
And whom
They’re for
Before
I join
Him
And the others
In pretending
Together
To be
Apart.

She flits
Through my mind
And I
Feel her
Laughter
In my bones
As joints
Release
With a pop.
She rests
Around the edges
Of my mind
And I feel
Her burdens
As I
Reach into
Growth.
She gazes
Into my eyes
And I
Recognize
Myself in grey
As breath fills
My body,
Making room
For all
Of what
Could be.

I read it
In his voice
And giggle
As answers
Obscure
Responses
From no one’s
And everyone’s
View
The words
Slip
Between
Memories
Without
Traction.
And she giggles
To
Herself
Once more.

I find
Myself
In
A world
Apart
All glimpses
And echoes
I can’t
Quite
Clutch
With words
Before the
Bell
Rings
Me back
Into skin
And I breathe
Space between
There
And here
And feel
Waking
And forgetting
As one.

I slip
From
Now
To the nows
That pose
As laters
And I
Wonder
What’s to be.
I watch
With eager
Curiosity
Then
Anxious
Uncertainty
The loves
I’ve gathered
Along
The way
To make
My later
Matter.
And in the space
Between
Postures
Of not knowing
I find
The watcher.