I answer the phone,
And my heart stops.
My eyes blur,
And my world cracks.

I am on the ground
Hugging my knees to my chest,
And I am numb.

I don’t feel the shaking of my body,
I don’t hear my sobs that wrench from my cracking body
I don’t see the people stare at me as they witness my utter destruction.

My body is breaking.
My soul is shattering.
My whole world is growing dark,
And the only thing I can do is scream,
And shake,
And cry,
And wish to take you’re place.

I can’t fathom a world where I can’t call you
Where you won’t be there to give kind advice,
And stern reality.

With a shaking voice, I ask “How will I ever be the same without him?”
My stepmother responds “You wont.”
-ALC March 13, 2019