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Mar 2018
There is a hole in me
it's a perfect circle
No need to pinpoint the location
It's not as if anyone could fill it
Even if they knew exactly where it is

There is a hole in me
Maybe it encompasses my field
You see it in my hands or in my back
This hole doesn't have a bottom
Maybe it could, but it's like the ocean
Too deep to measure without giving myself to it

I've dumped many relationships in this hole
accuse me of ******
but no one will find their bodies
I've had some people climb down there on their own volition
thought they could be my archeologist
save me from this emptiness
I never saw them again

If a stranger happens to run into it, I'm prepared for this
I've wrapped caution tape and neons signs with the words "slippery when wet!"
And another sign that says "construction at work, drive slowly"
Another sign says "Not liable for any accidents, procceed at your own risk"

At night I hold a flashlight to the hole
and see spiderwebs but no spiders made of jagged rocks
other than that I see no sign of life
sometimes when I'm feeling pointless I take a shovel
and toss some dirt down
Hopeful that could make a difference
When the wind hits 75 mph in my head
the hole E C H O E S
Β Β it has powerful acoustics
sometimes eery mostly hollow
but often sounds like a mountain lion in heat

There is a hole in me that might never be filled or tapped for well water
This hole was created by a broken family
A Mother and A Father
And now passed on to the daughter

Because of this hole I am suggestible to fall in other holes
like the depression hole
it's very dark in there and millions of people are in it
but no one is aware they aren't alone
and once you're there no one plans on getting out
or the financial hole
where people in fancy suits consistently throw down reciepts
or call out your name but never lend a helping hand
Or the desperation hole
where creepy men lurk in the shadows
begging to give me money if I undress them and open my legs
with my eyes shut

there could be something for me
Somewhere down there
in my hole
A secret I need to know or a way into another world
But I am too scared to fall in and let go
It could be the death of my ego
Wish I could have a family. Feel like an orphan. Now I just want my own family. But a healthy family not a cursed passed down from generations.
Egeria Litha
Written by
Egeria Litha  24/Two-Spirit/Scarlet Town
(24/Two-Spirit/Scarlet Town)   
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