i built a fortress around your body
when i realized that's all it was
i spent years asleep in a cold desert
waiting to be awoken
waiting for your moments of clarity
those sweet miniscule pieces of time that stretched on and on that i took in like oxygen, like *****

i started to fall out of love on september 18th,
all morning i stared at how the lights made rainbows on the
motel floor
i wanted to chain-
smoke cigarettes all day and watch
those diamonds dance
while our love rotted away, unseen
in the corner of the room
my sanctuary now a crime scene
though there was no blood from the kinds of things that were murdered here

those colors the only thing left in your wake,
the only truly beautiful thing left