i'm not seeking an end to this sorrow, because i feel that feeling as sad, broken, remorseful as i am might propel me to doing something about changing my existence for the better, not temporarily,
but permanently. i want this summer to be the summer whereby i effectuate this change, effectively return to the world from the shadowlands in which i've existed for so long.
Adapted from diary notes from 16th-17th March 2014.