Boston    1995 -    132 followers
I only have but one complaint at the moment:
Don't paint me black when I used to be golden
I only have but one complaint at the moment:
Don't paint me black when I used to be golden
P Julianna
P Julianna
Mar 31      Mar 31

I tried to tip toe into his life
Dipping my feet in first to see how
Cold his waters would be,
But they were warm and innocent
Unlike the cold ice my feet have met
So many times before

Worry began to creep in as I submerged myself,
With fear of being the first to
Turn his waters
Cold, but lying under his sheets so close
I couldn't tell where his body ended
And mine began,
I realized swimming in these
warm waters made me
Just as vulnerable,
That for the first time I've met someone
Who could melt my ice away, and I'm
Terrified

P Julianna
P Julianna
Mar 17      Mar 18

You asked me how I would spend
My last twenty-four hours if they started
At this very moment

We talked late at night planning all the
Things we'd have to do, like camping
Or watching the sunset
But I was too afraid to admit that
I would only need to fall asleep
Next to you with your lips
pressed against mine, and I'd die happy

I got to thinking and realized come August,
We will all be spending our last twenty-four hours
Together in the summer sun, and then
College will take us far away to start our
Separate adventures out of this small town

Sitting in my bed late at night
I couldn't help but cry because if there's
Anything I'm more afraid of than death
It's being alone, and I can't take another year
Of starting over

I'm trying to forget but
Every creak of a
Door
Is the sound
of your apartment's
Stairs and
When I step into the
February night
The only coldness I
Feel comes from the
Chills
Going down my
Spine as your hand
Rests on my
Neck
Gently tapping at my
Collar bone

I've never felt so
Poisoned, My senses
Never so robbed

P Julianna
P Julianna
Feb 11      Feb 11

I stare at you
Sitting in front of me,
And I feel horrible

You ask me why we haven't
Spoken in weeks and I'm
So sorry, but this time
I am the villain and you
Are the innocent
I am the user, and you
Are the used

I can't explain why I
Do the things I do,
But I hope you can feel my
Sympathetic stare on the back of your head
And realize I never meant
To hurt you

P Julianna
P Julianna
Feb 3      Feb 3

This is a really hard pill to swallow
Swallowing hard on my unspoken words
But I let another person yell at me
Just to tell me I am
Worthless, but the other girls
Don't have this problem, so maybe
He's right

I hate the word slut because
Actions don't define me
If you have words you want to say, please
Whisper them, because everyone knows how closely
I will listen and believe what you
Say, but you will continue to yell at me and
Tell me all the worst
Things about myself and
I will continue to change who I am
From the inside, out

old draft
P Julianna
P Julianna
Jan 12      Jan 13

Some people have
Only heard of the ocean

I stood there imagining being
Brought under, the feeling of
Panic for those few short
Moments as you are tossed around
With no way to tell which way is
Up, wishing to be brought back
To the safer depths of the ocean, but
You are spit back up
To the beach, as both the sand and the
Wave that just carried your
Panicked body slowly recede back
To the ocean where you are no longer wanted

Some people have
Only heard of love

But I don't think it is much different

P Julianna
P Julianna
Jan 5      Jan 5

My feelings are
Nipping at the heels of
My thoughts, which are
Nipping at the
Heels of my actions
And

I've never felt
So

Strange

In a race
Only with

Myself,
It's dragging on


Forever

 
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