when I was little, mum told me not to go too far, or Iwill be lost
she warned me about the monsters and creeps that live inside the forest
said don’t go there, it’s dangerous
told I might not come back, or turning into one

in the living room,
she always tells me about them
and how they threaten humans for years
there was a myth where they harm us
as if they’re something that is very dangerous

I went back to my chamber
staring at myself on the mirror

sighs.

poor old lady
sad to see how much she’s scared of monsters
not knowing and realising
that all this time, she’s actually given birth to one.

if I die, please don’t cry
don’t mourn on my graveyard
for i’ve been dead for my whole life
little did they know they have killed me inside ever since
with words, or doings

if i die, please don’t cry
what will you see is just my rotten body
what will you cry over is just my engraved names
what will you care about is just my adieu
in 6 feet under

if i die, please don’t cry
you weren’t there when i was still alive
you decided to succumb when i want to fight
you kicked up your heels when i was hurting for nights

promise me not to cry, my darling
mourning won’t change anything
always remember that you pushed me when all i did was begging

if you cry, that will just hurt me to the bone
knowing that to any of you, I only matter when i’m gone.

Once in a lifetime…I found a guy.
Someone that I never thought he’d be my home.
My safe place.

How I wish I met him sooner.
I want to hug him so bad.
Kiss him.
I want him to know how much I love him…
How much I adore him…
How thankful I am that he exists.
How my life went easier since he came.

How my heart is attached to him.
He gives me comfort in this cruel word.
He gives me love when hatred is all I got.
He lifted my burden.
He supports me when the whole world is trying to bring me down.
He gives me home when I am…homeless.
He protects me from things that could harm me.

i dont see him being optimistic and faithful as i am.

i dont see him believing in relationship we have. i dont see him believe in our future either. especially when he told me he does not know where this going to be.

and he doesnt see what i see.

o be young, and in love. aaah. -love, by lana del rey.

all i know is that love is the purest feeling in the world. loving the right person gives you peace.

makes me realised how beautiful… that love does not discriminate the difference between us.

it is beautiful to see how love unites us, but also disheartening seeing us separated by differences we have.

see how heartbroken it is how differences separate you from someone you truly love. and there is nothing you can do about it. you’re stuck. you’re powerless.

lowkey how I wish this is all a nightmare that I cant wait to wake up from.

I love you with all of my heart. i love you. i love you. i love you.

but **** valentine, i love you everyday. i dont need a special day to celebrate it. all the days ive spent with you are already special.

everyday is valentine day when im with you.

you are precious to me, a. you are my everyday valentine.

it was 5 April 2022.

tonight, as I reminisce the moment that day, I can't stop my lips to smile.

the eye contact we made that after 2 months apart,
and the hug at the airport like a long lost lovebirds finally reunite;
it still makes me smiling right until now.

that I can finally smell your odor again, that Versace Pour Homme suits you well. which I bought for you. makes me want to hug you longer and sniff it.
and drown my head on your shoulder.

yes, airport is the place where you can find the purest hug.