The storms are pounding
Destruction is rampant
No end seems in sight.
The day is endless
The night never ending
Will it ever, ever be right?

Lightning crashes
Winds are swirling
Torrents of water fall down.
The earth is shaking
The shelter is breaking
Thunderous sound resound.


Above the storm
the Calm prevails
Overlooking the turmoil below.
Awaiting the return
of order again
That Peace and Calm bestow.


Then it is over...

No more pounding
Silence, beautiful silence
Comes whispering in the ears.
The Earth becomes firm
The Sun is still shining
It dries up all the tears.

Through the debris
New hopes arise
Covering the scars below.
Growing stronger, stronger
As strength rebounds
Renewed by the seeds we sow.

Repairing the damage
Replacing the lost
Moving forward with or without.
Finding Hope in the future
as Faith reaches upward
Redeeming Love without a doubt.

--------------------------------
When the storms of life
Cause turmoil and strife,
The Son dries all my tears.
When all seemed lost
I counted the cost
Turned over all my fears.

I am surviving.
I am stronger still.

I think that I shall never see
A leaf as lovely without a tree
When it falls upon the ground
So gently placed to be found.
A child gathers it in her hands
Carefully places it on the sands
Hoping to grow a brand new tree
For all the world new life to see.

(c) Dec.2008
I spent my whole life addicted
To the streets
On my knees praying,
“Father help me please.
I can’t hide my disease of using You
All these years of lies, I was abusing You.
Seems any reason I could find wasn’t worth it.
What did my family do to deserve it?”
They shared so much pain and were in fear for me.
So much to lose, nothing to gain shed a tear for me
With thoughts of suicide and fantasies of death.
It was never the streets I was addicted to…
It was ****…

My Father was my example.  I have a lot of my father's traits.  He was a man of few words but his actions of caring carried much weight. Growing up on a farm in Western Nebraska, it seemed that it was a place where sandburs knew no bounds.  They were everywhere.  My father wore bib overhauls that had big pockets in the back. When I was little, the pockets were just right to fit my feet.  When we came to a sandbur patch, he would pick me up and carried me over the sandbur patches.  When I was tired after being with him on the farm and hot from the scorching summer heat, he cared for me.

My heavenly Father is my teacher through prayer, his word written and spoken and through the lives of others like my Mother and Father and many others.

Jesus is our example.  Growing up and even today, the 4 words that keep me going in the right direction are: What Would Jesus Do.  There is no better example to follow.

As a father, I try to follow the example of my heavenly Father.  There are times I fail miserably and must ask for forgiveness from my family.  My heavenly father never fails me.  He carries me through the sandbur patches of life.  He loves me unconditionally.  Some day I will set foot on the heavenly shore as He carries me over the last of life's sandbur patches on my final journey of life.

Even though I have never heard my earthly father say, "I love you son", I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved me.  When I would say to him, 'love ya Dad" his reply was always "uhuh".  I can't hear my heavenly father audibly say "I love you" but I know from all He does for me His love for me is beyond words.  His love transcends the audible and speaks directly to my heart.
              
I tried hard to not bring shame on my mother and father.

It was spring time after a long hard winter in Idaho and my family and I went to Nebraska to visit my folks.  This was more than 20 years ago but in my memory is as if it were yesterday.  I remember this time because when we arrived the weather was warm and my dad was still wearing his long underwear.  He had not been taking very good care of himself and I offered to give him a bath.  The long underwear came off leaving patterns on his skin where the underwear had pressed against his skin for a long time.

While the rest of the family and visiting family were talking in the living room, Dad spent some time soaking and getting the winter’s accumulation off.  He was rather pink when we were all done.  I noticed that his toe nails had grown long and down under, it could not have been very comfortable.  After getting him dressed in clean cloths we went into the living room.  I prepared a wash basin of water to soak dad’s feet some more and  got out my trusty nail clippers.

At some point in the 30 - 45 minute process all the conversation going on around me disappeared in the background and I was left with the feeling of being at the feet of Jesus and washing His feet. It was one of those moments in life that defines something in your life that you haven’t noticed before.  Even now, I can sit and reflect on this moment, which happens many times throughout a year, and imagine Jesus washing the feet of the disciples.  It is difficult to describe in words the emotions of this brief time in my life.  It had a profound effect on how I looked at those around me.  The opportunities were there all along.  I just had to open my eyes and “see” what God placed before me.  We see what we want to see most of the time.   Some place along the line, life changed from being “about me” to being “about Him”.  It was so liberating and freeing in my spirit.

Did anyone in the room realize what I was experiencing?  No.  This was something that was between my Lord and I and for a long time I kept it to myself.  If I remember right, the day I relayed this moment to my wife, she had tears in her eyes.  Maybe you have experienced moments that could inspire someone to be open in their walk with God.  Tell them.  You will be glad you did.

Sometimes when I fall
Into a pit of despair.
When the dark clouds roll
You are always there.

I offer a finger
and get Your hand.
To lift me up
to solid land.

Sometimes. Sometimes
I have no idea where I'm headed.
Directions of hope
Or some place most dreaded.  

But always. Always
I feel Your hand holding me.
Lifting me up to a new day
Standing. Where I need to be.

I would be lost with
More than I could bear
But You Oh Father.
You are Always There.

I am an American.
Proud to be called one.
When the flag goes by
Chills still creep over me.
Even after seventy plus years.

Many have died
Defending her name.
Defending the rights
Given by The Bill of Rights.
Freedom is definitely not free.

I ask my grandson when he was four
"What does that flag
hanging on the wall mean?"
He replied "Freedom".

Many have died
When stupid politicians
Ran the wars against us
Not the Generals who had the knowledge.

Eight years ago I remember clearly
someone we all know say;
"For the first time in my life
I am really proud of my country. "
Very disturbing words
I shall never forget.

Let us honor those who
have gone on before us.
Let us never forget
what we have and still stand for.
Let us stand and be counted.

For Freedom. Liberty. And much more.

My heart is heavy as we sit idlely by
watching all slip down the drain.

The love a mother has for a son
is without measure.
From the moment that life begins
a mother’s heart is our heart.
Her heart is our life,
until we are born.
Then she carries us in her heart
and in her prayers.

Her love for us is over shadowed
only by God’s love.
As we are in our Mother’s heart
We are in the heart of God.
He carries us in His heart until the day
we are joined once again with Him.

His love knows no bounds,
His love has no limits.
His love is with us
even in our darkest hour.

May God’s love and blessing
be with you in this hour of need.

April 17, 2008   (it has been 7 years since I stood here)

Anna Bell Williams

It is morning in Heaven for Anna and the angels rejoice.

I have known two great women in my life time.  The one who raised me and guided my life to become the person I am today and the one who allowed me to marry her daughter who helped me get over my backward ways.

There has not been a mother-in-law joke that ever fit my mother-in-law, Anna.  She has been a sweetheart to me for more than 40 years.  I particularly liked Anna’s attitude toward me; you see,  my wife said her mother thought I could walk on water.  Well, I most definitely can not accomplish that feat, of course, but I was not going to tell her that.   There were times I did good just to keep from drowning from time to time.

Anna has always been a caring, giving lady.  When she saw a need in someone’s life, she would give assistance in what ever form was needed.  When her neighbor and friend became terminally ill, she spent many hours, days and months taking care of her, making her last hours tolerable.  In the process Anna led her to a relationship with Jesus.  This is just one example of how she spent her life.

She became a surrogate mother to a young lady who was dying of cancer and was there for her when she died.

She was there for her sister, running errands and helping around the house, just doing what ever was necessary to lift her spirit.  There are numerous stories, I am sure, many of you have, as you remember her life and how she influenced your life in some way.  Success in life can be, and should be, measured by the difference you make in another’s life as you pass through this short time we have on this earth.  She was very successful in life.

One thing I noticed over the years, Anna was always on the go.  She only had one gear and that was “fast forward”. The only time she was “in park” was when she was asleep.   She loved to go to the coast.  Just mention going to the coast and she was out the door and ready to go.  Well, maybe not quite that extreme,  but close.

It was difficult for her the last few years to accept slowing down.  And even more difficult, accepting help instead of giving help.  The last time we sat at the kitchen table having a cup  of coffee, she talked about how hard it was to not be able to do the things she wanted to do.  We got a little misty together that time.

Over the years I have written a number of pieces which I gathered together and gave her a copy.  That morning she said there was one piece she read over and over when ever she was down in her spirit.  She said the words restored her spirit every time.  I never found out which piece that was but I was deeply touched and honored that she found the words a source of inspiration.

She has run the race and finished the course.  The long night is over and a new morning has dawned for her where no pain or sorrow will ever again touch her body and spirit.

To paraphrase a small piece I wrote about what my life has been and I hope will be: and I believe she experienced as well—goes like this
————————————————
Here she stood as the evening of life drew near
She tried to follow the paths found dear
Paths of love and honor,  from examples she did see
From those before her, that she strove to be.

Here she stood, asking, “did I make the right choice?
Did I follow the loud or the still small voice?”
Now, she understands the power of love.
It’s the power given by our God above.

Here she stood to survey her life today.
She began and ended, on the edge of the day.
The choices she made, Jesus was always near
His Grace and Mercy has brought her here.

Now she kneels in His presence, the race is run
His grace sustained her, the journey is done.
He brought her through, the dusk, the night
To a brand new day, what a wonderful sight.
————————————————
We rejoice with you Anna.  You are home now.  You are in his presence now.

Goodnight sweet lady.  See you in the morning.

July 4, 2015
Grandson Tony and Grandpa went to Mickey D's for breakfast. Grandpa was ready to vacate the premises when Tony barred the door. "Just a little while longer Grandpa." So Grandpa sat back down.

Soon a cake and five of the Mickey D people appeared and sang happy birthday. Tony was apparently being a little secretive and alerted the establishment when we clocked in. Grandpa cut four pieces of cake. Two to take  home for Lucy and Grandma. Two for Tony and Grandpa.

Tony then ask if he could give his piece of cake to someone. "Sure you can." grandpa replied. There were two tables with grandparent types and parents sitting 10 feet away. Tony picked up his piece a cake and a fork and squeezed in between the two tables and  placed the cake in front of the young fella who eagerly began eating it. Grandpa then noted the boy had Downs  Syndrome. The people at the table were pleasantly surprised at what had just happened. A grandmother came over where Grandpa was sitting and express that  it was a very thoughtful thing Tony did. The whole thing rather blew Grandpa away. But that's the way Tony is.  Full of surprises.

I was lost in this world from doing my will,
My need was great, impossible to fill.
Then someone told me of Your love divine,
How You came to earth to save mankind.
I called Your name Lord, not knowing the cross.
Would You be there, for me - the lost?
Would I be worthy to call Your name?
The deeds I had done, had caused You shame.
——————————-
Your forgave me Father as I knelt to pray
I gave you my life that glorious day
For in desperation I had reached for you,
Oh love divine, I found You so true.
With love and forgiveness You died on that tree
Your grace and mercy, is abundant and free.
Oh precious gift, from God above.
You waited for me with arms of Love.
————————————
You were there, oh Lord, waiting for me,
With arms open wide for all to see.
You lifted me up from my deep, dark sin,
And gave me peace, such peace, within.
I sought Your touch for the love I’d missed
From the times of doing, what I thought best.
I sought Your presence to receive Your love,
And found such joy, God’s gift from above.
—————————————
Your love covered me, in all my need,
I saw the cross where You did bleed.
I felt Your love growing deep within.
Your touch cleansed me from where I’d been.
You cleansed my soul from inside to out
By Your love divine, I have no doubt.
Your love surrounds me, all my days,
As I walk with You, learn your ways.
————————-
Lord, I call your name, now knowing the Cross
You are always there, for me - the lost.
You make me worthy to call Your name,
So the deeds I do, won’t cause You shame.

(c) 03-15-2016
The cold has gone
What once was brown , now green.
The air is cool
Spring in the air can be seen.

Players are gathered
Practice begins
for the games
to see who wins.

The ball is pitched
Ball aloft at last.
Runner touched home
the point is cast.

They finesse the ball
as they throw and trick.
To out wit the opponent
as the endings  does tick.

They win they lose
this season thus far.
Led by great coaches
has been better than par.

When the games are done
whether lost or won.
It is all in the fun
As they have a great run.

Before I knew You,
Your love reached out to me.
Before I knew You,
You waited patiently.
For me to see my need,
To trust You with my life.
Before I knew You,
My life was so empty

(C1)
Then You found me kneeling there,
Calling Your name in my despair.
You picked me up and held me tight,
Your touch, Your voice,
I saw the light.
Darkness was gone from my soul
Your grace, Your love,
Has made me whole.
----------------------------------
Before I knew You,
My heart was filled with sin.
Before I knew You,
You chose to take me in.
I’m a sinner saved by grace.
I trust You with my life.
Now I know You,
You changed my heart today.

(C2)
Now You find me kneeling here,
I call Your name I find so dear.
You pick me up and hold me tight,
Your touch, Your voice,
You are the light.
Darkness has gone from my soul
Your grace, Your love,
Has made me whole.
--------------------------------------
Now I know You,
You came into my life.
Now I know You,
You took away the strife.
There was no peace of mind
You knew my sorry life.
Now I know You,
Your gave me peace within.

(C1)
Then You found me kneeling there,
Calling Your name in my despair.
You picked me up and held me tight,
Your touch, Your voice,
I saw the light.
Darkness was gone from my soul
Your grace, Your love,
Has made me whole.
---------------------------------
Now I know You,
You have given life to me.
Now I know You,
Your blood has redeemed me.
Forever I’m set free,
To do Your will in me.
Now I know You,
Your love has transformed me.

(C2)
Now You find me kneeling here,
I call Your name I find so dear.
You pick me up and hold me tight,
Your touch, Your voice,
You are the light.
Darkness has gone from my soul
Your grace, Your love,
Has made me whole.

© 1-24-2006 J.L. Stevens
V1
Oh Mary do you see your Son
High upon the hill?
Your Son has come to this world
To do His Father’s will.
Behold the Lamb Oh Mary.
High upon the cross.
Behold the Lamb who shed His blood
To rescue you and me.

V2
He finds me in my deepest need    
When darkness comes around me.
He gives me peace in my soul    
And sets my spirit free.
I am baptized with His Spirit
He meets my every need.
Behold the Lamb of God
High upon the throne.

Chorus
Behold the Lamb of God
Who takes away my sin.
Behold the Lamb of God
Who cleansed my heart within.
My name is written there
In the Lamb’s Book of Life.
He is the great I Am.
The Savior of the world


Chorus

End
Oh Mary you are with your Son
The Savior of the world.

© 1-24-2006 J.L. Stevens
V1
Oh Mary do you see your Son
High upon the hill?
Your Son has come to this world
To do His Father’s will.
Behold the Lamb Oh Mary.
High upon the cross.
Behold the Lamb who shed His blood
To rescue you and me.

V2
He finds me in my deepest need    
When darkness comes around me.
He gives me peace in my soul    
And sets my spirit free.
I am baptized with His Spirit
He meets my every need.
Behold the Lamb of God
High upon the throne.

Chorus
Behold the Lamb of God
Who takes away my sin.
Behold the Lamb of God
Who cleansed my heart within.
My name is written there
In the Lamb’s Book of Life.
He is the great I Am.
The Savior of the world


Chorus

End
Oh Mary you are with your Son
The Savior of the world.

Her hair was beginning to grow back. She looked so alone even though she was standing in the midst of a crowd. No one was within six feet.  Would someone close by care?  Would someone give her a moment of their time?  Would there be a helping hand? A hand of friendship?

When the service was over, Jesus appeared in the form of a lady who had been sitting behind her.  The smiles, the head nods, wrote volumes in the passages of love.  The touch of someone who cared was a touch from Jesus.

I stood in the foyer of a large church I visited from time to time when in the area, trying to make eye contact with just one person as they passed by.  Not one smile in my direction.  Not a word of greeting to a visitor - nothing.  I left wondering where Jesus was in this church.  Time after time over a number of years I sought Jesus in just one person in this church. People came and went in their own little world that did not include anyone else. They brushed on by without even a smile.

It is the little insignificant things that we do for someone that makes a large difference in someone’s life.  We think, ‘what can I do? Oh that is nothing.” and then we don’t do anything. A smile, a touch, a moment of caring does not cost very much but the benefits to someone that may be feeling a little alone in this world can make a difference. Many  little things can add up to a big “something” that can make a difference in a life.

Can people see Jesus in us?  Can His love flow through us to be Jesus to someone that is lonely, in need of a friend or a kind gentle word?  We are His vessels that others see.  We may be the only Jesus someone has ever seen.   When I look into a mirror I want to see Jesus.

This was written in 1998 by my daughter as a comparative study in her 11th grade English class. Her instructor said it was the best piece she had ever received in the thirty some years of teaching.
-------------------------------------------------------­-----------------------
Beowulf or Christ?

by
Kristen Stevens

Two Standards are raised on the field of battle. The armies rush forward knowing there can be no middle ground, no halfway assault. Each knows only one can leave the battlefield the victor. In the epic tale of Beowulf , good and evil clash in the forms of Beowulf, Grendel, Grendel’s mother and the dragon.

Beowulf journeys to Herot in order to free King Hrothgar’s kingdom from the grip of the monster Grendel. Beowulf is a problem solver and Grendel is the problem. “The monster’s thoughts were as quick as his…claws: He…snatched up thirty men, smashed them…and ran out with their bodies” (119-122) Beowulf portrays Christ. He leaves his home for one purpose; to withstand evil. Christ left Heaven and went out into the wilderness to withstand the devil’s temptation. Beowulf and Christ both wrestle with the dark forces but in different ways. Beowulf used his hands “That mighty protector of men meant to hold the monster til its life leaped out”(791-792). Christ uses scripture to beat back His opponent.

Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word
that comes from the mouth of God (Duet. 8:3).

Do not put the Lord your God to the test (Duet. 6:16).

Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only (Duet. 6:13).


Neither opponent could break free without losing something.

Beowulf and Christ are both more than human. Beowulf has phenomenal strength and Christ is God’s son. Christ “came to save the world” (John 3:18). Beowulf leaves his home of comfort and peace to save his neighbors. “Beowulf…heard how Grendel filled nights with the horror…proclaiming that he’d go to …Hrothgar”(194-200). No man alive could match Beowulf and no man can ever match Christ.

Both of them go through a change. Each is “baptized”. Beowulf is baptized twice: once, when he jumps in the lake and once again by fire. When he comes out of the lake he is a changed man. He initially goes for fame but not the reason anymore when he heads home. “So…proved myself…guarding God’s gracious gift” (2177-2181). He is baptized the second time by fire from the dragon’s mouth. The first baptism is a wash or a cleansing. The second is a purifier. Fire refines. Beowulf is refined into a better man for eternity when he fights his last battle. “Beowulf fell back; its breath flared and he suffered, wrapped around in swirling flames” (2593-2595). Christ was baptized so that He could begin His work on Earth. “Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John” (Mat. 3:13). Before Beowulf’s baptism people see him as just a great man, but after people see him as a king. Christ was just a carpenter’s son, until he was baptized and became the King of Kings.

To compare Beowulf and Christ’s last battles, you have to look at what they were fighting. Beowulf fights the dragon. The dragon symbolizes death and our own reluctance to die. “The gold and jewel she had guarded for so long could not bring him pleasure much longer” (2239-2240). Dying means man has to leave behind all his material wealth. Beowulf is old when he fights the dragon. He is coming close to his death and it frightens him. He wants to protect his people. He is willing to lay down his life for them. Just like Christ laid down his life to save us from our dragon. When faced with death, Beowulf and Christ rise above human expectations. Beowulf defeats death - he killed the dragon. Christ overcame death and rose three days later. Both act as an intermediary between danger and their people. Beowulf stands before the dragon. He blocks the path to his people. Christ stands between humans and God. Through Him God sees us as pure. Christ blocks the judgment that mankind deserves.

The last similarity between Beowulf and Christ is what happened after their deaths. After Christ died and rose, God’s chosen people went into a decline. They rejected Him and brought misery upon themselves. For two centuries they were persecuted by Rome. For two millennia they have been shoved aside and animated many times. Beowulf’s people took the treasure and the curse that came with it. “The spell…solemnly laid…was meant to last…Whoever stole their jewels…would be cursed” (3068-3070). Beowulf’s people have misery awaiting them.

As the army retreats, their brave general having fallen, they know they have won. The cost is great, but it had to be paid. Even today the battle rages on and the war will not end until the last enemy falls. Beowulf and Christ, both paid the price for their people’s protection and freedom. The enemy exacted its toll, but it was not enough. The hero and the Savior live on today.

Practicing songs on my guitar
Before Sunday service strumming away
Getting it on the ole fashioned mode
For the old folks to hear,  to start their day.

Grandson Tony
Arrives with a grin
What now?
Thinking within.

Yellow pad note
Was coming near
Stuck on my forehead.
It was made clear.

Finished the song
The note was so near
Removed from said head
Said **"Bob was here"

Broken Child
Broken Home
Broken Parents
Broken Lives

Broken Promises
Broken Vows
Broken Love
Broken Future

Broken...


When will it ever end?

©5-24-06

The canvas of a child’s mind
Is blank when he is born.

The mind of a child is like a garden in the spring time
It is planted, watered, and nurtured , and over time grows
into something beautiful.

Many times I just need to stop what I am doing and listen… listen to what the “still small voice” is trying to tell me. Taking time to smell the lilacs, so to speak, to soak in the beauty around us, to reflect that God really is God and not a figment of our imagination, is what life should be about. Turning off the things that interrupt our mind (tv/radio/neighbor/spouse ;-) , etc) and listening and seeing the simple joys in life, gives me peace for today and hope that tomorrow will be even better.

My joy these days is in a 24 pound little boy who entered this world 13+ months ago not under the best of circumstance but loved just the same. I would not trade him for all the money in the world. He is the light of my life. When I come home very tired, it would be easy to do what I want… rest, but the look on his little face when I come into the room somehow sparks a little more energy in me to pick him up. He lays his head on my shoulder, gives a sigh, and all is well with the world. Actually, all is well for both of us. Sort of like laying your head on the Lord’s shoulder.

In the spring time, gardens are planted and begin to grow. For him, (my grandson) his mind is like a garden. The seeds planted in his early life, the time taken to talk and play with him, watered with love and compassion, will grow and develop and hopefully the beauty of his garden will crowd out the **** seeds that the winds of the world blow in from time to time. Love always triumphs over hate if you never give up.

I know many kids never had a chance at an early age to grow and bloom into a beautiful garden. Years later, **** killer (God) was applied, the soil tilled by His hand, revealed the potential of their garden. The gardens they grow are beautiful in the eyes of our Lord and Savior. When someones garden is getting a little dry, we need to help water their garden with love, compassion and understanding from our abundance. The small things that don’t cost much but have a big impact on the growing beauty of a garden are important not only to children but to big people as well.

Is there any better way to spend our time than to nurture a growing garden? I think not. I may not live to see my grandson’s garden bloom and produce great things as he becomes a man but I know God will honor the planting and watering I do beyond the day He takes me home.

7-1-08
Time has passed and my grandson is now three. What an age this is. New learning, every day, is taking place and I am a part of it. It is a great honor to help plant God’s love in this little boy. Now that I am retired we are out and about many days of the week. We are still chasing squirrels, watching for fire engines and high flying jets, and meeting new people in the park. Some of the new people are pretty nice and Tony knows which ones they are.

A reporter followed us around last October during one of our many visits to the City Park in Twin Falls Idaho. She did a great job of writing a story about nothing of importance, but it was and is important to Tony since it was about him.  “Walk in the Park” search in the Times News will get:


http://m.magicvalley.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/taking-a-walk-in-the-park-with-grandpa/articlecef84065-d992-5a06-a1c8-631123517f4e.html?mobiletouch=tr­ue

7-5-08
Well it is the day after turning 65, my feet hurt after a morning of “walking in the park”. Tony rode his trike and I got some needed exercise. Today is a great day. Yesterday I was not feeling all that chipper and may, yes just may, have been a little grouchy. It happens when my glucose level gets too high. I made a comment to one of the family who brought home a burger in a paper sack… “you got any grouch pills in there?” A few minutes later I heard Tony say to someone, “we need to find Grandpa’s grouch pills.” It cracked me up and we did not need to find the “grouch pills”. The little guy has a way of shining a light in the darkness and brightening up the whole room. I imagine God is laughing and I suppose God finds our “grouchiness” to be rather silly. Actually it is rather pointless, non-productive, and self-centered activity that gains nothing… oh where did I leave those grouch pills. Aaah yes, thank you Father. I needed that. When you can’t find your grouch pills just look up and se Jesus.


04-03-2021
Time has passed... can you imagine that?... and I’m still here at 77.  Tony is now 16. He has great plans on what he wants to do. May it happen. He will be driving the old man now.

Probably 6 years ago October 31 we were in McDonald’s. Tony and Lucy were dressed for the occasion. The lady behind the counter asked if I was going to dress for Halloween. I told her I was already dressed... that I was going as a grumpy old man.  Been practicing all year. She just laughed.  See what I have to put up with???

Just a story.
When I was a kid... yes there was a time I was a kid, the garden was just South of the house.  Mom and I worked in the garden a lot.  Sometimes when she was not in the garden I would lay between the carrot rows, pull a carrot out of the sandy soil, brush off the sand and have a very fresh yummy carrot.  They were soooo tender they seemed to melt in my mouth.  Anyway, when I was finished eating the carrot I would put the top back into the hole.  No one was the wiser.  No one knew the difference or so I thought.  I did notice the carrot top would wilt which looked a little suspicious but... there was a gopher problem so maybe the gophers ate the carrots.  Sounded like a good story to me.  "Did the gopher eat the carrot mom?" "Yes probably so."

I found out years later.... Mom knew who the gopher was.  BUSTED.

I was telling this story to my grand daughter Lucy after school one day.  Her eyes brightened up and said, "That is a funny story grandpa."  So here it is added to the memories of a grandpa.  Lucy keeps telling people, strangers even, "you should hear this. Grandpa tell them about the carrots."  The story has latched onto her 5 year old brain and won't let go.

So... the next time you are eating a carrot... don't fib to your mom.

A Gang of Guns was walking down the street
Looking for trouble, Someone to defeat.
The Guns saw a man who looked very loaded.  
One Gun shot him in the head. He was goaded.

"Please don't shoot me Gun. " the man had pleaded.
"I have a wife and kids. I am needed!"
"Dude" said the Gun when he found no money.
"You are a real loser. Ain't it funny?"

Got to get the Guns off the street.
Too many people dying, blown off their feet.

Note.  
2016— 781 killed
2017— 664 killed
2018 —555 killed.  CPD
2019 -- 498 killed
2020 -- 772 killed
2021 -- 797 killed
2022 -- 695 killed
2023 --

Those who pull the triggers.
Need an appointment with the diggers.

I shipped off a Cologuard box today. Told the UPS lady to “be careful with the box. I don’t want the crap beat out of it”. She broke into laughter.

It's by His grace we come to Him
Not what we do, are we saved from sin.
He condemns us not, our sins are forgiven
He frees us from ******* on our way to Heaven

Come to the cross and receive His full love
Only He can give from the Father above.
Come to the cross and kneel at His feet
Give Him your life and do not retreat.

Come to the cross, Come to His love
Come to Him now, God's gift from above.
His love is abundant, His love is free
For He paid the price, He died on the tree.

Go forward with Him through all of your life
Give Him your pain and all of your strife.
Comfort and joy while walking with Him
Peace in your soul, forgiveness within.

(chorus)
Oh, come to Jesus, Come just now
Kneel at the cross with tears flowing down
He will forgive your sin and set you free
Come to Him now, He's waiting for you.

The cow jumped over the moon.
Udderly de-fence-less..

Every where I go these days
I see many many a crow.
Some are black some are white
Many colors they do grow.

They tackle many hard jobs each day
Holding together what would fall apart.
The crows get together in very tight groups
And accomplish much until ripped apart.


Then I found out in my observations
they all had the same first name.......
VEL.


Lunacy prevales when all alone.

(scale of 1 to 10)

1 - Shallow, Narrow, Short
                    TO
10- Deep, Wide, Endless

Shallow -  It's all about ME!
Deep -  It's all about THEE!

Narrow -  Limited Perspective
Wide -  Unlimited Perspective

Short -  Conditional: until... whatever.
               (one night stand)

Endless-  Unconditional: Forever.
               (Life time stand)

       1[ ]  2[ ]  3[ ]  4[ ]    5[ ]
       6[ ]  7[ ]  8[ ]  9[ ]  10[ ]

No one is a 10 but God,
But we can strive to be like Him.

8        8       h     | q    h
1         2       3     | 2    1
Draw me close | to You

8        8   h   |  q       h
1         3   5   |  6       5
Lead me in  | Your way.

8        8        h    |   q   h     | q   h    | q   h
1         3        5    |   6   5     | 3   2     | 3   2
Draw me close |  to You, | I pray, | today.

8       8     h  |  q    h
1        2     3  |  2    1
Lead me on | the path

8       8        h       |   q    h
1        3        5       |   6    5
You would have |  me take.

8        8      h      | q   q-q   | q   h
1         3      5      | 3   2-3   | 2   1
Draw me close | to You,  | today.

8         8      h     |   q   q      q       | q q-q    | q  h
5         6      8     |   2    1      8       | 5 6-8   | 6  5
Draw me close |  to Your heart | today, | I pray.

8        8      h      |  q   q      q     | q  h      | q  h
1         3      5      |  5   6      5     | 1  2       | 3  2
Draw me close | to Your side | I pray, | today.

8        8      h      |  q  h
1         3      5      |  6  5
Draw me close |  to You.

8        8        h    |  q  h
6        7        8     |  6  5
Draw me close |  I pray.

8         8      h     | q   h     | q  h
1          3      5     | 3   2     | 1  1
Draw me close | to You,| today.

© 07-04-04 John L. Stevens

Every morning I wake up
To a brand new day.
Every morning I talk to You
Praise You as I pray.
Every morning is a wonderful day.
————————-
Every day I can praise Your Holy name
For the love You’ve given me.
Every day I can live my life for You
In Your will, I want to be.
Every day You give me peace within
In my heart, in my life.
Every day You calm the troubled waters
And take away the strife.
It’s a day one step closer to You.
It’s a day full of joy in You.

Every morning I wake up
To a brand new day.
Every morning I talk to You
Praise You as I pray.
Every morning is a wonderful day.
————————-

Every day I can see Your works abound
In the mountains and valleys below.
Every day I catch the fragrance in the air.
Of the flowers you did sow.
Every day in the quiet times with You
I seek Your wonderful face.
Every day I listen to Your voice
I know I’m saved by Your grace.
It’s a day of rejoicing in You.
It’s a day of sweet peace in You.

Every morning I wake up
To a brand new day.
Every morning I talk to You
Praise You as I pray.
Every morning is a wonderful day.
————————-
Every day I can see the rugged cross
Where You bled and died for me.
Every day I can follow in Your steps.
Where You lead me, in the path I see.
Every day I can glorify Your name
In the closet, in the street.
Every day You are raised up on high.
For other lost souls to meet.
It’s a day full of grace in You.
It’s a day of sweet mercy in You.

On the morning I wake up
To Heaven’s brand new day.
On this morning in Your presence.
I’ll finally make my way.
This morning will be a glorious day.
This morning will be a glorious day
On this day I will touch Your face.
All Your glory above I will see.
On this day when pain and sorrow cease.
The race is finished for me.
It’s the day I find glory in You.
It’s the day I find glory in You.

-Ending – - – - – - – - -
I can see the gates of Heaven
The lights are shining bright.
I can see the angels rushing
On wings of silent flight.
When I’m standing in Your presence.
There no darkness turns to night.
What a day of rejoicing this will be.
What a day of rejoicing this will be.
- – - – - – -
This morning I’ve awakened.
To Heaven’s brand new day.
This morning in Your presence.
I’ve finally made my way.
This morning is a glorious day.
This morning is a glorious day.
- – - – - – -
This morning I’ve awakened.
. . .
This morning in Your presence.
. . .
This morning is a glorious day.
Rev(8-31-04)


“Every morning I wake up is a good day.
Every morning I wake up and give God
the glory, is a wonderful day.
The morning I wake up to Heaven’s
brand new day, is a glorious day indeed.”  jls

So
Went to a rally
And a riot broke out.
Dumb heads against me
Started to holler and shout.

They threw bottles and rocks
Shouted bad words.
"Expressing their humanity"
Like a flock of ***** birds.

Humanity? Oh come on!
Hired punks is what they are
That need a big dose
Of Singapore justice by far.

Would like to dump
A large large dose
Of butyl mercaptan
On them. Oh so close.

They are not protesters
They are **** bags. Skunks!

My faith is in my Jesus
My anchor is in Him.
When turmoil comes my way
His power is still within.
He keeps me through the bad times
And guides me through the good.
His love is always with me
On His promise I have stood.

My hope is in my Jesus
My life is in His hand.
The hope of life eternal
On His promise I will stand.
The hope of Joy in heaven
The hope of Glory above.
The hope that fills my soul today
Is because of His great love.

My love comes from my Jesus
And fills my heart today.
His love is overflowing
I have love to give away.
His love is still within me
His love is so divine.
I kneel before my savior
Grace and mercy’s always mine.

It’s by Faith, Hope and Love
I have come to Him today.
Can’t have one without the others
There is no other way.
My faith I keep in Jesus
My hope He will secure.
His love is always with me
With all three I will endure.

The greatest of these is Love.

There's a place to go on Sunday morn
A place to meet good friends
Where you can laze around with cup in hand
And curb your latest bends.

Satisfaction comes in many forms
You can bet there is no lack.
All you need to do is go
But first get out of the sack.

See you at St. Arbucks.

A wasted life, from fog of use.
Scars untold, years of abuse,
Bends the mind, from right to wrong.
Life out of tune, no longer a song.
Scars so deep, it covers the heart
no hope shines through, no point to start
to erase the pain, it seems insane
To a life gone wrong,

Through the fog, a point of light
Shone bright,
At first, then to fade, to die
from self pity and pain, from the lie,
Can not forgive the pain of past.
Can not forgive myself, to last.

Through the fog, a hand reached out.
Took my hand, I had my doubt.
Been there, many times before
The hurts and hang ups, seemed to soar.
The voice said, “You are forgiven.”
“It's time to trust, to start livin'.”
The chains fell off, I was free.
To start anew, To trust, to BE.

A wasted life, in years of fog    
Now Forgiven.

Where function once was,
Had from the start.
Now,  a missing part.
Gone now.
Some how.

Where feeling once was,
That used to serve.
Now a broken nerve
Dead now
Some how.

He looks out the window,
out the door, down the hall,
to pass the time of day and night.
Seeing the pain reflected
from the faces of others
not knowing how to handle their plight.

Feeling their hurts and sorrows
as are his own – crushing.
He knows pain, up close and personal
It takes control, seizing the moment
                                               the day.
In the midst of suffering...
In the place of indignation...
Pens the words of sadness and sorrow.
Pens the thoughts of encouragement and love.
Giving hope and smiles to others
Trying to not let pain win - maybe tomorrow.

What more can we do
when a brother is down.
To encourage a smile
to let go of the frown.

“There is no shame in
doing the best you can
with what you have.”

“Have mercy on Letter Four.
Take away the pain, for evermore.”

"Papa. Read my the four little pigs and the BIG BAD POUF." With emphasis on the big bad "POUF", we begin the fascinating journey of the pigs and the rehabilitation of the "Pouf".

My granddaughter (age 2) loves the story and when ever we come to the Big Bad she says the "POUF" part. It rather sounds like a French pastry.

The fourth pig, as everyone knows, is Momma pig, she sent the defenseless little pigs out the door with a warning, "the BIG BAD "POUF" likes to eat little pigs." Seems to be a common malady of "Poufs" and Humans.

The BIG BAD "POUF", we are told, watched from the top of the hill where he lived. He was a considerate "Pouf"... letting the little pigs build their straw, sticks and bricks houses before offering to be a building inspector to test the strength of straw and sticks. The "Pouf" condemned the first two houses... huffing and puffing and all of that. All the hair on the little pigs chin could not stop the tinsel strength test performed by the Big Bad "Pouf".

Everyone knows that brick is stronger than straw and sticks but we have a Big Bad "POUF" that begs to differ.  Consequently, he ends up in hot water, much like Humans who make bad decisions.  Not the brightest and smartest choices made in Pig/"Pouf" Land.  At least this pig did not put the lid on the *** and have "POUF" for lunch.

The "POUF" became a reformed "Pouf" staying on his hill top.  No more Big Bad for him.  Kind and gentle. A NEW "POUF"!

Now 60 years ago the Building Inspector in this story got into hot water and became the lunch of the brick house pig. The other two pigs became lunch of the "POUF" but I suppose I will not be telling that to my two year old any time soon.  

There are many versions of the story. Things have changed over the years.  The Three Little Pigs live happily ever after and the "Pouf" now stays up on the hill and is a GOOD BOY.  Getting into hot water can be a life changing moment... provided the lid is NOT put on the kettle.  Moral to this story... stay away from pigs who carry hammers, trowels and squares. Or.  Don't be a blow hard.

(c) 02/14/2012 by John Stevens

Received a call from
a suspect fraud line.
I answered:

“Sheriffs office.
Fraud division.
How may I help you?”

Funny thing happened.
Line went dead.

© 1-16-2005  John L. Stevens
(verse one)
I was walking down the highway of life
Doing my thing , and creating strife
In my life and others around me.
Then I found the highway Jesus walked.
When I took His hand in mine.
-Chorus 1  ------------

(verse two)
Jesus took away the pain in my heart.
Gave me peace, a brand new start.
In my life and others around me.
For I’ve found the highway Jesus walked.
And He takes my hand in His.
-Chorus 1  ------------

(verse three)
Jesus is the road under my feet
Leads to the Cross, with grace complete.
In my life and others around me.
Now I travel the highway Jesus walked.
As He takes my hand in His.
-Chorus 1  ------------

Chorus 1
Gladness and joy found me,
Overtook me in my sorrow.
Gladness and joy dwells in my heart
And gives me hope for tomorrow.
Yes, He gives me hope for tomorrow.
-------------------------------
(verse four)
Oh brother do you need a new road.
Follow the savior, He’ll carry the load.
In your life and others around you.
When you find the highway Jesus walked.
When He takes your hand in His.

Chorus 2
Gladness and joy will find you.
Overtake you in your sorrow.
Gladness and joy will dwell in your heart
And give you hope for tomorrow.
Yes, He’ll give you hope for tomorrow.
-----------Repeat Chorus one

(rev.2-25-05)

Going through my life
Looking for something different.
Going through the motions
Out of focus... badly bent.

Trying hard to be
someone else, you see
Not facing my demons
Not loving my self.
Searching, searching
with "ME" on the shelf.

Dark, invisible bars
always holding me back.
They're of my own making.
There seldom is a lack.

If I don't soon stand
on my own two feet
Where will I end?
What end will I meet?
      Will I be gone?


( the rest of the story


You picked me up
from the muck I was in.
You cleaned me up
I'm forgiven within.
You picked up the pieces
of my shattered life.
You put me together
without pain or strife.

I'm going, going, still going.
I'm going, going, still growing.
I'm going, going, gone,
To my Father side.
Where I reside.

e3Author:  Kristen Stevens
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
happy thoughts
Current mood: blissed out

Going to try something new for this one. I'm going to be happy or an approximate facsimile of it. Now you may ask, how does one go about getting into a happy frame of mind?

-Well, I find browsing the bumper sticker app is a good way if you are using your computer as a sole ***** of happiness.

-Watching the HMV hell video on my main page makes me giggle like the school girl (let's face it I was never a giggly school girl but the metaphor works)

-Thinking about how few people will actually survive the coming zombie apocalypse due to their utter stupidity finally catching up with them. (oh, I believe I’m getting giddy now)

-2012 because whatever is/is not going to happen people are going to lose their minds and well, I call it culling of the genetic herd.

-Milk, it does a body good. (I know, I know for any grammatical stickler out there it should be “does…well” but that’s not the line)

-Dr. Who, although I’m still waiting for my TARDIS boarding pass one day my doctor will come



Ok I’m going to quit now. If I get any happier, I might do some permanent damage to my cynical synapses. *contented sigh

Here I stand so shaky, as I begin to walk
Learning from Mom, learning to talk.
The examples I see will shape my way
The decisions I make, will shape my day.

Here I stand to begin, in life’s early hour
I’ll test the limits, I’ll test my power.
In the terrible twos, the decisions to come
Are made by the hand, and shaped by Mom.
—————————————————
Here I stand at the dawn, the edge of the day
With decisions to make and prices to pay.
The choice is mine and mine to make
The decisions I choose will make or break.

Here I stand a teen in the prime of life
A time of joy, a time of strife.
I stand at the crossroad as I start these years.
There is the road of honor, the road of tears.
—————————————————-
Here I stand to choose again and again.
Do I choose to loose or do I choose win.
One road I see will cause me pain.
The other I see will grant me gain.

Here I stand at a crossroad, to choose this hour
The choice I make is in my power.
To choose the wrong or choose the right
I will set my course, I will set my plight.
—————————————————-
Here I stand as I marry, the Love of my life
Become one with her, to be my wife.
The vows we say, the promise we make
Are made forever, we will not break.

Here I stand by my Love, our daughter’s first hour
Now Mother and Father, with our delicate flower.
The example she sees, the example I live
Is the greatest gift, a Father can give.
————————————————
Here I stand at the bedside, my mother’s last hour.
She withstood the storms, of time and its power.
Though times were rough, she withstood the test
Her love sustained me, she gave me her best

Here I stand in awe of the example she set
Of truth and honor, I’m in her debt.
The decisions she made were examples to me
Helped mold my life, in what I could be.
—————————————————–
Here I stand as the evening, of life draws near
I’ve tried to follow the paths found dear
Paths of love and honor, from examples I see
From those before me, that I strive to be.

Here I stand did I, make the right choice?
Did I follow the loud or the still small voice?
For I now understand, the power of love
It’s the power given by the God above.
————————————————

Here I stand to survey my life today
I began and will end, on the edge of the day.
The choices I made, He was always near
His Grace and Mercy has brought me here.

Now I kneel in His presence the race is run
His grace has sustained me, the journey is done.
He brought me through, the dusk, the night
To a brand new day, what a wonderful sight.
——————————————————

His spirit resides in us, with us,
even when we no longer know who we are.
He carries us through the darkness,
is with us until the new morning
transforms us into who we really are.
A child of God.

When my Mother died this summer in June 1991 I felt set adrift in a vast ocean. Things would never be the same again. My mother would not be there to pray for me in the middle of the night. How would I survive this world without her praying? Maybe worst of all, I couldn’t go home again.

The home as I knew it growing up and until that day, had vanished in a moment’s time. The pain of the loss was not real, it seemed like a dream. I did NOT want to finish the last bits of paper work that needed to be done. That would make it all final.

I heard a county western song by Kathy Mattea, “Where’ve You Been” on TV in November. Five months after Mom died that song brought the total grief to bare that I must have suppressed all this time. It brought back memories of Mom saying “Where have you been” when I was over due to return home. She was concerned about my safety. Up until then I had not shed but a few tears. It finally hit. Hard.

Today, Sunday, Jan 12, 1992, I realized that I will be going home again. That the home my mother made for her children on this earth was not the home she had prayed for all these years. The sacrifices she made to raise four kids in adverse circumstances were made with love. They were made with a final destination in mind that few realize. The most important goal in all of life - to give your kids the love and understand of who God is, really is. Jesus went to prepare a place for us – the home coming of eternity. Mom is at home with Jesus and waiting for her children to come home. “Where have you been” may be on her lips again but I rather think it will be “I am so happy you made it home. Welcome home to stay; I want you to meet Jesus”.



Post comment 2010
My mother had the ability/curse of knowing when something was wrong with one of her kids.  I remember in 52 when my brother was in Korea.  We received a letter from my brother and my mother was happy. Two days later, it looked like a cloud had descended on her and she went around muttering, "something 's wrong with Eddie, " over and over.  This went on for three days and then the cloud lifted.  Later we found out the POWs working in the kitchen had put poison in the food.  My brother was close to death for three days.  My brother has the same curse.  He is 78 this month.

Today... June 6 2018
Mom is at home with her son Edwin, daughter Lois and son Wayne. I am the only one left to go home.

Home Bound
Almost home
Never more to roam.

Home bound.
Just up the road.
Soon I’ll be home.

Home bound
The tolls left behind.
Far away from home.

Home bound.
Where My Love lives.
We’ll never more roam.

Home bound.
The lights are on.
I’m almost home.

Home bound.
Where love is forever.
Nothing like being home.

I am home  now.


(C) 07-01-2018

(Going Home)

Stan is eighty seven      (Stan now is eighty eight)
bound for heaven         ( waiting now at Heaven’s gate)
where his Love
went on before him.

Some day soon
he will join June
Where the light
will never dim.

Time has past
since he hugged her last
now, the pain
unreal at times.

He knows she lives
where God’s Love gives
us Peace and
love so sublime.

And now….

His mission fulfilled
In what God willed
the race will end
never more to roam.

He made the right choice
The Angels rejoice
God’s forever Love with June
Stan will be going home.

Stan is eighty nine this date    
waiting now at Heaven’s gate
where his Love
went on before him.

Some day soon
he will join June
Where the light
will never dim.

Time has past
since he hugged her last
now, the pain
unreal at times.

He knows she lives
where God’s Love gives
us Peace and
love so sublime.

And now….

His mission fulfilled
In what God willed
the race will end
never more to roam.

He made the right choice
The Angels rejoice
God’s forever Love with June
Stan will be going home.

(C) 05-09-2017
John L Stevens