black faded ink on parchment paper
these were the days
we knew dreams and eternity.

coffee stains on white fitted sheets
these were the days
we knew bliss and love

broken frames and burning cheeks
these were the days
we knew agony and nightmares

tequila shots, filling luggages and hasty departures
that was the day
I knew vacuity and broken promises

There I go again
I was dragged in
Inside that chamber
On the 6th floor

Heart thumping
Wild, about to burst out
This worst feeling
Seeping into my guts

I'm about to throw up
What butterflies?
These are dragons inside my stomach
Devouring me from inside out

Then it started
As I expected
I was handcuffed
chained all over, down and up

It echoes, the incoming footsteps
I shivered as I froze
'Cause I know what will happen
Then, the doors were locked and closed

There it is, The Ghost
"Why me?"
"Because it is you I chose,
and I know you chose me."

It pierces my chest with its hands
It dug my heart out
Torture, this is torture
Nothing can compare to the hurt

I am screaming in pain, crying
But I cannot let out a sound
Under its rules, I am bounded
To express, I am not allowed

If I let out even a soft sob
I will receive a million jab
Because to express is a taboo
And probably to be human too

But who is it to blame?
On the 6th floor, it is me who came
I came knocking, searching
The Ghost only accepted my pleadings

Because this is what I wanted
I'll have to heart-fully accept
That I'll repeatedly succumb to the torment
On the 6th floor chamber

Because The Ghost is right
From the start, the decision was mine
I know I cannot go back
*Because I chose to love

I'm a walking sin,
I play poker with the devil
Unaware
and oblivious to the faint, glowing
spell with a
galore effect.

I'm a walking sin,
with a heart so black
and a winning smile
to lure
little by little
anyone I could
twirl around
the pointy metacarpals

Hey Alex,
I went to visit you yesterday
I wore the dress you got me on our third anniversary.
I brought daisies and dandelions, combination of our favourite.

Memories of you in the hospital, vivid.
Laying on the uncomfortable bed
Face paled, the faint blush you wore, long disappeared.
I clung onto your arm that was connected to the IV

Watching you fall into coma with that beautiful carved smile,
Reminded me of our cherished moments
Our sweet memories came and haunt

Remember Moo's Ice Cream Land?
Our very first encounter.
You said you were enchanted by
my beauty
Oh the charming excuse you used when you spilt chocolate mint ice cream on my blouse.

Remember Hails Overlook?
We watched the sunset together
I saw you tremble when you took out the ring
It was a promise, that we were forever.

I also remembered our fateful dinner.
You weren't well, but it was our third anniversary
As soon as the food was served,
You clutched your heart and screamed out with agony

Rushing to the hospital,
Cancer was devil, the doctor figured.
Your mother wept, your father shed a single tear
And I, ran as far as I could and.. and died a little.

The daisies and dandelions I brought
Fresh from the town's florist
I gently place them on your grave
And kissed your engraved name on the stone
Goodbye Alex.

there was a boy,
sitting under an apple tree
with a calculus textbook on his lap
and headphones dangling

I suppose I fell in love
with the way he nibbled on his chapped fingers
and the way he runs his hands through his messy midnight hair,
his deep sighs as he continues to rub off his mistakes on his calculus homework,
trying to figure out whether x=1 or x= -2.
And I fell in love with the way he snaps his fingers and grins and chuckles softly when victory and justice in that calculus question was prevailed.  

there was something about the way he smiled
that healed her scarred soul

there was something in him that
made the little black butterflies flutter with joy deep inside her

there was something about him
that she simply couldn't explain

something about him that she couldn't figure out, like missing puzzles

He wasn't mine, but I fell in love with him.