Do you think your pain would fit in this bottle?
If so, baby, fill it up
'Cause look, I know you've been hurting
-- Sorry I'm not good at this stuff

I know all the words that make you smile
But I forget them when you look at me

Could you fill it up and send it back to me?
I wanna take your pain away
Don't laugh at me
Float your worries on the surface of the sea
I'll hold them for a while because I like when you're happy
Oh, I wish it was that easy
I wish you were that easy

i am seven and in your living room
with antiques & photographs
of family that are more like strangers
and handshakes at christmas
there is a jar of circus peanuts by the armchair
and i remember being told that these are here because they are never out of stock
and that they are the only things
children will not want to take from me
i still do not like the color orange.
i am eight and round the bannister
to an upstairs that reminds me
of heaven in that
place i can't go sort of way & i am
knuckle deep in your pumpkin pie
wiping it on my uncles suede jacket
our hands still shake but the jury is still out
on if he looks at me and napkins the same
i hope you do not sleep
with my apologies under your fingernails
i will not say them out loud
i know i should have mowed your lawn
i should have been a home
for second hand smoke
if i could go back i would be your ashtray
i remember the day you forgot who i was
i bound into the room and throw my arms
around you like an armistice
and you ask who i am
we are not in church
but everyone stops singing
i am passed from child to child
while we all laugh
but my lungs feel like
they've been mugged in an ally
who's son does he look like, mom?
my father says like gospel
you pull on your cigarette
sip from your watered down wine and shrug
and i am neck deep in forgetfulness
i imagine alzheimer's
as being born again every day
so, we will spend ages
looking at captions to photographs
telling your stories to strangers
as my father begins to forget
and when i imagine probate
an unfamiliar hand unfolding a will
to be read to wayward angels
i want to burn down the house
and sleep in the ashes

I looked around your room
And saw a  poem
Saying you were the troublesome ****
That no one really wanted.
And all I could think was,
if you were the unwanted ****,
Than I am the grass
That no one pays attention to.
Always trying to grow as tall as I can go,
Just to be cut back down again.  
Never being appreciated.

And you may be the troublesome **** darling,
But I am the child always thinking
you are the most beautiful flower in the garden.

everywhere I look
She's
there- in your notebooks that lay on the floor,
and
the wall that used to have my paper full of rambles,
also used to have things with
Her
on it.

everywhere I go,
She's
there- in my dreams (they always consist
of you leaving me for
Her
and you not even caring about my feelings).
on the internet all I see are poems
and in those poems
i wonder if they make you think of me
like they make me think of you
or if they make you think of
Her
like I know they did once before.

While i'm trying to run away from
Her
I wonder how you do it.
Then I realize, you probably don't.

She's
probably still haunting your dreams
just like mine.
and
She's
probably in all those poems
and on all those pages.

I just hope that
maybe i'm there too.

Love is the way I always come back
even though I shouldn't
and the way
you keep doing things
that will hurt me
just because you'll know
i'll always stay.

Love is the way I always try
to make you happy
and a better person
and the way
you try to make it work,
even if it is just for a little while.

You see,
you are the burning flame
destroying everything in your way.

And I am the ice
trying to heal all wounds.

but I am also the sun,
shining bright.

and you are the moon,
using my light
to shine all through the night.

I think I will always be sad
but you should know
that when i'm with you
it's the happiest I have ever been
and will ever be

I miss your kisses
soft yet eager
always wanting more

I miss you holding me
Every part of our bodies
touching each other
yet we were never close enough

I miss the way you made me feel
loved, wanted, and happy.