Broken Hearts and Broken Souls... On this day It almost seems I've lost all hope... I have been struck down to my knees and now will not get up... My shield won't hold out for much longer for I fear my time has come to face this treacherous monster...

You disgust me…
Here I lay, bathed in filth,
Your sickening, and yet
Still my favorite…
My memories subside,
While you have *** I whale, scream and cry.
Your body is like a cloud, smooth looking,
I can only imagine how it feels, not rough, not sharp,
but like steel.
Your ***.
Your ****.
You’re my bed,
You’re my bedding.
When I dream I dream of the dead, and you dance,
It’s the annual ball, and I see you,
I see it all.
I bath in sin,
I melt within,
I am liquid,
I am fire.
I burn.
I get higher. The clouds illuminate while I feel the grove today.
The sweet sounds of *** pound my ears and I cry.
My soul is pulled, and I have died.
Your eyes seduct, my life, and your words abduct me twice.
I’m in heaven.
I am head in,
Under water,
what has caused her to stab so sexually?
The sweet sounds of ***  pound in my ears.
My head is like an old abandoned motel
Your sweat smells sick but seems swell.
I am lost. Where am I?
There you are, but where am I?
I am on a mountain,
And you are at the bottom.
I have seen this fountain
You are on him….
Life… filth…. Sin…. Love… lust…  
I am lost.
I am blind.
I am gone.
I am dying.
I love you.

As the bombs fell from the sky, and the black smoke swallowed the sun whole… the world knew, it's time. The world is coming to an end. and if they couldn't prevent it from happening, then they knew that they'd all be doomed. it was a war between good, and Evil, light and Dark, water and fire and the living… and the dead. Hells voice was heard across the lands of the great planes of the beautiful earth itself. Mother Nature would burn for the horrid, the evil forces that were coming, it was when you could hear screams of millions across for miles to come, when you'd seen blood fill the rivers of the land killing anything that swam in it and bushes that would ****** you right up and eat you alive, to forrest that would tear you in half and mountains that would swallow millions of lives in just one gulp. This is the beginning of the  end.

In the eyes of thine enemy, I shall show mercy… I yield my sword and lower my shield. I pay my respects and understand a similar pain. death is unpredictable but a stalking predator. I will not fall to my enemy's knees. I will not surrender. But I shall yield in respect. I fight a battle of law, of justice, of fair play and at the hour of deception I will not let down my guard… but I shall not strike thee down in cold blood. For the first time in my life I stretch my hand out.. and offer mercy… support.. and sympathy. This pain… this force.. is recognizable for me… and if you have any sense of respect for "life" its self… you will understand when I say.. that for today… Instead of fighting.. instead of raging… instead of wishing and hoping and planing to shed blood… instead of this… I shall lift my enemy up… brush off his shoulders… look him in the eyes… and extend my hand out in welcome… in peace… in a truce.. for I have witnessed… everyone shares a burden. and today. My Enemy shares a burden I have carried more than once.

The Devil makes us sin, but God gave is the will to CHOSE. To have choices. To make choices of our own. To Choose our own Faith. Our Own destiny. Our own path. all we need…. is Hope.

Death…… would have been so easy….. for “Him” It was… it was quick… almost painless… But in hell…. you will always feel pain.. no matter what… But he escaped.. because Lucifer couldn’t take it… He was disgusted by “Him”…. he was repulsed… he spat him out and now we are together…. The things “He” Show’s me are unspeakable… the pain is unimaginable and indescribable… Mourning or even sympathizing would be a joke because nobody could ever understand what it was like for him… no one… But he found someone when he was down there.. in the endless HOPELESS pit of darkness… he found the unreachable.. He found hope… he made a friend…. and when he was on his way out… he did his damnedest to take her with him… but once the gates closed.. the Devil himself pulled her back in.. and when he looked back her face flashed before his eyes.. the rain of smoke and ash and cole dripped passed her face and he saw and endless pain in her eyes… he knew she was never going to escape… that shed burn in Hell for as long as Satan desired.. and no matter what he did it would not change a ******* thing… it was from that moment that he chose to change his ways… not for the better.. or the worse.. but to save her… he would return some day.. and he would free her soul… and he would make a choice unlike any other… He cannot love he says.. but the story “HE” tells me of “Her”… she was innocent.. so innocent it was fraud for her to be down there.. there was not a ******* reason for her to be in Hell t suffer but she was and it was by the Devils doing… and “He” swore to free her… in Hell… it’s easy to drop in… getting out is not so easy… Even if the Devil tries to push those out it’s rare.. he cannot just shove out anyone… The world of endless pain and suffering has no escape.. the entrance is not a door to just pass through.. the Gates of Hell are not a sight anyone would ever desire… because they will cause the first initial pain you will never want to endure in a thousand life-times and more… The endless screams and cries… the stench of death in every surrounding corner and each circle worse a billion times more than the last… it’s unspeakable… Dantes scripture won’t compare to the real thing… as close as you may imagine it getting.. it is not…. “He” would never consider it if it weren’t for her….

"Stop it…."

.. I’m sorry dear friend…

"This is over.."

… There is no innocence in Hell… but when he looked into her eyes….. he saw every reason to come back… and take her away.. be free… this is his curse.. and he is my curse… for my mind is tainted by his memories…. the loneliness.. the darkness… the silence… it is a tickle of his suffering… not even…. The darkness eats me… but he protects me… I am his.. and he is mine…. we are one… we are brothers…. and we survived… and he is trying to teach me… Hope… is the only weapon to survival… if we lose it…. there is no point…

"Derek…"

I’m sorry… I must quit… my madness is rising.. know this…. I am not what I seem… but I can be friendly… do not judge me or misjudge me… you know nothing of me or what I have and still go through..  I seek compassion… something to remind me of life… because all I see sometimes……. is death… I must go now… I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so ******* sorry…