In real life I find it ******* hard to speak
Mind frame is looking pretty bleak
Its not that I think I'm weak
But finding something worthwhile is what I seek

Pull down my six panel flat peak
Scarf over mouth, hood up looking like a freak
Strange looks but I don't care for critique
Hiding in a sea of people is my technique

I can barely contain the excitement
Of holding the one I adore
Love deep and unrequited
Her form what my arms were made for
Her smile brighter than the sun
Her voice a chorus of beauty
Her eyes deeper than the ocean
And ******* she's got one fine *****

They say ignorance is bliss
But how about this
Like minus touch its to be cursed
In a way that's much worse

If you are robbed do you not become waery
Stolen trust can be scary
Broken minds can be lairy
Broken hearts but you dare,see

Forgiving is a gift
But ignorance isn't
You can notice fact
Or pretend that you didn't

You can walk away
Or ignore it and stay
A dangerous game that you play
I just need to say if I may

Ignorance is to be cursed
In a way that's much wosre
Ignorance is not bliss
Something more you might miss

I sit and wait
For very little in return
So tonight,I'll set myself alight
And watch myself burn

I plan to party so **** hard
That my memories will turn to ash
I can drift further from this
And closer to the ****

Only shadows and self doubt surround me
Logical impairment around me
I try to break something real
But life is a bad crack deal
I stab myself in the chest
Not impressed,self digressed
Get so stressed
What's for the best?
Am I really real though
Work for a little doe
Drinking tinnies of the beer bro
Mind moves slow
And I've got to show that I've got to go
...so
Am I a real man?
Or some artificially created man in a can?
On a life's ban no tan of a bleeding sun on our skin
What is within?
But sin?
I begin
To move a step forward into the shadow
And you know
How you grow so go bro
Grow slow,so you pro

I woke up with you asleep on my legs
I cried because it would never happen again
You were there for me through all of my friends
But I knew the strength you'd never regain

I wanted you to live forever
Even if it was just me and you,regret id never
You were the comfort blanket to my heart
Yeah,the laws of nature we ripped apart

Every time you looked into my eyes
And when I think of it a piece of me dies
Because without a voice you could tell no lies
You showed me a zen path,though young so wise

I think you're the best friend I ever had
And I'm sorry I feel so bad
But we had to stop the suffering,we saw the hurt
We'll still think of you once you're in the eart'

You were so wonderful wild and free
The only thing until this point of you moving on was me
I looked at you and I could plainly see
That this is just the way it has to be

Deep within the dark forest walking
I can hear its breath,see the shadows stalking
Fear has taken over spaces in my mind it is caulking
Must stay calm,to myself I am talking

Twigs are breaking,leaves are shuffled
Cannot scream,cup hand to mouth so its muffled
Owl hoots,feathers ruffled
Stepping backwards,I trip over body duffled

Who is this cadaver,who could it be?
The rest of mind thinking,"I'm glad its not me"
Then I hear the noises from a tree
The glisten of my fate thereafter do I see

With no time to spare I turn and start to run
Thinking of myself "what if its not the only one?"
The sound of solitary bullet from a gun
Dizziness, blood loss, I accept that I am done

Aren't we all waiting to be read
And told that we make sense?
Aren't we all waiting to be edited
And mixed into a child,become parents.
Aren't we all the diary of evey days dream
And for those that agree here's recompense.

Claw out my guts
With veratious flare
Good intention cuts
Lost to nightmare

Free the negativity
Sergical prowess
What does it seem to be
More than generic stress

The battle rages on
War in my mind
Sense seems gone
Paranoia defined

Fear the shadow creatures
Because they talk back
Disjointed movement and features
Terror,suspence,then they attack

Love is wild
Love is free
Love is what
Brought you to me

Love is kind
Love is fair
Your love is why
I can still breath air

Love is perfect
Love is pure
For the sake of love
Please don't walk out the door

I want to give you the best of me kind of love
The rest of me kind of love
Always next to me kind of love

If love is blind I'll write you letters in brail
I'll remove all the lovers memories in a yard sale
I'll give you everything and when I fail

I'll carry you in the bags under my eyes
Open them just to counts the why's
And lie

Tell myself I'll be okay
Day after day
It'll be okay

But it wont

She can cut down morning wood
With a single look
Sorry I mistook
Her for a troll that goes by the book

Normally they live under a bridge
But this one came for the goats out of and open fridge
Angry looks,forehead is more like a ridge
Got abbos trying to ward her off blowing on a didge

Beat me in the head with ignorance
Belittle me with mediocre intelligence
Enslave me with remedial tasks
Hide my individuality behind these masks
Uniqueness no more than a meme
No more real than a life infront of a screen
Vapid bleating without passion
Trivialities such as celebrities & fashion
The pressure to assimilate
And self hate,an apathetic state

I'm going to say "goodnight" now,
Is that alright?!
I am very tired,
Please,let me turn off the light?!
I don't want to argue,
In my head,there's a fight.
I don't even feel human
Held together with ducttape and aryldite.

Play my arm as a violin
During battle I can't win
Never drunk enough,need more gin
Open up another tin

Self destructive path I chose
A way out I want but who knows
As the feeling heaps and grows
Not enough highs for all the lows

Door to exit but no key
******* mind,let me be
Cut it deeper,set me free
A yard of rope,swings from the tree

No more wanting,lets be straight
Open up that **** flood gate
A tidal wave of self hate
When you can't even summon will to *******

*******,ugly ******* mind
No love for self anywhere to find
Hanious actions when I rewind
When looking forward just a grind

My greatest romance is with death
Long to be berethed of breath
cook with chaos like a chef
Set the tempo,treble clef

...being hit with a brick in the chest
So hard that it knocks the oxygen out of your lungs
The feeling of suffocation,struggling to catch your breath.

In the absence of her the brick resides within my sternum
Weighing so heavily I struggle to hold myself up
Leaning forward I can feel my soul pouring out.

To look at her is to still the brain
Much like an aneurism,drooling from the brain damage
That only a perfect creature such as she can cause.

I'm fatally in love and it hurts
But I couldn't walk away from it even if I wanted to
I'm addicted and she is my ******.

The lonely mind
That wavers on a pond of indifference
Clawing at its own kind
Just to find
That we are nothing
No more no less
Break down from stress
Its all a mess
I digress
Light shimmering atop a body of water
Father scared as much as boyfriend over daughter
Voicing concerns,I think you oughta
Feeling real and free
Could it be
That you're lost like me
An up rooted tree
Shaking the leaves clean on a stiff breeze
Wrecked ship on rough seas
You could be the light
But you chose to fight
On a cold spring night
But its aight

I'm still here

When you need them and they're not there,
Because they're too busy or just don't care.

There is nothing quite so painful
As watching your love leave
Words can be misleading
Your heart it will decieve

Foolishly you will invest
Everything you've got
Then one day they'll up and leave
Feelings in the melting ***

You can try so very hard
To prove that you cannot quit
But if they're set on giving up
It will count for ****

Yes I may be broken
And like wise I'm a fool
Because I gave all I have to give
Used up,dropped like a tool

So what's the sense in tears?
What's the use of pain?
It all amounts to more wasted time
And there's nothing there to gain

Yes I deeply love her
I think I'll always care
But what's the use in saying this?
When she's gone,no longer there

Oh so many sleepless nights
That still have to come to pass
Oh so many poisons
That will knock me on my ***

I couldn't give a ****
Of other fishes in the sea
All I really want in truth
Is for her to come back to me

Today's decision is a brutal hang over tomorrow
To escape what's coming wellbeing  I shall borrow

The taste of regret and bad decisions
Surely better that neurotic visions

I'll say I'm feeding alcoholism
When really I'm avoiding egotism

Let's face it I really like to drink
Because when I do I don't think

Maybe my night will get exciting
Unless I just end up fighting

I caught my reflection,but it was not me,
It was an alternate reality staring back you see.
We waved at one another,mirrored interdimensional mimes,
I thought,"does this happen often & how many times?"
What if there has never been reflection,just a window to a parallel reality?
What if it isn't that at all and this is just an onset for skitzopheria and insanity?

Action is worth more than word
The absence of both leads to distance
Relying on only what you've heard
And finally ending in resistance

Push
Falling away
Push
Please let me stay
Push
Colours turn gray
Push
I don't want to play

Went to a field secluded enough
With my Daisy spent time in the buff
Made love slow but also rough
Multiple sqirts she soaked me with the stuff

She moaned and groaned like never before
Breath slow and heavy left dents in the floor
I wish I could explain with more than lore
After that ecstasy I'm craving more

Under the flesh,creeping crawling
Within the head,voices calling
Body numb,a sense of falling
Blank dark eyes,inside he brawling

Demons penetrate all that's real
The mind screams,"why can't I heal?!"
The fear and dread,to them a meal
Between this and numbness,cannot feel

The blade sings
Softly caressing the contour of a throat
Ears hear a sharp rotten ring
The screams of sacrificed goat
Long passionate kisses
Leaving a river of tears
Fantastic dark visions
To spill over the body
Crawling under the skin
Warm,wet a ******
Suffer the hell its found in
To wipe and find
The read strings of a guitar
Stretched around neck side to side
So close death can't be far
The drumming and pounding
Of fists to vessle
The percussion and throbbing in knees
All that's left is the base
But foundations lay waste
The song titled
*just **** me please

Can of super
And a fake smile
Tide me over
For a short while
To tired to explain
Not my style
This **** could taste better
A little less vile

A true master matches his skill to the challenge.Whitt to whitt,mind to mind,emotion to emotion.
When you walk a mile one way in resistance,then i,my dear,will walk a mile the other way.until the vast expance is to far to feel.
The closer you move in the closer I will come,I will bind my heart to yours given the option.
As tides I will go in and out with you in love.
But if there is more out than in then the shore will one day no longer kiss the sea.

Woke up the beast
It needs to feast
But at least
There is no shortage
For the maniacal
And its viable
That I'll regress
To a state since did pass
I wonder how long normality will last
Do I care?
Can I now?
If so how?
Let out the feeling
'Til I'm numb
**** son
What have I done?!

The shadow that I am,blending seamlessly  into a black pit.
It is dark,more so than any home I have dwelled in before.
This time I will not fear,but instead embrace the crushing knowledge that I am more comfortable in misery than I ever was in happiness.
Misery leaves one with the knowing there is nothing to lose.
I am free.

Razorblade

          Serenade

                    I'm not afraid

                                No more masquerade

                                                     The darker shade

                                                                  Through hell I wade

                                                                                             Until I fade

Genesis: a childhood of isolation and growth.

Chronicles: adventures,and lovers and friends.lives come and gone.

Psalms: the poetry spoken,written and thought.

Proverbs: the wisdom heard,learnt,taught.

Acts: the history of these things.

Followed by;-

Revelations: that we are not so different from that everlasting living text.

I fly so close to the sun
Mantra,"what have I done?"
Together we come
But left feeling numb

Who am I anyway
Flitter through clouds on a heavy day
We can find a better way
**** what anybody say

Fly a little closer
I want to pursue this
"Can I get to know you?"
"What's your name miss?"

"hi,my names A Mistake"
I'll watch your heartbreak
I'm fake
A ****** up little reprobate

Blame me mum
All the tings that ive done
I come
And from next chick I run

I don't want to be the the man in a heavy state
Irate
Drop the beat I'm a reprobate
I escape

I'm got myself together
I'm clever
No matter the weather
Whatetever

Instead of me
I'll do another girl
Its for free
I'll leave my body furled

I'm not ready to die yet
Mind set
Mind ***
I'm vext

But I'll die soon
I'm a loon
A cartoon
Its to soon,boom

A good ship doesn't sink
And bailing water only lasts so long
Fix the hole rather than bailing water

...you know I lay there thinking of your ****
And you know on ****** my throat you slash
If I don't die you know I'm gonna dash

Step out the door bludgeon an **** to death
Strangle a *****,leave her short of breath
Rub my face in Luke warm breast
If she says "Thankyou" she can be my guest

I'll **** every ******* fitty I see
Gotta let that deep wound ******* be
Asking as I got a ******* hottie on me
This is how I define being free

Drown me with you ******* ***
I wanna add more of you for hours for a final sum
Until my **** is numb
And when we're done polish off the ******* ***

Bang the bottle up you ***
I knew you wernt ready *****,you chatting pure gas
An alright looking lass
But between you and the rest,time'll pass

Twelve sentences
Thats my whole day
But **** it I'll settle any way
Clinging onto words you say
Its not much
Like the minimal touch
Double dutch
Press down like a clutch
Switch gear
I'm hear
But you're gone
So long
I was wrong

Hello words of often rhyming syncronistic beauty
Its be a while since we spent any time together but only a minute since I last thought of you
I'm sorry I don't write you as much as I used to
Do you still check the post for my words?
I look for you everywhere
While I eat alone
While I create works of art in skin
In the bottom of that empty bottle
And even in the cold space in my bed before I sleep
But I can't find you and it breaks my heart
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Please come home to me,it's been to long.

All my love,
Creep

I got my eye these golems
As they weasle and breed
See the lust in their eyes
As they watch eachother bleed
The sad sorry truth
They don't wanna be freed
Each wanting to be on top
Some heavy inhuman greed

No empathy or kindness
No truth heard audibly
I wish I didn't see it
Speaking honestly
But it is how it is
And its what they wanna be
So as my act of selfish want
I'll vent through rhyme odyssey