In a basement apartment
You fester with your demons
Till they tear right through
Been angry for to long
Nothing makes sense anymore
Wide eye expression when you turn on the lights
You keep it dark to hide from the light
Her memory creeps into your mind like poison in the night
It happens every time
Stretching through your veins likes vines
What is the remedy
To heal the enemy
That’s living within you
You’ve seen better days
You weren’t always this way
Is there a cure?
A friend had mentioned religion
Said you should prey to God
But you don’t believe
And you probably never did
Your not the type to be saved
Your mother tried when you were young
To give you faith
But it didn’t stick
It only made you sick
Pushed you in the direction of foul things
What is the remedy
To heal the enemy
That’s living within you
You’ve seen better days
how you’d wish to be
Back there
Back anywhere but here

I’m bitter
Bittery sweet
Like an iced latte with caramel syrup
Extra caramel syrup for me please
So I can subdue all my worthless anger

It is not a quaint construction

Nor is it easily read

But as you enter willing by my own hand

you feel like you will fall endlessly

into the gaps,

not sure where you'll land

And if this viral way of thinking

gets in your head

And you start to feel at home here

Remember

You are always a welcome member

But like the rules of physics are twisted by unforgiving machinations

And reality also with the wielding of imagination

What is possible is

look and touch but

Do not expect you will not to be chided or derided

I reserve all my failings as your own

That's what happens

when you untuck the gray matter in here

You lose your bearings

And I'm in control

I own the red herrings

You are left senses reeling

Mental overload

You cant see who I am in the dark

You can only assume what I'm feeling

Words cannot describe

And I dont care for your descriptions here

What ever your tribe

Don't graffiti over my art.

Dont judge what's on display

You won't have to mind your manners

But you will have to find your own way

Just as you found your way in and maybe out

I never forced you to take part

I didn't try to **** or raise your doubt

I didn't ask you to sing my song

While it swims around your head

But I'm sticky like that

And I'm slippery too

I dont stay on one side or the other

And dont placate or back down

I dont think straight or bent

Here in this space I create my world

And you are just another visitor asking for rent

In a place already filled

And that's the magnificence of it

there's always more space to go around

I didn't hijack your head

I laid it out and you fed

You took it in

You made it

Poision

Or an

Antidote

I just write thoughts

and leave them lying

around as notes.

X-ing
X-ref
Luxury
Generation X
X-ray
Xmas
exam
fax
xenophobia
Xerox
Faux
X Rated
X's and O's
Xian
X is the unknown
Xmit
X-files
Malcom X
3 x 2
X, IX, VIII

But if you've lost something you treasure,
Then X marks the spot.

The aftershock of love
Always shakes me the hardest.
I pushed you away
Now you've gone the farthest.

A delay in reaction
Is usually my action.
Divided two hearts,
Down to the lowest fraction.

Forgive me most
for I'm usually on time
I ran out of excuses,
Leaving you on my mind.

-


i can just imagine how things would
end up, me being a little more than
hesitant to even consider vocalizing
myself "Live" to dozens of listeners

—me—

starting out on a platform in some school
gymnasium just a short million miles away
from the safety of my writing cubical deep
inside a worm hole underneath my domicile

im sure that a few in the crowd will wonder
what this thing is doing there, my thin, shaky
form walking erratically to center stage with a
tablet in one hand and a cup of water in the other—

well, it could be *****..

the microphone will be way too big for
what little i have to say, commencing
with an unsteady vocal that many will find
indistinguishable from man or woman,

the rhythm should get better after the first
of several stanzas, but i will have already
spotted the ombudsman standing near the
emergency exit listening in—

just as i feared,

and as our eyes meet, his expectation
of structure and rigidity will boil me
down to the hardwood floor, reducing
me to the basic size of a Cornish hen,

spun lengthwise upon his rotisserie,
roasting away as a smoldering torso
from his slow hand-cranked rotations

over the campfire which he will light his
cigarettes from, leaving me choking
from the smoke of his evaluations
as i drip into the cinders and
evaporate along with most
of my self ~esteem..

i realize that he'll just be some ghost
that has haunted my every attempt
at simple boldness,

but i know he is gonna be right there
if i ever climb up to laser like stares
and the wide-open ~hears~ of
kindred poets and curious ears,

an easy fellow to pick out—

he will be the one
holding my neck
in his hands...


s jones
2008-2020


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