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Him
On my lips and in my head
Only in dreams,
Those sweet memories.

Your piercing blue eyes forced my vision to expand. I started noticing beauty in the things that go unnoticed. The ant carrying a blade of grass.  Your body. You didnt shower much but i didn't mind because your scent made me feel at home. Long hair covered every inch of you. And i loved it because it was part of you.

I havent seen you in a while but you taught me to appreciate everything for what it is. Now i know that i do not want to be with a man who doesn't see me in the same way as i see them.

Lesson One: Circles are never ending

Life is defined by cycles.
Whether i am in a bad or a good cycle,
I am confined to a shape.
I can choose to change direction,
but I have restrictions.
We are living patterns.

Lesson Two: Not every equation will need it's solution to be YOU.

One day you will be caught up in a love triangle. Your answer is him;
His solution is her.
Try as you might, you cannot subtract whenever you please.

Lesson Three: Always write in pencil

Permanence is scary.
I've been way to confident in whom I give my heart to, collecting pages in my notebook that i have to rip out and throw away.
I've made one too many mistakes made of ink so lately,
I've been writing in pencil.

I am a rare gift; a star princess. Cherish me while i still only light up for you. If you don't treat me right, I will be forced to find another energy source. Oh comet king, let us join forces and become galactic royalty

My clock say it's 11:18
I missed 11:11 by 7 minutes.
Maybe that is why he left.
I've shattered a dozen mirrors
and walked under countless ladders.
I have had 19 years of bad luck.
On May 13th,i will blow out the candle and make my 20th birthday wish.
I will wish for you to come back.

why don't you love me?
why did you leave
when my bones are frail
and my heart
is barely beating?
i still think you are as mesmerizing as
the first time you told me
in detail
about how much you admire
people who pursue their dreams
and i swear, on everything i love
that i only write about you in poems.
You ARE everything i love.
You are the only thing I love.
And you know what?
you are worth it...
but i don't know how much longer i can go on
trying to pursue my dreams
of being with you

Sanity

I want to bash my head against the wall
a hundred times over.
Why won't you speak to me?
Please still be my friend.
Don't disappear from my life.
I love you more than I will ever love myself.
I'm trying to get tangled up with strangers
to temporarily get you out of my head.

Sleep

I haven't been able to sleep through the night
without taking 2,
or 6 sleeping pills.
I keep having dreams about you..
They wake me up, and the only remedy is to swallow more pills to go back
to a world where I have you.

Blood

You always get upset when I cut myself, and
if you saw my legs right now
you would be so disappointed.
I'm so sorry.
My thigh stopped bleeding,
but I'm not sure
how much more blood
my heart
can lose