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Careena Jan 2017
When I reach out to you
And try to talk
And receive nothing in return
I fall back into feeling
Like I'm fourteen
And you are torturing me
With your silence
You taunt your affection
In front of my watering eyes
Place your lips centimeters
Away from my wanting mouth
Before turning away
And not speaking to me for years
I have to restrict myself
From giving you too much of my heart
So when you leave, I have something left
I ache when you walk away
Even if you plan to stay
I can't help thinking you'll leave some day
  Jan 2017 Careena
Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
Careena Jan 2017
"I don't like it when you're not around"
The tears welled up and his eyes fell to the ground
It's only temporary, but it stings still
Two years yet, the time alone gives me chills
But as time does, it quickly passes
And as I learn and grow in classes
You will live out your uniquely you dreams
We fall into place, as it so seems
In the end, I hope it's your arms I fit into, and you, mine*
And our love, like I always felt, would be suspended in time
The palpable emotion behind that phrase alone was enough to make my heart ache before I even left. I can't even count the number of times I got out of the car to hug you before driving away.
Careena Jan 2017
Boy's got a lot of soul
Classic and breathtakingly old
Makes you tap your toe
Big band swing
With a jazzy glow
What's the difference between music and love anyway?
Careena Jan 2017
I remember laying in this exact spot
Alone under covers, thinking of how stuck
I felt because of loving you
But being tied to him
Heart and mind so far away
From where my body laid
And I wondered how it could ever be
Anything other than just fine
He was just fine and not you
You were doing just fine without me
I was just fine being your friend
What a joke, I never could be
Not when your eyes broke my heart
And I could smell your sweet shirt
Your silent charisma, reeling me in
******* did it hurt
To just pass you by and be just fine
I never was, not then, but I grew okay
Wounds heal into scars and skin regrows
But the marks remain as reminders
And I always remembered, but lived my  life
Then there you were again, years passed
And I was unattached
But as soon as you came into my life
My wound was sliced back open and I bled
And you saw it and you heard me cry
Instead of hiding, you held me
Instead of running, you felt me
And told me you were there
But only if I wanted you to be
My face spills my heart so obviously
Now here we are and here I am
Laying in that same place
I can honestly say that my feelings
For you have always been deep and true
I knew it then as I know it now
You are my love, the only one, my muse
Careena Dec 2016
And when you tell me that you love me
There is a vulnerability in your voice
An exentuation of the syllables
A focused look in your eyes
Because of the realness and density
Weighing down on that single phrase
As if you were trying wholly
To convince me that you loved me then
But nothing compared to right now
And nothing compared to tomorrow

When you tell me that you love me*
I know that you mean it
I couldn't quite ever before
Careena Dec 2016
I have always wanted to
Tie a bow around the world
And present it to you as whole
But the hows and why's don't add up
Life is simultaneously illogical and cruel
And intricately absolute in its ways
Though it kills you as you live
With sprinkles of magic in the madness

I would love to give you everything
You've ever needed but didn't get
If only I knew how to retrieve time
If only it were my place to do so
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