numbness is a mysterious tyrant
because it’s hard to fix something
you don’t understand,
and it’s hard to paint the sky
when black clouds silently swallow the stars

and it’s hard to speak
when my thoughts can’t survive
the trek through my anxious lungs,
and it’s hard to be heard
when my words can only shake the air
around your jaw

and i’d be shocked that the quake of my voice
didn't shatter your bones like glass,
if that didn't suggest
i could feel anything at all

and i’d be shocked that the things i said
didn't crush you where you stand
if i didn't already know
that my words will bear more weight
when i'm dust


jjs

i close my eyes and feel the world
move below me

constants are shifting and
i know nothing of truth.
absolved of value as i thought
i was, i see now
mother earth had spoke lies through her beautifully crooked
  teeth

when i shout your name to the wind i am whole,
though my cries fall on deaf ears.
a whisper in the windstorm was never quite enough.
i feel your heartbeat states away,
i feel your presence in the place that
i close my eyes and dreams happen while the world
moves below me.
i reach out for the touch of you
but i am empty handed.
empty hand but a heavy heart,
  i know now that the blood and burdens
inside you are the blood and burdens inside
someone i love, and whose very blood
and burdens, i love also.


jjs